vampirize: (ooh you've got sass)
[personal profile] vampirize
[There's the sound of a bored sigh and the audible pop of a wine bottle being opened in the background before Tesla starts to speak, his tone as lax as ever.]

Yeah, so, what, we had a world change or something recently? Honestly, I didn't really notice...I was too busy getting acquainted with the local culture. And by "local culture", I mean "all those wonderful sources of alcohol in the form of wine". The hangover was totally worth it, I haven't had a chance to get drunk like that in years...

[And there's the sound of pouring. His wine addiction is highly underestimated, really, it is.]

So, I'm a little bored. Totally not obvious, I know. [A pause.] Why don't all of you, I don't know, tell me a fun fact of trivia? Like the fact that honeybees have hair on their eyes, or that your small intestine is actually six meters long. I mean, I know a lot, so I don't think there will be many facts that surprise me, but go ahead.

Make my day.
vampirize: (that's interesting)
[personal profile] vampirize
[The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and it is a wonderful day to take over the world.]

[That's what Tesla is aiming to do in several years, sadly enough. There's no idea what the day it all comes to fruition will be like. But hey, it's not like his plan was going to happen in a matter of minutes. These things took time. Anyways, he's ready to look over the results of the tests for today back in his office, and he pushes open the door-]

[And steps into the lobby of the castle.]

What...?

[It all comes flooding back. The losses, the world changes, the things he had been a part of, the people...it takes a moment for him to adjust to it all, like he's waking up from a very long dream he wasn't conscious of.]

[And of course, there was the journal, his journal, lying innocently on a table nearby. He picks it up, spending some time flipping through the pages. Okay, it's fine. He knows this place, it's like he's just come back to another home, that's all.]


Well, well, well. Magical bloodthirsty creatures who appear from time to time who kill or maim people? Check. Weird residents who come from worlds I don't think I want to know about? Check. Somebody new asking about what this place is? Check. People whining about anything ever because they're too immature and/or stupid to deal with it? Give that one a million checks.

Looks like this place hasn't changed at all! Good for you, castle, you sure know how to change things up.

[He lets out a laugh.]


For all of you precious little newbies out there, the name is Nikola Tesla.  Yes, the Nikola Tesla. Don't waste my time if you only have stupid things to say. All the people who know me, you already know that, but it bears reminding.

Good to be back, Paradisa.

[Now don't mind him, he's just going to be searching out the people he does like around here, feel free to bump into him while he's doing so.]

vampirize: (um dude wtf)
[personal profile] vampirize
Okay, so let me get this straight, insect humanoids recently attacked the expedition, right?

[This is where normal people would wonder if people were okay and generally unhurt after such an attack like that. Nikola Tesla, however, is not a normal person.]


Someone please tell me they got some samples from them. Or, at the very least, dragged one back with everything else you got from that place. [A long pause.] Okay, okay, I might have been joking about that last part, but still.

For those of you on the trip, I need to know: what was the tech found on that ship like? Did the humanoids carry any weapons? if so, what were those like? Advanced, simplified, nothing more than a simple gun? Also, samples. Someone please tell me you took biological samples.

I mean, really, the amount of info that people have given so far on these things is just pitiful. I need something to work with, even if I wasn't there to witness it all.

How am I supposed to figure what they are without the proper information for it?

vampirize: (because vampires are awesome okay)
[personal profile] vampirize
So, we had stains on our bodies representing our regrets and doubts and whatever, and then elephants came to wash said stains away. Makes as much sense as anything in this castle, really. After two years, I really shouldn't question anything anymore.

[Tesla lets out a slight huff, before continuing:]

Anyways, so we have an expedition going on, or something. Here's probably where I tell you the whole "bon voyage" schtick , but frankly? Im not feeling up to it. Instead, have a few words of advice:

If it looks dangerous, don't bring it back to the castle.

If it looks too good to be true, don't bring it back to the castle.

Just...don't bring back anything to the castle which looks like it could cause ten million people to keel over and die without warning. I'm talking strange "magical" artifacts and the like which look harmless but are actually not. The last thing we need is an uprising of a version of the bubonic plague on our hands in a confined area like this one.

This has been a helpful public service announcement by yours truly.

Filtered to James Watson )

vampirize: (the werewolf messed everything up)
[personal profile] vampirize
[For a certified genius, Nikola Tesla can put his foot in his mouth way too many times to count.]

[Like he's doing now. Oh, he knows about the broken filters, but it's been around a week, really, they totally should be gone. Besides, he has to get this fact out of him, he can't keep it in forever.]


