hard_talker: ((HHH) PARDON MY CAPSLOCK)
hard_talker ([personal profile] hard_talker) wrote in [community profile] paradisa2012-01-30 11:19 pm

98.5 - got more to give than you've got to prove (broadcast)

[the usual Leonard Cohen tune plays for a little while ... and then is interrupted by the crackle and buzz of radio static. a moment later, it's replaced by this album, which Mark lets play underneath as he broadcasts]

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd here it is, Monday night, time for the latest edition of what's goin' down here in questionably beautiful Castle Wonderfuck! I'm sure you all enjoyed the nice little festival we've had the past few days, learned a lot about some pretty badass heroes ... I know I did, even if today ended on a really fucked-up note. Anyone know what the deal with that giant wolf thing was? I saw it outside the window and decided I'd just be a spectator, today ...

And hey, before I get to the meat of this week's food for thought, let's give a nice Monday night welcome to Senri, Edward Elric, Wheatley, Yukiko, Connor, Murphy, and Christina.

Okay, people, we've got some serious business to get down to tonight. It's come to my attention that we ... don't actually have a set system of rules for this place, and people've taken their sweet fucking time deciding on one because of ... I dunno, political bullshit about everyone's worlds being different, and some having magic, and some not, and some being in these really awful wars where some stuff's easier to get away with and ... you know, bla bla bla bullshit city. So yours truly has decided to do you a nice little public service and get the ball rolling. You might not agree with all of 'em, and I might'a missed something, but it's a fuckin' start, which is more than I can say we've had in the year and chump change I've been here. Ladies, gents, and critters, I give you....

The Ten ComMarkments. [told you he'd do it, Maladict. he's got his journal open, too, so that the words are dictated in as he reads them. once they show up, he'll add the proper embellishments]

1. Thou Shalt Not Kill Or Maim Other Residents.
(Your ass will get locked up like Fort Knox. If you don't know what that is, look it up.)
2. Thou Shalt Not Help The First Gens Fuck Shit Up.
(They're assholes. We don't care if you hate the castle as much as they do, just don't fucking take it out on us.)
3. Thou Shalt Not Use Magic To Fuck With People.
(It's right up there with killing and maiming and will also get your ass locked up.)
4. Thou Shalt Not Use The Microwave For Other Than Its Intended Purpose.
(Just because you don't know what you're doing doesn't mean you get to deny people the chance to eat Hot Pockets.)
5. Thou Shalt Not Wreck Shit In Town.
(People who live there work there, you know. How would you like it if someone fucked with your shit?)
6. Thou Shalt Not Harrass The Townspeople.
(Really, what did they ever do to you?)
7. Thou Shalt Not Use Thy Losses As An Excuse To Be A Dickhead.
(If you honestly couldn't help it, we get that, but seriously, people. Don't fake it, either.)
8. Thou Shalt Not Compromise the Safe Zones
(.... But why would you really wanna do it?)
9. Thou Shalt Not Steal.
(Nine times out of ten you can wish it up, anyway, and if you can't? It's probably okay that you don't have it to begin with.)
10. Thou Shalt Not Help Anybody Break The Other ComMarkments.
(It's just not cool. And you could probably get locked up for that, too.)

And there you have it! C'mon, discuss! Let's turn this into somethin' we can all actually use!
cantacquityou: (Snarkbucks)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-01-31 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
And who is going to enforce them?
cantacquityou: (My teacup brings all the lawyers to the)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-01-31 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, I've heard of the Peace Patrol at one point. In that case, I --


...Did you say something about, 'trials?'
cantacquityou: (Contemplative)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-01-31 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
Hm. Interesting. I was informed that there was no judicial system here. Who presided over these trials?
cantacquityou: (Contemplative)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-01-31 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I am interested.
cantacquityou: (Contemplative)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-02-01 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
My name is Miles Edgeworth.

I am a Criminal Law Prosecutor for the city of Los Angeles.
cantacquityou: (Window)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-02-01 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
I've yet to meet anyone from the Peace Patrol. I was just sandbagged here but a fortnight ago, and I've barely begun to adjust.
cantacquityou: (Contemplative)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-02-01 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
[Such is what you get for being raised in Europe.]

Yes. I am quite aware.
cantacquityou: (Contemplative)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-02-01 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
[He takes a few minutes to skim the transcripts.]

Hm. Enlightening....

I suppose I would have to prepare a filter to you should I wish to inquire a little further. What is your name?
cantacquityou: (serious)

Hunter, likewise

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-02-01 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
Mr. Hunter. It is a pleasure.

For one thing, I notice that this, '11th Doctor' fellow served as both the defense and the prosecution in these trials. What is he, truly? A defense attorney, or a prosecutor?
cantacquityou: By IchibanDasai (me) (Standard Face)

[personal profile] cantacquityou 2012-02-01 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
Has he not a name other than, 'Doctor?'