paradisa | Post Japan round up [Dictated / Action]

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Post Japan round up [Dictated / Action]

Yeah, so just a reminder to people filtering to me. If you want to keep it private you still have to use my full name. Bullshit, I know.

Oh, and was I the only one dissapointed by the lack of giant cheesy monsters?

[Filtered to Tex]

Hey, I have to check on something but I think I have a way to get you a body like mine.

[Filtered to Natasha]

Are you going to be in?

[Filtered to Sunny]

Did you get a chance to enjoy Japan?

[Once he has that done it's time to pack his old body in a crate and haul it down to the garage. Like hell is he bringing it all the way to Stark Tower by hand. He's going to borrow the Warthog for that shit.]

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[Dryly] I think it was bad enough. Don't be disappointed. I'm still healing from that mess.

Then again, you weren't one of the lucky ones that had to deal with the monster that did show up.

What the fuck have you gotten me into now?

Wait... so something did go on.

What happened? You alright?

Holy fucking shit.... Tucker?!

When did you get here?

What's up, dickwad?

Five goddamned minutes ago. I just realized this was fucking communications device, no thanks to the demented fucktards who were letting me think it was a talking book.

But seriously, what the fuck have you gotten me into now?

I didn't do shit. It's the Castle, which sounds really fucking stupid, but it's true.

Hey, where the hell are you? I could use your help with something.

[Because if he doesn't have to haul himself around alone he isn't going to. Nice to have you back bro, get to work!]

Not as stupid as a talking book, dude.

I'm in some ... garden, outside of the evil sentient castle that kidnapped us. Why?

[His eyes narrowed behind his helmet.] This isn't going to involve some crazy Freelancer female, is it?

[Of course he's not. Lazy goddamned sonnvabitch. Good thing Tucker's missed you too, bro.]

I think the book thing is so that the primitive fuckers who end up here aren't totally lost.

We're smart enough to realize how a book works but most people here wouldn't know what to do with a data pad if you beat them over the head with it.

[slightly annoyed sigh]

I told you, I need your help with something... and no? Not really... Tex is here though, plus a bunch of other Freelancers.

Look, just get inside the castle and I'll meet you in the lobby. I'll fill you in on everything as we go.

Wait, there are like, cave people here? Shit, this thing really does like it's dimensional travel. And frankly, that might be the only other use for a data pad.

[Uh huh.]

Last time you asked me to do that, we fought an army of Texes. Pardon me for being paranoid. [Another pause] Tex? And more Freelancers? Is Carolina here? Or Washington?

[He moved towards the castle.] On my way, dude. [It doesn't take that long to find the lobby - it's right on front of the giant doors in the front.]

Close enough. There's a few people from times or planets that don't have much technology. Most of the rest from before space travel became a regular thing.

[Pause because what the fuck did you just say?]

Army of...Texes? I don't... that sounds like some freakish nightmare. An army of ex girlfriends.

And how do you know Carolina and Wash?

[He spots Tucker and waves. Have some random guy standing next to a big wooden crate waving at you.]

Oh, you might not recognize me... so hey, this is me waving at the other end of the lobby.

Yes. It did. A number of us ended up in some other dimension with an alien trying to kill us. Not that different from home.

Injured, but I'll live. I'm a Spartan.

Great, it really is going to dicks in armor and turkey legs.

Yeah dude, don't you remember? [A pause] Have you been fucking re-set again? Shit, this is going to be a long story - which will include how I know Carolina and Wash.

[Tucker comes around the corner, and now ... he's going to stare. Because that sure was a guy standing there. And not what he knew to be an empty suit of body armor.]

Uh.

Damn.

You got all ... corporal. [He walked over cautiously, gesturing with his gun.] Stick out your arm.

Remember what? Man the last time I saw you was when we all got reassigned.

Pretty fuckin' sweet huh...

[He smirks and rolls his eyes. But hey, why the hell not humor him. Church sticks out an arm.]

Dude, it's me, who the fuck else would it be?

I'll explain everything once we get going. Now help me get this crate outside.

Ho-lee shit, seriously? Great, not only did I get sent back to the medieval ages with an evil castle, I'm literally now dealing with time-travel.

[He reached out and squeezed Church's arm, before whistling quietly.] Yeah dude! That's pretty sweet! I don't want to know what kind of mutant experiment they had to pull off to give you an actual body, but still! Now you can get laid.

The fuck if I know, dude, the Director in disguise?

[He eyed Church, and then eyed the crate.] ...Yeah, I should have seen this one coming. All right. [He sighed, slung his gun over his back, and then went to lift it.] Now start talking, fleshbot.

Welcome to Wonderfuck man.

{He chuckles]

Yeah, that was totally my first priority.

[Give him a minute as he just stares at you for the Director comment...]

What? I don't... how do you... I can't... fuck it, let's get going.

[He scowls, Tucker you are the third person to bring up his resemblance to the Director. He's not happy about it. Still, you're here and he'd rather focus on telling you about his cool new body. So he shakes it off and picks up his end of the crate.]

Right... shit, I swear this thing is gaining weight... fuck.

