bezazzled: (I'd trade my soul for a wish)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[Dictated excitedly]

Okay, okay. I've got the best joke for you guys.

[She clears her throat dramatically.]

A [The next word is whispered] naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table.

The bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink."

And the lady says--

[Then there's nothing. No punchline, no other sounds. Before she can finish her joke, Paradisa sends her back to Gravity Falls.

Maybe it just didn't think that joke was appropriate for her age?]
bezazzled: (pic#6636537)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[Dictated in her sweetest voice]

Helloooooo, my dearest residents of the castle! This is Mabel Pines, and I have a special offer for you.

As you all know, Valentine's Day has come and gone. As you also know, not everyone enjoys the holiday as much as the next person. As such, I feel compelled to offer you solace and a way to escape the lingering reminders of the holiday.

So if anyone has any Valentine's Day candy that they don't want, feel free to give it to me! I am willing to do this out of the goodness of my heart so that you don't have to look at that candy and remember any heartache that you might be feeling.

I'm also talking to you, people who are on diets and/or watching their figure! Don't be tempted by the sight of that chocolate. You can give me your candy as well. I don't mind one bit. Let me remove that burden so you don't have to feel guilty or anything.

All candy can be delivered to room 421.
bezazzled: (pic#6636539)
[personal profile] bezazzled
(Please Fill Out)

Time In Paradisa:
Single? (Circle One): Yes | No
Favorite Sport:
Interesting Hobbies:
Are You A Vampire? (Circle One): Yes | No | Not Yet
Are You Any Other Kind Of Mythical and/or Magical Being? (Please specify):
[Gnomes Need Not Finish This Survey]
What Are Your Thoughts On Silly Things:
Where Would You Take A Girl On Your First Date:
Do You Have A Car? (Circle One): Yes | No | I Own A Robot Or Other Cool Machine (Please specify)

Thank You In Advance For Your Participation!

[Mabel's noticed that it's almost December, which usually brings an abundance of... affection. She's being proactive about her prospects this year. She will respond to anyone that fills out this survey.]
bezazzled: (pic#6636528)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[A certain tween is standing just outside the ballroom doors in a very familiar space suit. But that's not what one might notice right away.

What they might notice is the large Halloween bounce house that Mabel has wished for and set to one side of the lobby. She can totally explain this.]

While waiting for my cowgirl friend, I figured I would keep my promise to someone in the castle. So I wished for a bounce house! I put it in the lobby, just in case you want to try it. I know, I know, everyone's totally going to the ball. But if you're not or maybe if you just want to bounce a little bit in-between dancing, it's there for anyone to use.

Rules! Because they're necessary. No shoes. Also no sharp edges or costume props. Just leave all that stuff outside the house or you'll pop it. And no popping it just to be mean! I will wish for another, so just don't be a jerk.

Now if you will excuse me, me and my friend are going to Halloween Prom.
bezazzled: (Where you think you're going baby)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[Now is the time for extreme gloating. Bask in it with her.]

What did I say? And you all thought I was just talking smack for the sake of talking smack. I warned you all about the Hufflepuffs!

But let's be serious for a second. Everyone played a very good game. You were all quite the competition! If I could, I would share the Quidditch cup with all of you.

[There's a moment of silence... and then muffled laughter, and then she just lets it out.]

FFFFFF. Who am I kidding? The cup is ours! Go Hufflepuff, go Hufflepuff! Ah ah! Oh yeah! Go Hufflepuff! Oh yeah!--ouch...
bezazzled: (Wind was blowin)
[personal profile] bezazzled

I'm bored. Therefore, I am now accepting jokes to make me laugh. Donate your best one so that I might make someone else laugh in the future! The person who tells me the best joke will get a thing.

Starting... now!
bezazzled: (I know what I gotta do.)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[Forward dated to the 16th]


So I was taking Waddles for a stroll through the castle this morning like I normally do--growing pigs need their exercise!--and we were discussing what kind foods go with which kind of dips, which is a whole 'nother story for another time. While we were walking, I couldn't help but notice that there are a lot of doors without names on them. What's the deal?