[(Broken) Private Filter]


I...still can't really believe that happened.

I mean, what, one second I'm joking with her, and the next I'm proposing...I mean, not that I wasn't thinking of it, but that soon? What was with me? And then she went and said yes...

[A slight sigh.]

I'm happy, I really am, but I just wonder if I'm ready for something like this now. I mean, marriage.

[He scoffs.] Never thought that word would ever exist in my life.


[End Broken Filter]


[GUESS WHO PROPOSED BECAUSE OF MAGIC CHOCOLATE ON VALENTINE'S DAY right this guy]
vampirize: (ever so cheeky)
[personal profile] vampirize
[It's a quiet morning, the sun is shining over the snow-laden grounds of the castle, the pond is frozen over with sparkling ice, and there's somebody shooting out snow from what looks like a cannon outside.]

[Wait, what?]

[Oh, that's not the only thing, because there's a loud BOOOOOOOM as the cannon shoots out the snow, though over the journal it sounds more like a very loud bomb has gone off in the vicinity. Not long after that, there's a pleased chuckle.]


Okay, that wasn't far enough. Probably change the trajectory, yes?

[Tesla seems to be talking to himself more at the moment, mumbling numbers to himself as tinkering can be heard in the background, but after a few minutes he finally addresses the journal, sounding abnormally pleased with himself.]


So...was a bit bored last night and decided to work on some designs I had hanging around, and really, all this snow needs to be used somehow. See, unlike other people, I actually do something productive with my time.

[A happy hum. Hey, when he invents things, he's in good spirits.]

I'm not telling you people what it is. Come outside and take a look if you want, but remember, I'm still testing it out. But no worries, the thing isn't at all that dangerous.

[Which is Tesla speak for "I AM TOTALLY GOING TO KNOCK YOU OVER WITH SNOW BECAUSE I CAN."]


Here's to a wonderful winter! [And the cannon booms once more, before the journal is shut.]
vampirize: (the werewolf messed everything up)
[personal profile] vampirize
This is positively the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. Painting roses? Using flamingos as croquet bats? Talking flowers? Was the castle on drugs when it created this all, or what?

Can castles even take drugs...? Oh, god, whatever, I don't need to think about stupid stuff like that. This is silly, and moronic, and I really don't need to be here, going to all those tea parties the creatures here keep rambling about.

[A pause as he grumbles to himself, before:]


They better have wine at that tea party, or I swear, I'm going to punch the Red Queen in the face, beheading or not.
vampirize: (i saw what you did there)
[personal profile] vampirize

Okay, really, I understand it's a new decoration and all, but having the kissing thing happen year after year is frankly just repetitive and annoying, if you ask me. This castle is about as uncreative as it gets.

[Tesla lets out a bored huff. He's sitting in the lobby, hopefully away from any nutcrackers of any kind, as he pores over what he wanted to say next.]

So, any horror stories from the kissing yet? You all better tell me some good ones.



[ooc: Very much open for planned or unplanned kissing of any kind! Despite his best efforts to escape them, a nutcracker will be there, so and kiss this jerk of a vampire scientist, if you want.]

vampirize: (the werewolf messed everything up)
[personal profile] vampirize
[The journal opens with a small huff- oh, Tesla's been hearing those coughs and such over the journals, and having lived in this place for around two years, he can smell castle-related shenanigans a mile away. This is really too coincidental, everyone getting symptoms in such a short period of time, but even so, he's not fully sure what it means.]

Now, that's odd. It's almost Thanksgiving, I would've expected everyone to be turning into giant turkeys or something, not, well, getting sick.

[And a pause.]

Or maybe getting sick will turn you all into giant turkeys tomorrow because that's how the castle works. Either way, I'm going to stay away from you all as best as I can. I'd rather not wake up with a face of feathers, thank you very much.

But, seriously, what are the symptoms so far? I've heard coughing and all, but anything else? Pains, dizziness, the works? Because while I understand that tomorrow is a day of giving, I could go without anybody giving me what icky bug you all picked up because I'll get sneezed on while walking down the hallway.

...

Maybe I should seriously consider investing in a hazmat suit, this is getting ridiculous.
vampirized: (i think i broke a nail)
[personal profile] vampirized
[Guess who is not enjoying their Halloween preparations as dictated by the castle? He's been rather avoiding people because of it, not because he's ashamed of the new, rather ugly look he's got on, but rather because this makes it really hard to a) actually write anything because of his claws, and b) hard to interact with people without them screaming their heads off.]

