...These balls are rather filthy...
Did you seriously expect me to wash my balls before playing with them? They're only going to get dirty again.
This wood could certainly stand to be a bit harder... [squeezes it]
Hey, this is quality wood! It's good and thick.. Anyway, make sure you get a nice, firm grip on the base...
...Just listen to you, talking to me as though I have no experience. I have done this at least once before, I assure you.
Then you know how it works, right? If you're fast enough, you'll get to fourth base. That's when you score, Big Time.
[Pauses] ...Does this come in a shorter size? I might hurt you with it.
[Laughs] I don't mind a little pain! It's more fun if someone gets hurt, don't you think?
Do we not require some sort of protection for this?
We're just fooling around a little. I think we'll be okay.
...How is this supposed to get me to 'loosen up,' exactly?
[...Yep. Just as you thought... Baseball. Care to come and play? Or just be a voyeur. Whatever. Open.]