I know it's not all the people who died from that whole space thing. By the way? Welcome back! Some of you? Most of you... I was going to send flowers but I thought I had a little more time to get them ready. [She's not going to get technical or even bother to ask why their deaths were shorter.]

My point is, how come there are so many empty rooms? I know that people tend to come and go, but that's a lot. It makes us all more spaced out and far away. I guess if you like privacy it's a good thing, but where's the sense of community if your closest neighbor is aaaaaaall the way down the hall or at the very top of a tower?

It kind of makes you wonder if the castle is starting to downsize on the occupants.
bezazzled: (pic#5996373)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[Mabel clears her throat before speaking]

Hello friends, Mabel here.

As many of you set out to explore uncharted and even possibly dangerous lands, I'd like to take the time to recognize each and every one of you for your contributions to expanding Paradisa's knowledge and encouraging exploration!

I'd like to recognize you one by one, but we know that would take too long, and we don't want you to fall behind schedule!

Each of you is a shining star, so I hope that you will accept this as a token of my appreciation.

Please remember to stay safe. Consider it your number one priority! Remember to use safe practices when setting up tents, cooking meals, or running away from vicious creatures of the unknown. If we can get through this expedition without an incident, I'll treat the whole castle to a safety luncheon! How's that for incentive?

And lastly, I'd like to send you off with one of my favorite acronyms to keep in mind while traveling. I want you all to be your best... S.E.L.V.E.S.

L.oving life
V.ery much

Keep this in mind while you're on the road, and remember to have fun!

Now, for the rest of you still in the castle, don't think I've forgotten about you! Let's talk one on one.

How can we make Paradisa more enjoyable for everyone? I know you have some ideas, so let's hear them! Every idea is a precious gem just waiting to be sanded and smoothed to perfection, but we can't discover them without picking away at the brain a little. So let's pick up our pickaxes and brainstorm!
bezazzled: (So call me MABEL)
[personal profile] bezazzled
Bunnymund, Garry, Hellboy, Jane, John, Kalinda, Lucrezia, Once-ler, Vriska | OOC cut for images! )

[True to her word, Mabel will be out and about wandering the castle and delivering her hand-crafted gifts to her closest friends. She also happens to have a stash of assorted colorful headbands and wristbands that she also knitted in case she bumps into someone who didn't get a sweater.

Stop her along the way to say hi?]

(ooc: THIS IS ALSO AN OPEN POST. she's walking all around the castle delivering presents, so feel free to bump into her anywhere!)
bezazzled: (It's always)
[personal profile] bezazzled
So Gideon's gone. He's probably back home concocting his next scheme or something. Anyway, if you don't know who he is then consider yourself lucky. He's very charismatic, but once you get to know him he can be kind of a jerk sometimes. I guess I won't be needing bodyguards anymore, too.

But enough about that. I have been reunited with Waddles ever since Christmas, so all right with the world once again.

[There's an audible oink that can be heard over the journal]

Waddles says hi!

Speaking of Christmas, I was kind of unconscious for a while and then stuck somewhere, and also things happened? What I'm trying to say is I lost some valuable knitting time, so Christmas gifts have been delayed for a while now. Who wants to make it an early Valentine's Day present instead?
bezazzled: (Take me anywhere)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[The journal picks up the rustling of sheets and some groaning. This is followed by the sound of a young girl stretching. It's Mabel, and she's just opening her eyes from her week-long coma nap that was hoisted upon her by her own recklessness.

She stares up at the somewhat unfamiliar ceiling for just a moment...

Before she bolts upright in her bed and shouts rather loudly:]

bezazzled: (poopyheads)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[Lady Filter, no boys allowed!]

Let's talk break-ups.

Suppose you're dating someone with super powers or magic or something. How do you break up with them as gently as possible so they don't totally freak out and destroy everything around them? Break ups are really delicate things, you know? Magic and stuff just makes it super hard.

