paradisa | xxv. dictated

Entry tags:

lucrezia borgia

xxv. dictated

My brother said, most things in life prove to be sad, but which are the few that will prove otherwise?

[ It is tempting to hide and never explain the foolish things she did during her recent loss, like smiling too much and trusting too easily, or what happened to change her since then. These days Lucrezia wants only to be left alone and yet not alone. She wants to be innocent yet strong, happy but not ignorant, to have friends yet not be hurt. ]

As for the answer to your question: I came of age, and proved to be sad.

Cassandra, Stephanie, Tim

[ As much as she would rather pretend her stay at the apartment never happened, it would be rude not to thank her hosts. ~~Then again, perhaps that is simply an excuse to relive the time somehow.~~ ]

My thanks.

Joshua

We must go to the movies.

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How old are you?

Eighteen years now. And you?

I don't know anymore.

What year do you remember last?

I was one and ten.

[Yes, the initial message is to all three of them. Cass sees that, but she knows better than to think she'll get any real answers if Lucrezia thinks Stephanie and Tim can overhear the conversation. So, she filters just to Lucrezia.]

Don't have to thank. Doing okay, now?

You are much too old to be only one and ten years of age.

[ Good thinking, Cass, especially when she would only carry on a polite conversation before cutting them off as soon as she can. ]

Was I not okay then?