[dictated]

[thehistorian]

[You know, there's a lot of things Shaun could say, but for once, he's going to go with a very succinct, slightly clipped--]

Does this place ever become anything even slightly resembling normal? You know, just a bit more sane than fairy tales and sentient marshmallows?

Really, my most incoherent nightmares are less insane than this. Some time away from the weirdness, that would be absolutely wonderful.

Comments

[assassino]

Were you stuck being a princess, then?

[He's joking. Sort of.]

[thehistorian]

Thank whatever God there might be, no, I was spared any lacy unmentionables or binding corssets.

[assassino]

What are you complaining about, then? You could have sat back and watched.

[thehistorian]

That doesn't make it any less insane!

[assassino]

You should be used to strange things by now.

[thehistorian]

I really don't think any human being should ever have to adjust to sentient marshmallows.

[chancing]

There are moments of normalcy, but I would not expect the weirdness to come to an end any time soon.

[heloise]

[ Marsh Mallows sound like some monster. ]

I hope the marshmallows didn't harm you.

[assassino]

I still do not really understand what they are, so it concerns me little.

[thehistorian]

No, no, they just-- were ... marshmallowy. At a distance. I did my best to avoid them, to be honest.

[thehistorian]

That's... a damn tragedy, really. Well. I suppose there's no harm in hoping, maybe with a healthy bit of denial.

[thehistorian]

Oh, they're mostly just sugar and everything terrible for you, but they shouldn't be sentient is the problem.

[assassino]

Just a sweet, then?

[heloise]

That is good. Were they fearsome?

[thehistorian]

Yes. If they were just a sweet, I'd have no problems with them at all.

[thehistorian]

Well, as fearsome as... small, baby chicken shaped sweets can be.

[heloise]

[ She chuckles. ]

Sweets? And they are named marshmallows?

[thehistorian]

Oh, yeah. They're made of sugar, water, gelatin-- things like that. Mix it all together with some food dye and they turn into this... spongey sort of confectionery we call marshmallows. Then you put them into little molds so they look like chickens and bunnies and give them out for Easter.

[heloise]

[ So amused. ]

You know how to make them? Will you show me?

[assassino]

I still think you're worrying too much, brother. You're in a magic castle full of opportunities and beautiful women. Go out and have fun.

[thehistorian]

I'm not sure I could make them from scratch, but I'm sure I could find some to show you. I mean, they were more than plentiful just a few weeks ago. I'm sure this place has some hiding in a cabinet somewhere.

[thehistorian]

Yes, but it's a magic castle that makes absolutely no sense.

You're certain the women aren't as crazy?

[assassino]

Who cares if it doesn't make sense? And I'm certain -- the craziest one I've met is devotedly married, and even then, she is easy to get along with.

But you may want to avoid the Mistress for, ah... reasons.

[themistress]

[Maybe learn to filter before you talk about such things, Ezio!

A single sentence:]

Your jealousy, Ezio?

[thehistorian]

The-- ah. The Mistress? [That doesn't sound promising.]