EIGHTH SHOT

[dog_eat_dog]

[Dictated quite cheerfully:]

Wish me happy birthday, people, I'm 40 years old today and therefore officially old.

Comments

[willrememberthat]

Happy birthday, Tess.

I don't think you look old.

[dog_eat_dog]

Thanks, kid.

I lucked out, I guess. Look at Joel and all his grey, the old dog.

[focusrighthere]

Insulting.

[happy birthday, babe]

[dog_eat_dog]

Any advice for me, Big Guy? This is new territory for me.

[bezazzled]

I'm pretty sure it was official way before you turned forty.

[dog_eat_dog]

You probably think 20 is old.

[not_nikkiheat]

I don't think 40 is actually all that old, but happy birthday, all the same.

[dog_eat_dog]

Feels plenty old to me, especially given most people here seem to be teenagers.

[lara_the_explorer]

I honestly didn't now you're in your late thirties when we met. Happy birthday, nonetheless.

[dog_eat_dog]

Oh, come on, I'm not that young looking. But thanks.

[indirectcause]

Happy birthday. Did you get a 'you're officially old now' certificate?

[dog_eat_dog]

Not yet, but there's still hours left in the day.

[rightchoices]

I'll wish you up a walker.

[dog_eat_dog]

The snarling kind, or the nursing home kind?

[ensorceler]

[ Would call her old but Anne's bordering on 36 wow. Anyway these people with their birthdays. ]

Happy Birthday, Tess.

[dog_eat_dog]

Thank you, Anne.

[lucre]

That is more than most can say.

[dog_eat_dog]

Don't I know it.

Dictated

[the_effect_she_has]

Really? Damn, you are old.

[Because if you live to forty where she's from, you're not starving to death or have been killed by the mines. Well done Tess! Katniss is impressed.]

Dictated

[dog_eat_dog]

Really.

I'm sure you'll get there too, Kat.

Action

[molotov]

[Sometime later, a ghost knocks on Tess's door and leaves a beautifully wrapped gift for her. Happy Birthday!, the tag says.

Inside, there is a plastic bag of dog shit with a bow on it.

Molotov might be a blubbering, non-functional mess, but she still hates you, Tessie-pie. ]

Action

[dog_eat_dog]

[At least she had the kindness to wrap it in plastic so it doesn't smell or leak anywhere.

Ew, says she from a time with old and struggling sanitation systems and streets lined with garbage and waste. What a forgettably minor inconvenience.

GARBAGE DISPOSAL TIME.]

[putuporshutup]

[Meg is internally cracking up at the idea of someone considering 40 "old" but she'll keep that to herself.]

Well then, happy birthday. Consider your drinks on me tonight.

[dog_eat_dog]

Cheers. Where we headed?

[silentrunning]

[Scrawled...]

Happy birthday.

[And as soon as she finds out where your door is, there'll be a cupcake sitting outside.]

[dog_eat_dog]

[Unintentionally creepy! Tess is getting out the power tools and getting rid of her name plate ASAP.]