manymoreteef: (Ready for anything)
Sunny Baudelaire ([personal profile] manymoreteef) wrote in [community profile] paradisa 2013-06-26 04:14 pm (UTC)

[Just wait, Church, it only gets worse]

We were sent to boarding school because no one wanted to take us in out of fear of being killed, themselves. The school did not have any classes for one as young as myself so I was given a job as the headmaster's secretary. I had to answer phones, though no one could understand me, and staple papers. We were forced to live in a shack on the grounds with vicious crabs on the floor and a strange dripping tan fungus on the walls. The rules in that school were strange... if you were late to class you lost the use of your silverware at mealtime and if you entered the administrative building without permission you would lose the use of a glass for your drink. And if you did not attend the headmaster's nightly violin recital you had to buy him a bag of candy.

It was at that school that we made our first real friends, though. The Quigley triplets - Duncan and Isadora. They were orphans, as well. They helped us when no one else would... and ended up being kidnapped because of it.

[She looks away, remembering the image of the triplets calling to them from the back window of Olaf's car... the guilt at being part of the reason they were there to begin with filling her heart]

Olaf disguised himself as a gym teacher, Coach Ghengis. He told the headmaster he would tutor us to get us up to speed with the rest of the school... in reality he made us run laps around a large circle for hours on end. [pause] Well... my siblings ran. I crawled. My siblings started failing courses and I ran out of staples in the headmaster's office. We had to pass a test to stay in the school and avoid being sent home with Coach Ghengis. My siblings had to study and I had to make homemade staples so I could staple a stack of papers. The Quigleys disguised themselves as us and ran the laps so we could prepare. We passed... until they discovered we hadn't run the laps ourselves and were expelled for cheating. We revealed Olaf's disguise but he had realized the Quigleys had their own family fortune and kidnapped them as he escaped.

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