paradisa | 1st Party - Backdated to yesterday

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cheese sandwich

1st Party - Backdated to yesterday

[The castle courtyard today has got itself a new resident in its midst. Walking around in a poncho and a Stetson hat is a little brown pony, a rubber chicken resting in a tiny saddle on his back. The journal open nearby picks up an accent that sounds like someone who is trying to be Clint Eastwood and only doing a passing job.]

Well, Boneless Two, I don't reckon we've ever stepped hoof in this place before. Maybe we ended up in the Crystal Empire? Figured the castle would be more sparkly, though.

[It's then he notices the journal on the floor, merrily recording everything he's saying. With a happy gasp, he ditches not only his getup, but his ridiculous fake accent.]

OH WOW! It's a magical book. [He crouches near to it to get a closer look.] Look at it say everything I say! Petey Pony Picked a Peck of Picked Peppers!

[Yeah. Good luck, Paradisa.]

[[ooc: Open in journal or in person...pony]]

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[The actual fuck?

Yeah, no. Meg's just gonna take her bottle of whiskey and tray of cupcakes - yes, entire tray, don't judge - from the kitchen and walk on by because N O P E.]

[For wanting to keep a low profile, David isn't doing a very good job of not using his powers in public. Today, he's channeling Zero G. Priestly, testing to see if the gravity manipulation power he has can work on himself. That obviously means he's floating, sometimes unsteadily, around the ccourtyard. When Cheese pops in, David loses his concentration, and tumbles to the ground.]

Oof! 'M I 'maginin' things, or are you a talkin' pony?

[Way to state the obvious, David. Real smooth. For his part, David looks odd among humans. A foot and a half of black hair stands straight up off of his head, and his eyes show blue and green irises. Pot, meet kettle.]

[Congrats, Meg. You are the first human-shaped thing he has seen in his entire life. You will be the yardstick of which he measures all human-shaped things for the rest of his time here. Don't mess it up.

He blinks up at her for a moment, before heading on after her.]

Wow, I've never seen anything like you before! Can you talk? What is even up with your hooves?

[And that's okay by Cheese, because David is only his second human thing ever anyway. There will be no judging here.]

You say that like it's weird, all ponies can talk! [Peering up.] Were you floating? Does that mean there are magical humans like unicorns?

[Congrats, dude. Your first human shaped thing is the would-be rotting corpse of some chick from Wisconsin that got possessed by one massive bitch of a demon that really isn't as big of a badass as she used to be, since she got herself zapped to a magical fucking castle in another dimension that had to go and give her feelings.

Not only that, but she's a hot damn mess. Her tacky bleach blonde hair atypical of her usual brunette locks that she hasn't bothered to fix yet is tied up in a messy bun. She's probably had the same pajamas on for the last day or two, she smells like booze and menthols, and her "hooves" are mismatched socks because oh my God who even cares anymore.

She stops dead in her tracks and glares at the talking pony and goddamn she's seen some dumb shit here, but this really takes the cake.]

Last time I checked, yeah. And I don't have hooves, I have feet.

[At least Cheese has never seen another human shaped thing to judge. Maybe that's how they dress? Poor unfortunately badly dressed creatures. He'll glance down at her feet, and then at her hands.]

I've never seen feet like that before. How do you even balance on your back legs without a tail? Are you some kind of featherless bird or something? [Pause.] Nah you can't be, you don't have a beak.

[You should have run, Meg.]

[She just stares. Blinks a few times. Maybe she can get a hangover? Because this is definitely giving her a headache.

Still, she sighs and arches an eyebrow.]

Just do, I guess. Take it you're not not familiar with humans, then?

[Not that she's a shining example...]

[Here's the Doctor, with a cup and saucer in hand, taking a nice sip as he crosses the courtyard. ... He really did make a lot of blends the other day. Watching the pony his pace slows... And he stops. And then he just kind of... Stares for a moment at the extremely excitable equine.]

Um. Hello.

That's called a journal. It's probably yours.

Huooohmans. [He sounds out the foreign word carefully.] Nope! I've never seen anything like you before, and I've travelled all over Equestria, so that's weird.

Are you from the Dragonlands or something?

Edited (sentences need to make sense TF god) 2014-02-25 02:00 (UTC)

[This place sure is full of the human-shaped things. Cheese glances up from his book, throwing Five a grin.]

Really? What do I have a magic book for? It's cool and all but it's not like I'm a unicorn or anything.

[Earth ponies can't use magic, getting the short end of the evolutionary stick as always.]

[Cass has seen men made of clay and gorillas who talk and a brain that could be a super villain, she's pretty used to really strange things. She'd like to think she's seen it all, thanks to her life in Gotham and her time here in the castle.

But... no, a talking pony with a rubber chicken, that still throws her off. Still, she has the presence of mind to pick up the hat he left behind and bring it on over.]

You, uh... you dropped this.

[At least Cheese is staring a little less at these humans that are everywhere. Even if they still look weird and their bodies don't make any sense. He takes the hat back, balancing it carefully on the tip of hos hoof, before putting it back on his head.]

Thank you, little filly. [Are they called fillies? He doesn't know. Maybe.] I'd hate to lose my travelling hat.

