paradisa | 1/009: Damage control! [Dated a few days later.]

"

Non Judgmental people:
"Have... have you ever had the urge to... to just kill everyone? Maybe? And I mean really push it too, like... crush them into a paste or... or something like burn them up...

B-But then you don't because you... uh, well you started to care about someone and you don't want to hurt them? Because that would obviously make them angry, obviously. Yeahhh, what do you do about that?

"

Nick:

[A shuffling sound in the journal indicates that even after all this time, Wheatley isn't exactly sure how this is supposed to work.]

Hello? Mate?

[A nervous laugh]

"I notice... that uh, you never came to eat that cake. But... uh, that's... that's okay."

[He laughs a little sadly.]

"I was uh... wondering if you could help me with something else."

"

Dhaos:

"Mate I have a problem... well, it's more than just a problem actually..."

"

Larry:

"Alright. About that date! Hey, you know mate... I can bring her to your apartment too... How- how does that sound?"

"

Maya Fey:

"Love, I... uh, I was... wondering if I could speak to you in private."

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Boy does this sound familiar]

You found the power of love, good for you. Well, you either find a new way to live or you prepare yourself for disappointing the person you care about.

I didn't?

[Huh... he could've sworn he went for cake in Wheatley's room, but now that he thinks of it, he isn't really sure at all.]

...uh, what's up?

"No mate... you didn't. But that's not really that important!

You know why? Because you uh, know... a uh... a friend of mine, wait I don't really even want to call him a friend, but this associate of mine, looked to me for advice for setting up... himself with someone else who is NOT, and I said NOT my friend at all. A disastrous woman. Obviously human relations are really messy and uninteresting and overall really really really boring and I was wondering if you could tell me how they work."

[That was a mouthful.]

"Because... I don't know how they work and keep everyone at I know at a friendly distance. If you know what I mean..."

[He says that a bit stiffly.]

"LOVE? Love? Oho... nonononono mate, It's not... it's not love. I'm a cognitive genius who just haaaappened to become human due to- cause this castle's TERRIBLY BAD sense of humor. I don't exactly just... I can't fall in love? AI's don't fall in love, haha..."

[He sounds EXACTLY like a guy who fell in love. Help this guy.]

[:0! Aradia may not be a big romantic, but this sounds familiar.]

well i wouldnt call myself an expert on relationships
but it sounds to me like you might have found a moirail!

[HEY! A familiar voice, though he can't quite put his finger on who it is.]

"I'm-I'm sorry love... a what?"

[Wow, this is quite possibly the worst subject ever given to Haymitch to deal with. Give him a moment, he's trying to think of better advice than what he usually gives Peeta]

Right. Because it sounds like you're pretty screwed over with it, buddy. And humans? They tend to do the falling in love thing.

A problem...?

A disastrous woman who's not your friend?

[He's positive Wheatley's referring to the woman he himself had spoken with in the kitchen some time ago. She seemed adamant about her dislike of Wheatley and the chances of that being mutual are pretty strong. Still, he keeps his mouth shut for now.]

...you're asking me to tell you how relationships work?

[He barks a surprisingly hard little laugh at that before he can stop himself.]

I'm not going to be any help to you I don't think.

a moirail <>
for trolls it is one of the four cardinal relationships
basically moirails help to curb each others violent instincts
and to protect one another whether from outside threats or their own impulses

To the first part, yes.

The second, no.

Oh... sure! [random, but she's always excited to see a friend]

Where do you want to meet up?

[Hey, it's that guy... Wheatley was surprised he'd see the filter... then again, he didn't know too much about this guy.]

"Well..."

[he speaks a little bit more comfortably now, considering he knows he won't judge him.]

"Humans are really repulsive creatures mate. Better off dead. All of them. Or maybe as working test subjects for the sake of science... buuuut... you know I don't know... it's kind've like a conflict or something. I don't really know what to do with it. Being human. Hey, you said you're an AI too, right? Great iznit?"

[A pause.]

"I'd to anything to have it back. Could do without the morals at least. Make's my work here hard."

"...That's... a thing?"

[You can't see him but he's squinting at his journal. Alot."

"Uhhhhh, Anywhere really. My rooms a mess and I'd prefer it if you didn't come up here, but it's really important... uh, nonono, here better yet, I'll come to you love. Where are you?"

[He doesn't sound particularly happy. Noted.]

"Maybe more than just that... hey, is there a word that means problem... like really BIG problem, but... but has more UMPH than just... than just problem? Problem just sounds like... ohhh, I have a little issue that isn't really a big thing. It sounds... well, dumb. Reaaaaally dumb."

[He shuffles through a dictionary on the other side of the journal.]

"A CONGLOMERATE MESS. I like that. Though I may need you back here. As in now. A-Again."

"Oh but you areeee! I can tell you that for a fact. I'm sure you've uh... "bagged" a few catches in your time."

[WOW. He has no idea what that means. He only knows it cause that other guy said it once. He falls a little quieter.]

"Honestly mate, you're really my only chance in the matter. Friends depend on friends, don't they? Ehh? Besides, you're human. That's a plus."

[There is a groan on the other side of the journal.]

"Well, how do you undo that sort've thing? You're a human, mate, you should know"

Indeed.

However, I am not an AI... and the castle rarely let's us change ourselves too much, so you may be stuck that way.

Especially if it's your loss.

"Yeah I know. I-I'd still do whatever I can to outsmart this castle. Burn it to the ground if I could. But you know, human body and all."

[A lighter chuckle and a sigh.]

"It's definitely a loss. Say, what's your loss mate?"

[uh oh, she does notice that... and kind of feels a bit worried? she hopes he's okay :(]

I'm just hanging out in my room, so you can come right on over. [heh, best part about living across from each other]

"I'll be there in a minute! Aaaand by a minute I actually mean a few, so I uh..okay, I'll be there!"

[He should've just said a minute, cause literally 30 seconds later he was knocking on her door. He'd look a little unkempt, his tie was on backwards, his labcoat inside out, and one of his shoes wasn't on all the way. When she'd open the door he'd have this sort've goofy smile.]

"H-hello! Hey! Didn't think I'd see you here!"

[Trying to make a bad joke...]

Bagged a few... catches?

[Now he's really legitimately laughing.]

Wheatley, I haven't had a real date in three years.

[And that one wanted to kill him but hey, who's counting?

He doesn't really want to think about how pathetic he must be if the only thing he has going for him in the romance department is being human.]

"Well... uh, that's-"

[He clears his throat.]

"I'm sure they went great."

[He says that in this weird mutter. He's not particularly interested in Nick's romantic relations. At all. YAWN. But he still has this friendly tone about him that makes it seem like he's legitimately believing Phoenix had fantastic dates.]

Do I sound like a romantic advice sort of guy to you? I don't know, I don't think you can undo it. Unless you give it time.

Maybe call her...or him fat.

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1/009: Damage control! [Dated a few days later.]

Non-judgement filter forever

Wheatley

Nick

Thankyou for not judglng Wheatleyyyyyy.

no judgment here robobro

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[Voice]

Wheatley

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Non Judgmental Filter

Wheatley

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Re: Wheatley

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Wheatley

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Wheatley filter forever

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