paradisa | ♒ 007

Entry tags:

eridan ampora

♒ 007 | dictated

[filtered away from sollux]

So, hypothetically speakin'... If someone is bein' a huge asshole to you, despite your wery best efforts to make amends, what do you do? I don't really want to confront him about it because he'd probably just try to blow me up, because he's the sort a jackass that would attack an unarmed troll.

[Or so Eridan assumes. The possibility of Sollux still having control of his psychic powers is the one reason he's been waiting so long to address this whole stupid bee pie issue and his general assholeishness.

Eridan was trying to be nice, even if he's no good at it.]

Is there anyway to get into his room without him noticin'? Long distance sabotage or somethin'?

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Uh - I can phase through walls, but he already doesn't like me much, either. But if you're trying to make amends, you.. probably shouldn't try to sabotage his room.

[I am certain that this is the guy you definitely want advice from.]

Vwhat's the matter, chief? Trying to get into his pants, and it's not vworking for you? I don't think sabotaging his room vwill vwin you any points, unless you're looking to get into his black quadrant.

If that's the case, go get 'em, tiger. Though it might be a bit more romantic, or at least set the mood, if he catches you in the process, you dig?

[Because clearly, the only reason here is that Eridan wants to have sex with Sollux. Cronus just knows these things]

Well it's obwious that he doesn't want to make amends, so why should I bother keepin' up bein' nice to filth like him? He's rejectin' all my kindness.

[Dead bees are unforgivable.]

[ Fff. ]

So you're going straight from apologies to messing up his room?

[Clearly.]

I...

[He has vague memories of Aradia mentioning black romance, and then immediately going off about some loss horseshit.]

I hawe absolutely no idea what the fuck you're talkin' about. How- why would fuckin' up Sol's room be romantic?

[Does he need an adult or not yet.]

Or somethin'! I ain't got any sort a definite plans right now. I just need to get things back to how they should be.

I don't think any sort of sabotage would help if you still wanted to make amends with him, whoever he is. Granted, I don't think it's my place to inquire about the problem, but I think something like that would set you back instead of bring you forward.

I don't think it's possible to make amends right now. He is the biggest asshole, ewer! I need to get rewenge, now.

Hmm...I still don't think it sounds like a good plan. If all you do is get revenge on each other, you'll never manage to make amends. You'll be too busy being nasty!

Is that necessarily a bad thing? We can't kill each other.

[He has the best priorities, clearly.]

An' it's just proper, to reply to an offense with another offense. Nobody wants to be weak.

Yes you can! The castle can bring you back to life, sure, but dying isn't really fun in the first place!

Hmm. But, it doesn't sound like something strong to do, either.

Dyin' isn't really that bad if it's quick.

How is bein' a pushower an' lettin' some lowblooded piece of shit treat me horrible bein' strong?

...I happen to disagree.

Well it sounds kind of strange when you think about it that way, mostly because I don't know what being "lowblooded" has to do with anything. It's more of being "the bigger person", and not showing him that he's hurt you. To try and make things right even though he's being mean can be much stronger than seeking revenge.

I haven't really, um, brushed up on my troll culture lately. How are things supposed to be?

Oh that's right, you're romantically retarded nowv. Hahaha, howv could I forget!

[Hahaha silly him!]

Alright, so trolls got four quadrants, right? Tvwo outta four suck, vwhile the other tvwo are the tops. That is, tvwo of them get you some concupiscent action, while the other tvwo don't. Totally bulgeblocks if you ask me.

Anyvway, if you pursue him like this, it really seems like you're puttin' the black movwes on him, like you vwant to hate his entrails, break his things, and pull out the pails. Does that sound about right to you?

[He may need an adult soon...]

Edited 2013-03-22 02:29 (UTC)

[Heavy sighing.]

Do you know anything about trolls? At all? If no, you really shouldn't be tryin' to tell me the way I'm thinkin' is wrong.

He's my lesser! That's how things are supposed to be, with me bestin' him an' not the other way around.

Oh- that's a blood caste thing, isn't it. Does that even apply here?

I do know some things! A few things...

Though, maybe you are right about that. I can't really tell you what to do if I don't understand your way of thinking.

You could try sneaking in through the window, but that requires a certain amount of dexterity that I don't think you really have.

[There's no need to be so rude.]

How could someone like you forget?

[If only Cronus could see the complete look of disgust on Eridan's face right now. Of course, he'd probably misinterpret it with willful ignorance.]

None of that makes any sort a sense. I'm not sure if this is because you're full a shit, or if you're just really horrible at explainin' basic concepts.

[This is just getting more and more frustrating.]

I'm not persuin' Sol. I hate him, but that has nothin' to do with pails! The only thing I'm pursuin' is rewenge.

I don't see why it wouldn't. There are plenty a trolls representin' a wariety a castes.

Six or seven, right? Are there more I've missed?

An' how do you know those things aren't just lowbloods tryin' to trick you?

But it's alright. At least you can admit that you're wrong an' acknowledge the humongous culture gap between us, unlike some other humans. You're not the worst of your species.

[Because that's totally comforting, right?]

An' who the fuck are you to tell me what I do and don't hawe?

[is this a challenge]

[Excuse him as he does some mental math.]

I think that's about right. A lot a repeated blood colors, but there's still a wariety.

Hey now! Aradia is NOT a liar.

[It's probably as much comforting as she can get.]

But that's really not enough for a functional hierarchy, is it??

[ Yeah she's pretty curious over on this end. ]

Where does red fit in?

Most rustbloods are.

[Eridan your douchebag is showing.]

Could be. We'we got midbloods an' highbloods an' lowbloods, too. It's enough to see the difference.

Red is the lowest. The peasant class, with the shortest lifespans an' all that shit.

I highly doubt that has anything to do with whether or not she is a liar! Which she isn't by any stretch of the imagination!

And you're one of the higher ones.

By all means, try scaling the wall of the castle to sneak in through his room, but when you fucking fall to your death, don't come haunting to me about how you should have listened to me.

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♒ 007 | dictated

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