assassino: (Default)
Ezio Auditore ([personal profile] assassino) wrote in [community profile] paradisa2013-11-10 09:17 am

i'll fix this title later

Salute, my fellow residents.

I am Ezio Auditore. I believe I am the only one here who is a native of Firenze in this time, so the task falls to me to ensure all you little turisti are safe and not inciting mobs. In the interest of keeping you from insulting my culture for the coming week, I have some advice to dispense:
  • While you may call it "Florence" if you wish, we do not speak English here and you will seem stupid. It is Firenze and we live in the province of Toscana. Italia is a region and not a country; if you speak of Italia as a country you will likely be branded a Borgia sympathizer, and the people of Firenze do not take kindly to the Borgia. Your loyalties are to Firenze.
  • Do not ask me about tomatoes. We do not have them.
  • Do not ask me about forks. We do not have them.
  • Do not ask me about tea, coffee or chocolate drink. We do not have those, either. If you do not like wine, you may drink water, but do not become cross with me when you find yourself ill. You do not wish to know what is in the river from which you draw water.
  • Do not complain if you find yourself without a bed. In this time only the very wealthy have a bed of their own, and the rest will share or find themselves a straw pallet or warm place on the floor.
  • My dear ladies: as much as I admire your fire and your spirit, I implore that you do not take chances by venturing out alone or where none can see you. Should the worst happen and you be violated, there is little anyone can do to protect you without risking execution. Please find a chaperone, and if you are unable to do so, contact me directly and I will see what I can do.
  • Additionally, ladies: Please respect my culture and do not try to comport yourselves as men do. Men and women have their different qualities and with that, different strengths. The women of this time will attest to that. Please do not quarrel with my people over this, as you will only embarrass yourselves and make your own lives difficult. It is just a week, hmm?
  • Executions are public and are thought to be entertainment. Avoid the plazas if you hear of an execution.
  • Gentlemen, Firenze is known for its beautiful women and this will be the best week of your life. If you can afford it, go to La Rosa Colta and ask Madam Paola for a girl. If you cannot afford it, you can find company for less than the price of dinner in the poorer districts, along with card and dice, cockfights and drinking, but do not expect any privacy. If you prefer the company of men, be secretive of this. You may be executed or tortured.
  • If you do not believe in God, keep it to yourself. If you are critical of the church, keep that to yourself as well. Things are difficult in Firenze at this time and you are only going to incite violence against yourself.
  • For the last time, his name is not "da Vinci", it is "Leonardo." "Da Vinci" means "of Vinci" as that is where he was born. He is presently in Milan, so do not bother me about him or ask that I introduce you.
And with that, I leave you an offer: should you require any assistance with meals, shelter, safety and likewise, correspond with me by the journal and I will see what I can help you with. I do not have room or funds to make you all dukes and duchesses, but I can certainly offer assistance to those who find themselves in trouble.

Ezio Auditore


---- Lucrezia ----

I imagine you are in a dire situation, Donna Lucrezia.

---- Stephanie ----

I do not care if you despise me or wish to never see me again. I still love you with all my heart and I would show you Firenze as I see it.

Please say you will join me.

Ezio
molotov: (bored)

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov 2013-11-10 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
What about a cigarette and a dress that doesn't show my nipples every time I bend? Can I get those?
Edited 2013-11-10 16:53 (UTC)
molotov: (ughhh)

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov 2013-11-10 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Not to this degree, and particularly not if I must be so uncomfortable to do it! I do enjoy breathing.

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 15:02 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 16:16 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 16:19 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 16:26 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 16:45 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 16:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 18:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 18:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 18:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 18:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 18:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 18:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 18:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:28 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-11 19:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] molotov - 2013-11-16 01:04 (UTC) - Expand
secondchances: (OATH)

Ezio

[personal profile] secondchances 2013-11-10 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[She purposely lets the filter sit for a while because she's stubborn and doesn't want to seem overly eager.]

I could use a tour.
secondchances: (KNEEL)

Ezio

[personal profile] secondchances 2013-11-10 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's dumb how being called dolcezza after weeks without makes her smile. Ugh, Ezio. Why.]

Florence doesn't seem the friendliest place right now. [Someone went to go check out Savonarola's sermon, whoops.]

Check out the rooftops near the--[what was it] the big place. Where a lot of the angry people are.

Ezio

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-10 22:29 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio 4ever

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-10 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-10 22:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-10 23:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-10 23:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-11 00:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-11 01:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-11 05:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-11 20:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-13 04:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-15 20:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-19 23:48 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-20 00:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-20 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 22:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 23:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 23:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 23:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 23:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-23 23:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-24 01:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-25 00:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-25 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-25 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-25 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-25 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-25 02:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-25 07:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-27 21:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-11-29 12:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-12-04 06:02 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-12-16 06:04 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-12-16 06:19 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-12-16 20:21 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-12-16 20:32 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] secondchances - 2013-12-16 20:52 (UTC) - Expand
gottaknockhard: (I think it's time we blow this scene)

dictated;

[personal profile] gottaknockhard 2013-11-10 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, that's... very helpful actually. And it explains why Lucrezia was so erratic earlier, if he hadn't figured it out already.]

