250 people rebelled against Moses

[onlyanapple]

[It has taken a trek up to the castle, and a day's worth of people watching, but Crowley has finally figured out what's causing the Christmas kissing, and as such, feels it's time to carry on his sacred duty to the castle at large.

He sits in a chair in the lobby, idly twisting a sprig of mistletoe between his thumb and forefinger. His journal open on the table beside him, he idly dictates into it]

Well, well, my dear fellow residents. It's that time of year again. As some of you may have noticed, there is a lot of unwilling lip locking going on. This is regular, and pointless to fight. Might as well ride it out until it's done.

Every year, I pose a little challenge, open to anyone who wants to play. Whoever gets the most kisses during this interesting little season gets a basket of alcohol of their choice, and bragging rights for the rest of the year. Anything you manage to get beyond a kiss, willingly mind you, earns you double points.

So...who's game?

[[ooc: Open for planned and unplanned kissing]]

Comments

Dictated

[putuporshutup]

Do you even need to ask?

Dictated

[babyaliendaddy]

Consider it fucking brought, sir.

[Written]

[ofthursday]

I'm not certain alcohol is worth that.

[dog_eat_dog]

So do those of us retaliating against sexual assault get "points" too, or is it just the lip rapists who get to play?

dictated

[lord_wizard]

I was beginning to wonder if you'd bring it up at all.

forever!

[onlyanapple]

Thought as much. Good luck, not that you need it.

forever!

[onlyanapple]

Excellent. I expect to see a good turn up this year.

Dictated forever

[onlyanapple]

[He recognises the handwriting and instantly he feels a stab in his heart. Damn this place for making him have feelings. Still, he keeps his tone light, even if the feeling isn't really there]

You never know, you might enjoy it.

[onlyanapple]

Lip rapists? That's the first time I've heard that one. I wasn't aware a person's lips needed to be protected so.

Besides, Miss Placard, unless you avoid the decorations completely, you're going to get kissed anyway. That's just how the castle works. Might as well have some fun with the game it inflicts on us.

forever!

[onlyanapple]

Come on now, would I ever let you down?

[putuporshutup]

I doubt that I need luck, but I wouldn't complain about getting started right away.

[dog_eat_dog]

Hey, any time you're in my personal bubble without being invited, it's assault in my book and perfect justification for me to crack your head open in return.

And fun fact: accidentally walking by the stupid things is different from scumbags knowingly using them against others, so fuck off with your shitty "game."

[Written forever]

[ofthursday]

[Castiel is... Oblivious, as usual. But he remembers that Crowley was kind to him when he first arrived, and so has no hesitation to talk to him now.]

Doubtful. I know few here.

[And he's not super interested in kissing people he doesn't know, as fun as kissing is; he has Meg for kissing needs, after all.]

likewise

[lord_wizard]

Not in the long run, no. Though dragging it out to make me squirm is not beyond you.

[footnote]

[Definitely unplanned incoming...

Ignorance is bliss, or so the old saying goes, but that's not always true. Ignorance is never bliss when it comes to things like a winning lottery ticket forgotten in a drawer somewhere or, for example, knowing that your demon associate that is not quite a friend but is really a friend is waiting around the next corner with mistletoe.

Magic mistletoe.

By the time he realises his mistake, he's already within range and feeling the tug of the irritating little Christmas plant. Really, there's only one thing to say as he struggles to keep from stepping forwards.]

Blast!

[onlyanapple]

Well, best get to it. Daylight's burning, as they say.

[onlyanapple]

Well, this is one hell of an ice breaker, you have to admit.

[onlyanapple]

Just so you know, I'm playing the world's smallest violin right now for you.

[onlyanapple]

Darn, I missed a trick, didn't I?

Ah well, I'll just have to find other ways of making you squirm.

[dog_eat_dog]

Fuck you.

[lord_wizard]

Oh, please do...[said with that slightly lower, purring tone he's so fond of]

[onlyanapple]

[Oh bollocks he forgot to tell Aziraphale. How could he forget to tell Aziraphale?

Crowley tries to back away the second he hears the angel's voice, but it's too late, the magic is already working]

What the balls are you doing walking around when the decorations are up?

[Romantic words indeed as he steps over]

[onlyanapple]

That much, at least, I can't let you down on. [He does love that tone, he reminds himself to show appreciation for it sooner rather than later]

[onlyanapple]

Nah, I'd rather you not cave my skull in for the trouble of it.

[footnote]

I didn't realise you were going to be here, I thought you usually stayed in the town now.

[He sounds remarkably irritated for a man who is currently putting his arms on Crowley's hips to draw him closer. This is a nightmare, a truly horrific nightmare.]