[So, he'll open the journal, and one can tel right off that something's changed- his voice is significantly much deeper than it usually is.]


Okay, this is...this isn't funny anymore. If this is the castle's way of making me involuntarily join in on the stupid Halloween festivities, then I'm sorry to say that's the last thing I want to do at the moment.

[There's the sudden sound of glass crashing to the floor and one can hear Tesla snarl like an animal.]

DAMN these claws!

[And then he lets out a huff.]

Yeah, so...anyways. If you see what looks to be a good-to-honest vampire going around, please don't go and stake it in the heart or do any of that silly stuff which supposedly you think does wonders against those things. Getting staked is annoying and ruins a perfectly good suit, the smell of garlic just wants to make me sneeze, and no, crosses don't make me want to run off to the coffin I don't have.

Halloween time is not "time to destroy the vampire in our midst" time. Besides, you couldn't even kill me if you tried. Understand?

[And then a slight hiss, as he mumbles:]


Hey, at least the castle didn't make me go and sparkle. I think I would throw myself out a window if that happened...

[ooc: Nikola Tesla's stuck in his vampire form until Halloween due to his new loss! Feel free to run into him if you want, he'll be walking all over the place, trying to avoid people.]
vampirize: (because vampires are awesome okay)
[personal profile] vampirize
[There seems to be annoyed muttering over the journal:]

Honestly, the one time I really need to drink, it's been stolen right under my nose...

[No, really, this is the worst timing. You see, wine isn't just any regular alcoholic beverage to Nikola Tesla. It's his guilty pleasure, the thing he turns to when everything goes wrong. And now, having to deal with remembering the nightmares he's went through without its help is really incredibly frustrating. And he knows he can just wish for the things, but some of those bottles had been gifts, and he's not going to trust the wishing system too much after what had happened a few months ago.]

[He clears his throat, finally raising his voice so that the journal can pick it up without trouble.]


Yeah, so, I'm sure you all know the alcohol is gone in the castle. Hardly a new fact. And every single bottle that I had stored up over two years in this place has vanished without a trace. Hell, they even took the modified alcohol that can actually get me drunk- I hope that, whoever they are, they're dying somewhere of alcohol poisoning in the utmost agony. They deserve it.

But anyways, I'm not going to complain anymore about that. No, what I want is for people to start giving me the wine I'm sorely missing, preferably as vintage as you get. However, knowing all of you, you won't give up your precious bottles of the stuff so easily, so I'm going to offer a service in return. If you need something invented for you, considering its not too large, not stupid, and not some huge weapon that will tear your enemies apart or something of the like, then I'll make it for you. I'm a genius, after all.

Also, be warned that I don't take these things lightly. You give me the wine first, and if it is as good as you say it is, then I'll do it. Cheat me out of it by giving me the cheap stuff, and good luck finding someone as smart as me to help you out around here.

So...what do you say?
vampirize: (run that by me again)
[personal profile] vampirize
[Well, this was kind of awkward.]

[It's been a year. One whole year since he and Maladict got together. Usually people would celebrate this in some fashion, but Tesla, being the romantic loser he is, is sort of at a loss at what to do. It's a miracle he even remembered the date in the first place, what with all the various numbers and data already zipping through his mind. But anyways...giving her coffee? Nah, she already had tons. Another bat? No, they had enough pets in the room, what with all his own pigeons and the lonely Magnemite that lived in the corner and buzzed sadly from time to time.]

[What to do...? Hmmm. Maybe the castle (as much as he loathes to ask the populace advice) could help in such a strange situation.]


[Filtered away from Maladict]

...

Do any of you know any special places down in town? I mean, I haven't been there too regularly myself, so...anything of note that one could go check out with another person?

And if you ask, it's for research. I just need the names and descriptions of stuff in town, not your little interviews about what I'm planning to do, thank you very much.

[/end filter]

Maladict )

vampirize: (being a scientist)
[personal profile] vampirize
James )

Maladict )

Helen Magnus )

[After writing in those filters, Tesla leans back in his chair with an audible creak, ready to talk to the populace of the castle once again.]

You know...hasn't it been a bit too quiet lately? I'm not talking about the expedition that just came back, I'm talking about the castle in general. Shouldn't one of those crazy castle-wide losses or world changes be happening by now? I mean, it's been too quiet. Too normal...well, if you ignore all the individual losses everyone has from time to time.

