Twenty One Spoons {Dictated}

[cyan_maid]

[Today’s entry is quiet for a while. You can hear Jane breathing softly on the other end – she’s not trying to creep people out by panting in the journal, that much is obvious, but it’s almost as if she’s trying to say something, and the words to do so are hard to find. There is definitely something on her mind here…

...Well, whatever it is, the sound of a box dropping onto a surface breaks the silence, and Jane sighs. She sounds a bit stilted, like this isn’t what she wants to say, but it’s something that has to be said.]

These – chocolates. And the little cake. I think they were left at the wrong door. Did anyone happen to drop something off for a Valentine in the Satis Tower? I’ll relay it to the right person for you. Or, um…if you actually left it for me, that’s very kind of you. But I don’t think I can accept. I…probably shouldn’t be getting involved with anybody right now. No offense.

[A pause.] Although…this could be a castle trick. Did anyone else get a present like this?

Comments

[fluthlu]

I believe it's a castle-wide occurrence. I've received a box as well.

[theabjectauthor]

I did. .... [he frowns a bit - at this point he's already half through the tiny sadcake]

I thought they were from you.

Dictated

[heirofficium]

[ There's a quiet chuckle on his end. ]

Aw, I'm sorry, Miss Jane. I should've labeled them more clearly.

Will you be my Valentine? Please say yes. I don't think my heart could take it if you said no...

[ Trolling? What's that. ]

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

So it's giving out chocolates is it?

[Said in the same tone as one who's just been challenged to a sword fight. SO YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH HOLIDAYS DO YOU PARADISA]

[cyan_maid]

And cake.

[Said similarly to one who is officially fed up with pink heart bullshit with a tad more bitterness. Rub it all in through the cake to the Crocker girl, of course.]

I honestly don't want anything to do with it.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

E-Excuse me??

[Haven't they only talked like once.]

[cyan_maid]

[Aw Lemony that's sweet. Best castledad.]

I would have liked to make cake if I could, and I was going to make something! My mood has been sour as of late.

[cyan_maid]

Oh! Oh, good. [Thank God she doesn't have to worry about actual feelings, she's so bad with those.]

You haven't eaten any of it, have you? I doubt it's safe.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Cake too? Streuth, nothing's safe, is it?

My burrow's always a safe bolthole if you need it. My chocolate isn't enchanted.

[cyan_maid]

I'll take your word for it, but until someone pounds my door down and demands romance, I'll try to weather it up here. It's not like the castle changed all its food to chocolate and cake - at least I hope not. As nice as sweets are, you can't live on them.

[Which is why Betty Crocker has instant mashed potatoes and Hamburger Helper.]

[fantasies]

Yeaaaaah.... That doesn't really sound like safe candy to me.

[cyan_maid]

[Henry!! Oh my goodness he should stay far away from this stuff, she doesn't know what it will do.]

Nor to me! I'm going to try throwing mine out, but knowing the castle, I half suspect it not to work.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

No, you can't, got to have a balanced diet, and all that. [He forgets exactly WHAT kids are supposed to eat, but details] Good luck, regardless.

[cyan_maid]

[She'll hum in agreement with that.] Thank you. You be careful, too, if you've got to come up to the castle.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Trust me, I'll be staying in my hole away from this whole mess. Valentines isn't my holiday, and I've got no intention to get involved in it.

Voice;

[goingrogue]

I left them, Jane. They are a signature of our bee eff eff love.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

Oh no, Rolal, I already had someone try to trick me into thinking they weren't part of some castle shenanigans. You're not hoodwinking me, no siree bob.

Dictated

[goingrogue]

I shoulda known, nothin gets past the Crockershoe. Actually, I got some too. I kinda figured they were from the castle, to be honest. As much as I wanna pretend they're from someone, I think I kinda doubt anyone's into me like that.

But for seriously Jane, you know I wish I could take credit. Shoulda stopped worryin' bout myself and my lack of romance and sent you the biggest box'o'chocs you ever seen.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

[She wants to smile on this end, but she's kind of in one of those lingering moods about stuff that happened. With Dirk. And talking. And yeah.]

The sentiment is very sweet, Roxy, but I don't think I could accept them even if you did send them.

[theabjectauthor]

Sour?! Oh, no. I'm terribly sorry to hear that! ... Perhaps the sweets were sent by someone who knew, and meant to lighten your mood.

[cyan_maid]

That would be nice to think, too, but I haven't really talked about it with anyone.

[There's the shuffling of a box on this end. She must be looking at the treats.] Besides, I would rather be safe than sorry. I've walked into nearly everything the castle has thrown at us while I've been here, and just one is one too many for my liking.

Jane

[theabjectauthor]

[this looks like a job for Super Castledad. even if he would never ever ever think of himself with such a self-serving and utterly ridiculous label] Well, should you ever need a conversational companion, I would be dutifully discreet.

Mr. Snicket

[cyan_maid]

[But he could totally rock that label if he had to.]

Really?

[cyan_maid]

[She chuckles.] Oh, right! It should be Easter soon, too. You're probably busy.

[With WHAT, though, Jane can't wait to see.]

Jane

[theabjectauthor]

[if he had to, certainly, yes.]

Truly. As I've said, I am quite accustomed to keeping secrets. But only if you would feel completely comfortable in confiding.