Nov. 10th, 2013

cant_breathe_no_heir: (STRONG uh....)
[personal profile] cant_breathe_no_heir
[Equius's voice shows panic and his breath is short.]

Nepeta, I think it would be wise if you found someplace to hide for the remainder of this excursion. The same could probably be said for you, Vriska.

To all others. Try to avoid the mobs. They are quite restless and I do not believe they can be reasoned with.
assassino: (Default)
[personal profile] assassino
Salute, my fellow residents.

I am Ezio Auditore. I believe I am the only one here who is a native of Firenze in this time, so the task falls to me to ensure all you little turisti are safe and not inciting mobs. In the interest of keeping you from insulting my culture for the coming week, I have some advice to dispense:
  • While you may call it "Florence" if you wish, we do not speak English here and you will seem stupid. It is Firenze and we live in the province of Toscana. Italia is a region and not a country; if you speak of Italia as a country you will likely be branded a Borgia sympathizer, and the people of Firenze do not take kindly to the Borgia. Your loyalties are to Firenze.
  • Do not ask me about tomatoes. We do not have them.
  • Do not ask me about forks. We do not have them.
  • Do not ask me about tea, coffee or chocolate drink. We do not have those, either. If you do not like wine, you may drink water, but do not become cross with me when you find yourself ill. You do not wish to know what is in the river from which you draw water.
  • Do not complain if you find yourself without a bed. In this time only the very wealthy have a bed of their own, and the rest will share or find themselves a straw pallet or warm place on the floor.
  • My dear ladies: as much as I admire your fire and your spirit, I implore that you do not take chances by venturing out alone or where none can see you. Should the worst happen and you be violated, there is little anyone can do to protect you without risking execution. Please find a chaperone, and if you are unable to do so, contact me directly and I will see what I can do.
  • Additionally, ladies: Please respect my culture and do not try to comport yourselves as men do. Men and women have their different qualities and with that, different strengths. The women of this time will attest to that. Please do not quarrel with my people over this, as you will only embarrass yourselves and make your own lives difficult. It is just a week, hmm?
  • Executions are public and are thought to be entertainment. Avoid the plazas if you hear of an execution.
  • Gentlemen, Firenze is known for its beautiful women and this will be the best week of your life. If you can afford it, go to La Rosa Colta and ask Madam Paola for a girl. If you cannot afford it, you can find company for less than the price of dinner in the poorer districts, along with card and dice, cockfights and drinking, but do not expect any privacy. If you prefer the company of men, be secretive of this. You may be executed or tortured.
  • If you do not believe in God, keep it to yourself. If you are critical of the church, keep that to yourself as well. Things are difficult in Firenze at this time and you are only going to incite violence against yourself.
  • For the last time, his name is not "da Vinci", it is "Leonardo." "Da Vinci" means "of Vinci" as that is where he was born. He is presently in Milan, so do not bother me about him or ask that I introduce you.
And with that, I leave you an offer: should you require any assistance with meals, shelter, safety and likewise, correspond with me by the journal and I will see what I can help you with. I do not have room or funds to make you all dukes and duchesses, but I can certainly offer assistance to those who find themselves in trouble.

Ezio Auditore


Lucrezia )

Stephanie )

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