Or am I just missing something? Because it feels an awful lot like the quiet before the storm, in my opinion...

[WAY TO MAKE EVERYONE PARANOID, TESLA, A+]


vampirize: (i am so high right now)
[personal profile] vampirize
[Nikola Tesla prides himself in being a serious scientist. After all, this is the man who basically turned humanity around with his inventions and made our lives easier and more convenient than ever, paving the road for future inventions that would have been mere fantasies if he hadn't done what he had done in his life.]

[But what you might be hearing now is probably the opposite of what you would expect from a person like that. Because what you are hearing now, Paradisans, is the sound of Nikola Tesla giggling.]


[Which doesn't last very long- it's replaced by the sound of his very oddly cheerful voice.]

Oh, what a fine, fine, very happy day! [A hiccup.] I've-I've gone and gone around that stupid and completely idiotic rule that I can't process alcohol because my body metabolizes it way too quick and- anyways! You all should give me an award. Prefer-fefa-fably a Nobel Prize. I prepared a speech for it, you know. Got it all up in my noggin.

[He laughs some more, and there is the sound of clinking bottles in the background.]

You see, it's really quite simple. If you can't get the vampire to change, then change the compound of the alcohol! It's as....as...[He starts slurring his words.]....ssssssssimple as mutiplying the quantum mechanics of a Faraday Cage. Yes.

[And suddenly, there is the loud sound of glass breaking, and a thick clear liquid that smells pungently of alcohol seeps into the page. Tesla swears unintelligibly, stumbling to the ground.]

HEY! That-that was valuable science right there! Stupid hand, swinging like that...

[Good job, Tesla. You've finally successfully gotten yourself drunk. Never let a wine aficionado scientist who can't get drunk due to his nature as a vampire figure out how to get absolutely smashed. ]

vampirize: (this is my thingamabob)
[personal profile] vampirize
[Huh, it's odd, really. That Hephaestus cabin has been a pretty quiet place. You'd expect with all the geniuses locked up in there, you'd have weird noises of machinery and whatnot coming from it 24/7. But so far, there hasn't been a peep.]

[Until now.]


[BOOOOOOM.]

[Yep, that was the very loud sound of an explosion right there. After a few minutes (you can hear rubble and dirt falling onto the ground in the background, a very familiar voice, sounding smug as always, rings out over the journals.]


I have to say, all this mythology hullabaloo is boring, don't you agree? I've been mostly inventing things while you all have been running around spouting horrible poetry and riding hippogriffs and whatnot- as in, I've actually been doing real work.

And I've invented a ingenious prototype for an explosive that can actually transport itself to the destination you want it to go to. I call it...[He pauses, dramatically.]...the walking bomb.

[Tesla, you fail forever at naming your own inventions. He laughs a bit.]

Just be careful, all of you. Because I'm not going to be the one to wipe whatever is left of you off the trees if you happen to run into these things. Understood?

Hephaestus Cabin )

[And if anyone is near Hephaestus cabin, they'll notice a large hole in the ground and Tesla standing nearby, fiddling with a weird brown and gold robotic-looking device with legs. He's only built around five of them so far, so his warning about running into them was rather exaggerated. Open to all!]
blazing_stag: ([Hogwarts] Shouting)
[personal profile] blazing_stag
NIKOLA TESLA!!! BRING BACK MY RATTATA RIGHT NOW OR I WILL TURN YOU INTO A FLOBBERWORM!!!

((Loss start. Open to all journals.))
vampirize: (oh that's funny)
[personal profile] vampirize

So, it's that time of the year, again, isn't it?

[Guess who sounds like the smuggest person in the castle right now? Odd, considering everyone seems to be using the journal to complain about their new children and what to do with them.]

[Not Tesla.]

Really, just watching you all try to survive with your offspring clutched to you like flies on fly paper is just hilarious. Completely hilarious.

I have to say, Paradisa, this is one of the few times I'm happy with you. I didn't need a kid and the castle didn't give me one- how great is that? While the rest of you have to suffer, I can just sit back and not worry about a brat who thinks I'm "daddy" following me wherever I go.

Now, don't mind me, I'm just going to sit back in my very kidless room and just soak all of this in as the wonderful week it is.

[NIKOLA TESLA IS THE BIGGEST JERK THOUGH EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW THAT, NEWS AT ELEVEN]
vampirize: (now let me explain)
[personal profile] vampirize
[Hey, Paradisa! It's your favorite jerk of a vampire scientist. And today, due to the fact that he's easily bored, he's going to ask a question of you all, just to see what sort of answers he will get.]