I don't know why I'm doubting myself. I mean, I did it before so I should do it again, right? I know what he's capable of, and that's not something I want to happen again. But he technically hasn't even done it yet from his point in the timeline. Maybe he's from an alternate timeline where he's totally rational about things!

No, no matter what he still deserves the honest truth. Maybe I could bring back up. Do we have any kind of super man or lady out there that can just sit in the back of the restaurant as extra insurance?

Thanks, ladies. I feel like we really figured this out together.
bezazzled: (So so bad)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[EARLIER IN THE DAY, one energetic Mabel Pines is exercising her new-found ninja abilities. She does, however, take a moment to mention her appreciation, knowing that they will not last forever.]

Crazy ninja world and politics aside, I'm really going to miss being a ninja. Usually I'm just a normal girl. I'd go so far as to say I'm average, but let's face it: I'm pretty far above average. [What is modesty] I just don't have super powers or anything like that, so this stuff's pretty great.

I don't know how much longer it's gonna last, but I intend to enjoy it for as long as I can... Whoops!

[Mabel giggles as she nearly drops her journal. From her place on the ceiling. Which ceiling? Well, where are you? Because Mabel is making it a point to walk on the walls and ceiling of almost every establishment that will let her. (And maybe even those that won't let her!)

Feel free to come across her anywhere!]
bezazzled: (Hot night)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[Dictated; here is a peppy sounding voice coming right at you through the journal!]

Well I'm scarred for life! Seeing as I doubt anyone is really going to want to talk about what just happened, let alone think about it ever again, I'd like to take this opportunity to provide an excellent distraction for you castle-folk.

Let's talk Halloween.

For those of you that may come from alien cultures where you don't have amazing holidays, let me fill you in:

Halloween, which falls on October 31st every year, is one of the greatest days of all time, second only to Christmas. It's where people get all dressed up in silly or scary costumes and then go door to door, raiding all their neighbors' candy. Whoever gets the most candy has the right to gloat about it in a really obnoxious manner because, let's face it, whoever has the most candy really does win when it comes to Halloween.

As a young person of the castle, I can only hope that we continue this timely tradition of dressing up and eating our weight in sweets. Which brings me to the point of my entry.

Does the castle do anything awesome for Halloween? I mean, come on. It's a magic castle! I bet it goes all out with decorations and spooky stuff. And like, the graveyard out front gets all foggy while 80s music plays to a bunch of dancing zombies. And cats! Cats wearing witch hats riding little tiny brooms.

My point is, if the castle isn't going to do anything for Halloween, we should totally put something together.
bezazzled: (I need some advice.)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[There's a heavy sigh before she speaks]

This place is really great and all, and there's a lot to explore. Even the expedition with its flying fish seems exciting! And I really, really enjoy hearing about it all. I bet everyone comes back with some really neat stories.

I guess I'd just feel a whole lot more excited if my brother was here. He's all about that stuff. Solving mysteries, uncovering ancient secrets, talking about stuff that sounds totally ridiculous until it turns out that he might know what he's talking about... I can't even think of a time when we were apart for so long!

[She's been nibbling at her hair, and there's a single sputter as she spits out the strands.]

I know there's no use moping about it, but I just had to get that off my chest. Let's switch gears.

How many kids and teenagers do we have here? We should take a headcount. Get to know each other. [They probably all know each other, but Mabel would like to make some friends while she's here.]
bezazzled: (And now you're in my way)
[personal profile] bezazzled
[A very loud and sudden crash can be heard over the journal. One twelve year old girl has just seemingly thrown herself backwards and collided with an end table in the lobby.]

I'm okay!

[As she picks herself up from the ground and dusts herself off, she places a top hat upon her head and looks around and--

Oh WOW, this is so not Gravity Falls.]

Whoa! Did I just leap back through time? This isn't even the pioneer days. Oh my gosh, is this the medieval times? That is so awesome! I wish I had a camera to document this.

[There's an audible gasp] This is unbelievable! I traveled into the past and granted my own wish. I love time-travel!


paradisa: (Default)

January 2015