EIGHTH SHOT

[dog_eat_dog]

[Dictated quite cheerfully:]

Wish me happy birthday, people, I'm 40 years old today and therefore officially old.

Comments

Action

[molotov]

[Sometime later, a ghost knocks on Tess's door and leaves a beautifully wrapped gift for her. Happy Birthday!, the tag says.

Inside, there is a plastic bag of dog shit with a bow on it.

Molotov might be a blubbering, non-functional mess, but she still hates you, Tessie-pie. ]

Action

[dog_eat_dog]

[At least she had the kindness to wrap it in plastic so it doesn't smell or leak anywhere.

Ew, says she from a time with old and struggling sanitation systems and streets lined with garbage and waste. What a forgettably minor inconvenience.

GARBAGE DISPOSAL TIME.]