Worst Vacation Ever... (Dated to anytime between his incarseration and release)

[originalcopy]

I just want you to know, whoever you are... you're a total dick.

[Church is currently sitting in a jail cell in the castle basement.   Doing penance for a crime he insists that he didn't commit.]

Hey, I don't suppose there's any chance for room service down here? 

((ooc:  For those of you who are friends of Meg, have fun with her accused killer... he's not going anywhere anytime soon.))

Comments

[deductiongeek]

[All the evidence pointed straight at Church. The weapon, the trail of blood, even the armored suit. He had no alibi.

But something about this felt wrong to Conan. Maybe the entire situation felt just a little too perfect. All the evidence had been too easy to find, almost like someone had wanted it to be found.

And there was the blood on the armor. To Conan it looked as if it had been carefully applied and wiped away. Not spattered and cleaned up. And if he had cared enough to clean the blood from the armor, why had no one cleaned up any other part of the trail?

He wanted answers.

And that is why Conan silently slips into the room and watches Church.]

Who do you think you're talking to?

[well_assembled]

[It wasn't true, it couldn't be. She knew Church, she read people it was why she was a live and so damned good at her job. It didn't fit, but he was there anyway and she was going to see him.

Natasha walked to the cell where he was being kept and looked concerned, even a little tired.]

Sorry, the Chinese place was closed, will you settle for some company?

[originalcopy]

Mrrg... oh hey, it's the junior detective. Did you enjoy playing crime fighter?

[He scowls balefully at Conan for a while before sighing and shrugging his shoulders.]

No one, everyone... myself mostly.

[deductiongeek]

No. I'm not satisfied by this at all.

I heard you. Who do you think did it?

[originalcopy]

Well, if that's all you got... guess I'll have to settle won't I.

[He was just sitting, resigned, on the small cot that passed for a bed. No pacing or fuming, he'd already tried that.]

[originalcopy]

At least that makes two of us.

How the fuck should I know?

[deductiongeek]

You knew Meg, right?

[originalcopy]

So what? So does half the castle and half of them have probably fu... uh, gotten to know her better than I have.

[well_assembled]

You didn't do this.

[It was a statement, not a question and it came as she folded her arms and stood in front of the cell. If this continued and he was actually convicted she'd get him out, somehow. She knew he was innocent, not because he wasn't capable of being a killer, but because this wasn't how he would do it nor for any reason. He'd need that, a damn good reason.]

Wanna tell me what happened that you know?

[originalcopy]

No shit.

[He leaned back against the wall of the cell, arms folded tight across his chest.]

What happened is I came back to my room to find a bunch of assholes accusing me of murder.

Action

[babyaliendaddy]

[To which the reply is ... a turkey sandwich thrown at Church's head, and Tucker leaning on the bars next to his cell.]

So ... this is pretty shitty, isn't it?

[originalcopy]

The fuck?!

[Church manages to duck mostly out of the way of the turkey sandwich, instead of hitting him square in the face it glances off the back of his head... exploding and sending its contents flying haphazardly across the room.]

Yeah, that's one way of putting it... did you seriously just throw a god damn sandwich at me?

[babyaliendaddy]

Yeah ... in hindsight I might have wanted to wrap that.

[Tucker said slowly, still leaning against the wall, one eyebrow lifting up as he observed his friend quietly.] What the hell, man? How the fuck did you get caught up in this shit?

[originalcopy]

Ya'think?

[He reaches up to get any stray bits of sandwich out of his hair.]

Man, I wish I knew. All I did was come back to my room to find these assholes and the next thing I know they're marching my ass down here.

[How the fuck does he get caught up in any of the shit he gets caught up in? The universe just loves to shit on his day.]

[babyaliendaddy]

Well, at least now we know why you keep getting shot. You can't duck worth a damn.

[Tucker leans his face on the bars, scowling.] Well, you didn't kill Meg. So how do the fuck do we prove it? [Because Church ... just wouldn't. Church didn't like killing.]

[originalcopy]

Ha ha... a sandwich is a bit bigger than a bullet you know.

[He folds her arms and leans a shoulder up against the wall.]

Wait for her to come back and tell everyone it wasn't me? Honestly, I haven't got a fucking clue otherwise.

I mean, I'd try to go looking around for the real killer but [he shrugs and reaches out to flick the bars making one 'ping' softly] something here is keeping me from getting through.

[whatever residents designed this place did a good job (those dicks!) making it escape proof from just about any abilities. Including his incorporeal self.]

[babyaliendaddy]

Unless she doesn't come back. Which might be a fucking long time, dude. [Tucker pointed out. Helpfully. A regular helper, he was.]

Okay, think, Church. How the hell did you walk into this? What happened before this? Who has access into your room?

[originalcopy]

Right... well, she better come back. [So helpful.]

Before this? Nothing you don't already know about.

Me, you, Tex... but she doesn't want anything to do with me. Honestly, it's not like my room is on high security lock down.

[babyaliendaddy]

We can't count on that, dude. We gotta get this figured out on our own.

[Think. Thiiiiiiiiiiink.]

Well, I am not gonna kill Meg. So that leaves Tex. Why would Tex kill Meg?

[A pause.] ... did you sleep with Meg too?

[originalcopy]

Well, I'm screwed. [He rolls his eyes but then actually starts thinking about the problem.]

I don't know, did someone offer her cash?

And for the record, No... I didn't sleep with Meg. I did kiss her though, which was weird enough.

[babyaliendaddy]

There are some people who would offer her cash - not many, but some. Wait, just one. That Silva dude.

[He leaned his face against the bars again, tapping his foot against the floor.] But he's dead. So she wouldn't have had to do it for money. Only other reason Tex kills people is if she's up to something.

[His eyes narrowed.] ... and she's only up to something when it has to deal with like, AI shit.

[originalcopy]

Silva? yeah, like he's some kind of criminal genius. [scoff]

There aren't any AI here... well, Rinzler but I don't think he counts, so it can't be her. Plus come on, that would be pretty low even for Tex.

She doesn't just randomly kill people. [She wouldn't frame him. Ok so she'd kill everyone he knows just to make a quick buck but she wouldn't do this... would she? He can't believe she'd do it. Mostly. Kinda.]

Voice

[hasmommyissues]

I take it there is a problem?

[Silva ... why are you doing this man?]

Voice

[originalcopy]

No, no problem... a problem is having to deal with a bunch of trigger happy idiots who's help, for reasons beyond your imagining, you need.

This, this is total fucking bullshit!

Voice

[hasmommyissues]

Pray tell ... what has happened?