forty detention slips

[delincuente]

So. Three years, huh.

[There's a rustle of fabric, and some of what looks like dark purple fingernail polish drips onto the page. In the background, something that sounds a bit like cavemen trying to sing rock music can be heard.]

I mean, it's kinda like the longer you're stuck in this dump, the less you miss other stuff. It sucks, but it doesn't hurt as much, you know?

[She blows on her newly painted nail, ruffling the journal a bit.]

Like, if someone plopped me back in New York right now, with all my memories, it'd just be weird. I wouldn't know what to do. Go to school? Make sandwiches? Like, how do you even talk to people you haven't seen in that long?

And it's so stupid that none of this even matters. I mean, as soon as this piece of crap dumps us back there, the three years, or however-many-years, are just this big waste of time. So why even do anything, if you're gonna go back to being sixteen and even more useless one day?

[The nail polish bottle makes a glass clink as Alex puts it down on the floor, and reaches over to turn the volume up on her CD player. Sorry, residents.]

Comments

voice;

[peacockherald]

You don't think it's worth it? The things you've seen and done here? Meeting the people you've met? Even if the memories vanish, they're worth something while we remember them, and a part of them stays with us.

I believe that anyways.

Even if I forget being here when I go back, I don't regret the time I have here now.

_{[ His Bonded was back with him, safe and happy and beautiful. His Bonded, who had died ten years ago. Even if he forgot these memories, he would cling to the now as fiercely as he could. ]}

[delincuente]

Well, yeah it's worth something. But I mean, really. What's the point of "now" if "now" gets wiped one day?

[She's feeling the past several months, with all of their losses, particularly strong tonight.]

I'd almost rather just know I'm gonna stay here, and then do it, you know? Make a life or something.

Dictated; sorry for the late

[indirectcause]

I'll take as many years as this place can offer me. I mean, we might not remember anything [or, you know, go back to LIFE] but it doesn't mean it's completely pointless.

[peacockherald]

Well, the fact is, none of us really know when or if we'll ever go home. Worrying about losing the days we've spent here - it's just an exercise in depressing yourself.

[delincuente]

I don't think I need any exercises to do that. Already achieved it.

omg i haven't done para tags in so long forgive me ;-;

[delincuente]

Even if it's almost like it's not happening at all?

[She knows Ben is going back to a shitty place, but she doesn't know just how shitty.]

NEVER FORGIVEN

[indirectcause]

Yeah, even then. At least it's...I don't know, something.

[peacockherald]

So why continue practicing it? Sometimes I act like this is a dream - a long dream, but a dream. Things matter here, but eventually we'll wake up. For now, just enjoy it.