[Dictated]

[schrodingersghost]

[It had been a rough month for Danny. Actually make that a rough couple of years. A rough life.

Just... the last month had reached new depths of misery for him. It wasn't enough that the castle had made keeping his secret identity nearly impossible by taking away his ability to lie. It wasn't enough that he'd been trapped here for months going stir crazy with no ghosts to fight.

No, on top of all that he just had to gain all these new nightmares courtesy of the Event Horizon. He had to deal with memories of actually being tortured. Not just the nightmares he'd always had of being dissected.  This was worse, because it had come so close to happening for real.  And some part of his mind had thought his parents would approve of it.

How did you deal with something like that?

Danny had tried. Oh, he had tried. He'd stopped sleeping. He'd picked fights and blasted trees with ice and ecto energy until he couldn't stand up any more. But nothing helped.

And after a few weeks of this?  Danny just couldn't bring himself to care any more. He was exhausted, and he was so tired of being angry all the time.  He was tired of being scared. He was tired of people telling him that he had nothing to worry about.

He just wanted all of it to be over.

And so he finally grabs his journal and dictates a rambling and only slightly coherent challenge, the sort of announcement that could only be made while under the influence of sleep deprivation and complete emotional exhaustion.]

You know what? I don't care any more. All the people going on about how nice and understanding everyone in this castle is about people with freakish powers? Fine. You win. The castle and its stupid no lies curse and its thing against secret identities wins.

And when someone shows up to drag me off for lots and lots and painful experiments, maybe I won't even say I told you so.

I'll just say it right now.  I'm a ghost!  Happy?  I'll say it again. Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, GHOST! And I'm human. And no I don't know how it works, so don't even ask.

[And with that he trails off into mutterings too soft for the journal to pick up.]

Comments

[mal_addict]

...

Do we feel better after that outburst?

[schrodingersghost]

....No. Actually I think I'm going to be sick.

And have I mentioned how much I hate having to tell the truth all the time?

[mal_addict]

Is that even a problem for a ghost?

Possibly. And incidentally, I kind of already guessed. What with the asking about how people felt about ghosts in my world and all.

[schrodingersghost]

I'm human right now, so yes.

[He snorts bitterly.]

Figures. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a secret identity when you can't tell a single lie?

[mal_addict]

...Wait. I'm confused. Are you a human or a ghost or...both?

That's your loss, I take it, and not some ridiculous moral code.

[schrodingersghost]

Um, both? Neither? Something in between?

Yeah, and it sucks.

[mal_addict]

...Well, that must be interesting for you. So you're not quiet dead then?

No way of getting around it, telling little white lies?

[schrodingersghost]

I'm half-ghost. So yeah, not quite.

I've tried. It doesn't work. I can refuse to answer questions, but thats about it.

[mal_addict]

I feel for you. It's never easy, trying to live with one foot in one world and the other in another.

Huh. The castle is a fickle bitch.

[schrodingersghost]

You like understatements, don't you?

[A beat.]

You said you were a vampire, right?

[mal_addict]

I have a certain fondness for them.

That's right.

[schrodingersghost]

How's that working out for you?

[mal_addict]

Being a vampire? The same as it usual, really. Trying to be something else in order to not be slaughtered by an angry mob. All fun and games.

[schrodingersghost]

Gee, that sounds familiar. Only for me its less angry mobs and more angry ghost hunters. And angry ghosts.

[mal_addict]

Wow, they have you from both sides? I assume that's thanks to your half and half nature?

[schrodingersghost]

Yeah, well. The humans think all ghosts are evil sacks of post-human consciousness and ectoplasmic energy out to ruin humans lives for the fun of it. And the ghosts hate me because I stopped them from attacking the human world.

[mal_addict]

That sounds about right. We black ribboners get much the same deal. Humans still think were going to rip their throats out and vampires not on the wagon think we're traitors for giving up blood. There's no way to win.

[schrodingersghost]

It sucks, doesn't it.

At least with the ghosts they don't assume that I'm evil for existing. I even get invited to christmas parties. But how sad is it that my enemies are more openminded than my parents?

....I didn't mean to say that.

[mal_addict]

That's fine, losses are a pain and I tend to not be judgemental anyway.

Parents can be...difficult.

[schrodingersghost]

No kidding.