So, this is more out of curiosity than anything, but what, in your opinion, is the most important invention in the world, and why? Like, what changed the world more than anything else that has ever been created by human hands?
 
...

If any one of you says the light bulb or the wheel, I am going to seriously ask you how in the world you survive with such an unoriginal point of view. I mean, really, I need some more creative answers than that.
vampirize: (all tied up)
[personal profile] vampirize
[So, the Pokemon world change has come and gone, and most of the residents have probably taken the Pokemon they brought back with them to keep around them as the companions they were over there. After all, what are Pokemon for, if not being your friends when no one else is there for you and protecting you from the dangers that might come at you in the bushes?]

[Well, apparently nobody told Tesla about that, because currently, he's using his
Magnemite as a way to power his inventions using its giant magnets.]

[Wait, what?]


You know, that whole world change thing that happened a while ago wasn't as much of a waste of time as I thought.

[He's sitting in the library, a very complicated-looking device sitting in front of him with wires and such clamped to the side magnets of the Magnemite as it floats nearby, looking rather unperturbed that it is currently being used as a power source. Then again, it's a Magnemite. How does one even tell if it is bothered at all?]


Magnemiteeeee.

I mean, really, who knew there would be living magnets just part of the natural wildlife? It was really quite the pleasant surprise. I'm rather glad I had the sense to catch one out of the swarm that decided to attack me, because now? I have all the power I want. Right here. The electrical powers have died down since I got back here with it, but its magnets are as strong as ever.

It's really quite helpful to me, being the inventor that I am. Because believe me when I say, magnets are sort of my thing.

[The Magnemite lets out a short whine as he reaches over and pats it, before continuing to work on his magnetic motor.]

[Tesla, you are doing the Pokemon thing wrong. :I]

Case 6

Mar. 19th, 2012 09:05 pm
jamesholmes: (n. [we deal with monsters])
[personal profile] jamesholmes
[ They'd gotten some way from the checkpoint, walking to the rendeazvous point to meet their contact. Helen had turned her head at the sound of a branch cracking, hand reaching to her gun as she waited for something (hopefully the sound of their contact).

When that didn't come her grip on her gun tightened, pulling it out but keeping it close to her. Helen gave a quick look around, her eyes widening in both surprise and recognition at the sight that was before her. James was still with her, Nigel not but... Nikola? And they were no longer outside, and their location was rather familiar ]


Oh dear God.


[ James was rather enjoying the walk, it was cold yes but a good day for a meeting at the very least. Gun in hand himself he had turned to say something to Helen about what she had said when he saw Nikola and then... ]

Oh bloody hell, this place, again? Helen, did we get lost somehow?

[ Or had they just somehow missed the, whatever in order to get here, again? ]

Well, well, well, if it isn't a party.

[Tesla had been quite taken aback to find himself here when he had been heading back into the room to check on the autotype for messages from Helen and James, but that was all null and void now, wasn't it? He sneers slightly at their surroundings, wondering what could have possibly happened again to bring them to this place.]

I would say, good to see you in one shape and all, but seeing you two like this wasn't anything that I had in mind.

[He folds his arms, inwardly hoping that that stupid officer that they had assigned him with wouldn't rub his grubby hands all over his autotype while he was here. Really, this was the worst possible timing.]


Let's get to the bottom of this, shall we? Can't exactly dilly around when we have a war going on back home.


If this is anything like the last time, [ Helen's memories were vague at that but she remembered Paradisa, and what they'd been told ] we don't need to worry quite so much about that.

[ After the last time that they'd been in Paradisa they'd been returned in tact, unknowing then of what had transpired but from her perspective now they'd been returned to the moment of when they left, and more than before Helen hoped that that was true again ]

And it's good to see you, Nikola.

[ Even if it hadn't been all too long since they'd been with him ]


[ James remembered it vaguely as well but the stiffness in his body that hinted at an alertness to the entire situation, no he doesn't like this and while he may remember the last time here, well it didn't make this easier. In fact with a war on, who was to say that it wasn't a plot against them?

Though he does nod over at Nikola, a short, curt, polite nod, just another sign of his unease at this entire situation.]


I do think we do, Helen. Even if we recall the last time here, whose to say it will be the same as then? We could easily be returned and find the weather machine activated and things very much against us.

((OOC: Loss start! Kerry will be on later to do Helen tags, she's asleep. Open to action in the lobby/journal.))

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Paradisa

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