Anyway, when I first got here there was a guy named Harper around. Total fucking asshole [ie. he was a friend] but he came from another dimension or 'verse or some shit where they were really good at building robots. He built me this body.

Fuck, I knew it would be aliens.

And yeah, you're a Spartan... but that doesn't mean we can't ask how you're doing.

[He almost said 'that doesn't make you immortal' but, yeah. He's not that stupid or assholeish.]

That other chick called it that. Castle Wonderfuck. Fitting.

[Tucker smirked from behind his helmet.]

What with that body being a virgin, dude, yeah. Getting it refitted all the way should be your priority. Bow chicka bow wow!

[He gives him a very blank look. You should know why you look like the Director, dude. If you don't, then time travel has got a lot to fucking answer for.]

What the hell is in this thing, anyways?

Harper. Asshole. Got it. [IE friend.] So he built you a robot container ... cool. Much better than the flying bowling ball. Although that had a laser on it. So what extras did you get with the fleshbot? [He waggled his eyebrows.] Did you get ...extensions? Bow chicka bow wow!

[Because he really thinks he's a ghost and died when Caboose blew him up.]

Ok, one... I am not talking about the anatomical correctness of my body with you. Ever.

Two... I didn't get this body just to get laid, I got it so I could have my damn face back. [Getting laid was just an awesome bonus]

Three... Tex doesn't have a body like this... yet. So the less you talk about my potential sex life, the better. For both of us. [Tex and jealousy is a volatile mix.]

And stop talking about weird future shit that I don't know about.

Oh.. and me. I'm in the box. Well, my old body is anyway... I have to bring it to town to get it fixed up. I uh, kind of got chewed on by a T.rex.

[Oh wow, Tucker will not want to burst this particular bubble.]

Ffft, whatever, pussy.

[Tucker peered back over the box to look at Church's face.] Okay, I can see the advantage of that.

And ... three, wait, Tex is here? Is she - you know - okay?

[You only wish you could see this Look, Church.] Man, it is not my fault I'm apparently from the fucking future where future shit happened. You need to tell me what you remember, so I don't go blabbing out future events and wreck our own timeline. Again. With four billion Wyomings.

[And with that last statement, Tucker drops his end of the box.] Mother Fucker, what do you MEAN T-rex? There are DINOSAURS here?!

Yes. There was a hostile alien. And bullets didn't work very well on it. We survived.

It took a piece out of my arm.

She's from before... before Andy blows the ship to hell.
She doesn't know about it and I'd rather it stay that way.

You won't wreck anything, we forget everything when this place sends us back... I just don't want to know. I hate knowing what's coming and not being able to do a damned thing to change it. [Thanks for ruining that Gamma... You evil little shit.]

Hey, don't fucking drop me! Be careful!

No, there aren't any dinosaurs here. Not that I know of anyway. They live out on an island somewhere.

[He shrugs]

The castle sent us there a little while back.

Edited 2013-07-30 23:18 (UTC)

Shit... how big a piece?

[Because he has a feeling that 'understatement' and 'Spartan' go hand in hand.]

Woah ... then yeah, I won't be saying shit. [Because so much had happened since then, it really wasn't funny.]

[He slowly nodded his head to that, as he reached down to pick up the crate again. Then he paused.] Wait a minute dude, are you telling me that your armor body is in here? [He eyed it.] Creepy.

[He eyed Church, in turn.] Just how far away is the dinosaur island? And why the hell did you not lead with that?

Oh it's not that creepy. It's just an empty suit of robotic armor. This body is creepy when I'm not in it. Looks like a damn corpse, all glassy eyed and shit. Bluh.

And, most people don't know about the whole Ghost thing. [He likes not being known as the dead guy haunting a robot.]

No idea, somewhere around San Diego. This place copies other places from other universes too... plops them out someplace in the Dead Zone and then plops us in them.

Which reminds me, there is some sort of a 'magic line' about a hundred miles out from here... if you cross it technology just stops working. And that funky statue thing in the front yard is a teleporter. Touch it and boom you're in the middle of the Dead Zone. So don't touch it.

In fact, don't touch anything that looks odd or out of place... or suddenly appears in the lobby. Don't eat anything that just shows up in your room either. This place loves to fuck with us.

Oh, well all right. Empty robotic armor isn't that bad. [Considering everything else.] Dude, where do you go when you leave the body anyways? For your ... ah, Ghost thing.

[And here he went and did not say anything.] Kind of like a giant holographic thingie. [Man, the past just keeps repeating itself.]

Dude, you know I don't like transporters. [Damned black icky stuff.] I'll just steer around that damned thing, thank you very much. [He plucked up the crate again.]

Okay, so don't be trusting the evil castle. Figured that would be a given.

Edited 2013-07-31 03:35 (UTC)

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Post Japan round up [Dictated / Action]

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Private to Leonard 'Laser Face' Church

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filter, what's that?

No idea, but Tucker can follow some simple instructions

Tucker (and this is where Church remembers to filter)

Church, man why does Tucker got to think of these things?

Tucker

Re: Tucker

Tucker

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Church

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