Couldn't help but take the rest of us this time?
gottaknockhard: (forever broke)

dictated;

[personal profile] gottaknockhard 2013-11-11 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
At least there's someone to blame.

dictated;

[personal profile] gottaknockhard - 2013-11-11 01:19 (UTC) - Expand

dictated;

[personal profile] gottaknockhard - 2013-11-11 15:50 (UTC) - Expand

dictated;

[personal profile] gottaknockhard - 2013-11-11 16:18 (UTC) - Expand

dictated;

[personal profile] gottaknockhard - 2013-11-11 16:52 (UTC) - Expand

dictated;

[personal profile] gottaknockhard - 2013-11-11 17:42 (UTC) - Expand
mal_addict: (Don't Tread On My New Blue Boots)

[personal profile] mal_addict 2013-11-10 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Just when I start to decide you're actually semi-tolerable, you come out and say something that makes me want to ram your head repeatedly into a brick wall.
mal_addict: (I Wish I'd Never Kissed Her)

[personal profile] mal_addict 2013-11-10 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
All that comporting yourself as men stuff.

Also the lack of coffee, but I can't really blame you for that one.

(no subject)

[personal profile] mal_addict - 2013-11-11 22:28 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mal_addict - 2013-11-13 22:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mal_addict - 2013-11-15 21:26 (UTC) - Expand
lucre: (& / mother)

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre 2013-11-11 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Is that a taunt or an offer, Auditore?
lucre: (& / hat)

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre 2013-11-11 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
Perhaps. I wonder if that is an outcome you wish for.

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 01:38 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 01:43 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 04:07 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 04:11 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 04:18 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 04:41 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-11 04:49 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] lucre - 2013-11-12 14:58 (UTC) - Expand
teenagebadboy: (Pretty good mood)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy 2013-11-11 09:02 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad someone knows what's going on in this place. Thanks for the warnings, I appreciate that.

Is your home town always this much up in arms over things? My name's Aaron Livesy by the way. I don't think we have met.
Edited 2013-11-11 09:04 (UTC)
teenagebadboy: (What | I don't get you)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy 2013-11-11 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Ehum... thanks? My Italian isn't that good. It's good to meet you.

That's good. Too bad we got sent here at such a bad time then. Some people are pretty crazy. That's a bit scary actually.
Edited 2013-11-11 17:03 (UTC)

(no subject)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy - 2013-11-11 17:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy - 2013-11-11 17:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy - 2013-11-11 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy - 2013-11-11 18:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy - 2013-11-11 18:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] teenagebadboy - 2013-11-11 21:17 (UTC) - Expand
the_effect_she_has: (Thinking)

Ezio

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has 2013-11-11 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I'm a prostitute.

[Yep, that's Katniss. Getting straight to the point.]

But I'm a prostitute with really fancy clothing and my own ... home and ... weapons.

So I'm pretty sure I'm still a prostitute. Just how dangerous is this profession?
the_effect_she_has: (Thinking)

Ezio

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has 2013-11-11 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[Katniss put her hands on her hips, observing the garments before her. Then the weapons.]

So ... I'm Finnick. [One corner of her mouth lifted up.] Good.

[A brief frown.] I ... believe so, yes.

Ezio

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-11 16:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Katniss

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-11 17:17 (UTC) - Expand

Ezio

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-11 18:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Katniss

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-11 19:13 (UTC) - Expand

Action

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-11 20:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Action

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-13 04:51 (UTC) - Expand

Action

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-14 05:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Action

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-15 15:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Action

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-15 21:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Action

[personal profile] the_effect_she_has - 2013-11-16 02:27 (UTC) - Expand
eaglet: (side-eyes)

dictated;

[personal profile] eaglet 2013-11-11 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
What is wrong with the water?

dictated;

[personal profile] eaglet - 2013-11-11 20:29 (UTC) - Expand

dictated;

[personal profile] eaglet - 2013-11-15 21:19 (UTC) - Expand

dictated;

[personal profile] eaglet - 2013-11-16 05:09 (UTC) - Expand
lovemesomepie: (torturing alistair)

[personal profile] lovemesomepie 2013-11-13 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
So not only does this place kidnap people, it decides to be friggin' Renaissance too?

[Dean is angry and confused. And on top of it all, the water is bad. Normally, that'd be fine. But Dean-o here can't drink alcohol without getting sick, either.]

You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me.

I'd say I'd boil the water instead, but it doesn't look worth it.

(no subject)

[personal profile] lovemesomepie - 2013-11-16 03:17 (UTC) - Expand