[Before answering, David takes a quick look into Cheese's mind. More than anything, he's curious about what sort of world Cheese might be from, that ponies can talk. What he sees beyond that though makes him pause. "This bloke's like me. Funny, that."]

Well, where I come from, talkin' ponies aren't a very common sorta thing.

[David snaps his fingers, and causes the water in the courtyard's fountain to flow straight upward for a few seconds, before letting it go back to normal.]

Aye, I was at that. Folks like me are a rare breed, where I come from. Not quite magical, but close enough.

[Cheese doesn't seem to notice that somepony's been poking around in his head. Instead, he watches David's display with a grin. Of course, it's nothing a unicorn couldn't do, after all the rulers of his kingdom raise the sun and moon every day. But such abilities without a horn...that's impressive.]

Ohhhhh so you're like zebra. Except without the stripes. Are there humans with stripes?

[David can't help but laugh at Cheese's observation. He totally understand the connection he's making, but the association just makes him laugh.]

Aye, there's a few like me with stripes. There's one bloke with blue fur all over 'is hide, looks like a gorilla's blue-er cousin. Calls 'imself Beast fer good measure.

[He gestures at the chicken riding shotgun on Cheese's back.]

Who's yuir associate there?

[Brock is out walking his dog. He's pretty much given up on walking the goat on a leash because a) it's stupid, and b) the goat just tried to eat the leash anyway. Which is also stupid.

So when he sees another thing on four legs, he's not really all too surprised. But then he realizes that it is... wearing clothes...]

Oh my god, I thought I was through dealing with you ponies for good.

[Cheese has no idea what a gorilla is.] Because...it's not regular to have fur? What keeps you warm in the winter?

[Oh, but that's a good question, and the little pony beams.]

This little fella is Boneless Two. He's my travelling compadre. Mee and him, we travel all over to where we're needed.

[Brock, you are the lucky winner, you are the first person to mention knowing ponies previously at all. That makes you special. Cheese grins, trotting over.]

Wait, they're here? Where? What do they look like? Do you know their names? Who does your mane? It's amazing!

[This pony is a riot a minute, but David is trying hard to keep his composure, reminding himself that Cheese isn't from his earth.]

Well, not fer humans, no. Humans like me hafta wear clothes, like shirts an' pants an' the like ta keep ourselves warm. Ask me, Beast's got the better deal outta life havin' fur.

[That sounds a lot like what David's been doing, though his only traveling companion for a long time were the extra residents in his mind.]

That a fact? You an' I've got that in common, though I'm short a traveling companion. Think I could've used a Boneless Two where I was headed, heh.

[Someone to call him out on some of his more rash decisions, the way Ruth had a few times. Oh, David just made himself sad, thinking about Ruth Aldine. He missed her already. The thought shows on his face, as he looks downcast for a moment.]

So what do ya do fer folks, outta curiosity?

Oh, well we ponies wear clothes, sometimes too. If we're feelin' snazzy. [Hell gesture a hoof at his yellow shirt. So snazzy]

You know what they say, you're never fully packed for hitting the road without a rubber chicken buddy to have along the way.

[Sadly Boneless Two only does that in Cheese's own head, which probably explains a lot of the dumbass stuff he does, really.]

I'm a party planner. I go wherever I'm needed, to throw the best shindings in Equestria.

[While you're at it fella, Earth ponies can't usually talk either, no matter if the Doctor occasionally pretends they can and he understands them. He carefully sniffs his tea... Just checking. And with a shrug and a bright smile, he'll chalk this up to the castle and hope he hasn't accidentally made psilocybin from tea.]

Everyone has one. To communicate with everyone else. I'm the Doctor. How do you do?

[ Oh my god whatever she's toking up must the best shit ever. Talking ponies and rubber chickens named Boneless Two. You can't make this shit up ~~unless you're high as a kite, clearly~~.

Effy is seated by the steps leading to the lobby, letting the cigarette in her hand go to waste as she watches that four-legged Clint Eastwood getting all excited over the journal. The book is pretty cool but a rhyming pony is something else. She calls out in the most indignant tone she can muster: ]

My castle is sparkliest.

Edited 2014-02-25 16:14 (UTC)

[Aaron was taking Clyde out for for a walk when he encounters the pony. The first one to spot the pony is Clyde who gives a happy bark at it. That catches Aaron's interest and he looks in disbelief at the thing. What the hell? Is the castle messing with his brain now?]

Flippin' 'eck...

[Oh... god............ him and his big mouth...]

Jesus. No, I haven't seen any of you guys in like over a year, but -- no, don't start that shit again, it's hair. You're not gonna get me using your weird horse terminology. [SWEAR TO GOD.]

[This Earth pony can. Boy is that racial identification going to get confusing for a lot of people. ]

You can talk to everypony through a book? [Magic is AWESOME. Look, he won't even question your name, mostly because it would be horrifically hypocritical.] I'm Cheese Sandwich, nice to meetcha The Doctor.

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1st Party - Backdated to yesterday

Action

Action! Because David needs a dose of something weirder than himself XD

forever!!!

Yes, good

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action

forever!!!

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action whoaaa

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yes good I approve

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in personpony clearly

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