[audio]

[knight_2000]

[The sound of fabric brushing over fabric can be heard, since the book is lying open in the room, picking up the ambient sounds. And the not-so-ambient sounds, as the person making them decides to start talking aloud, unaware of the fact he may have an audience]

Michael? Bonnie? [His own voice sounds sleepy, something that definitely gets his attention]

Michael? Bonnie? [And now it just sounds worried, because something is very definitely wrong here] What's going on? What in the world...? [More sounds of fabric rustling, as the realization kicks in that he's lying down in a bed. With legs. And arms. And hands. And a HEAD. Complete with a headache. He thinks?]

I don't. I don't. I don't understand. What is going on here? Michael! Bonnie! Anybody?

Comments

[sawyourwolfjunk]

[Why does that voice sound familiar. Vaguely. Like something she might have heard somewhere, but she just can't place it.]

Cool your jets, buddy-boy. You're good. Well, other than being kidnapped by a magic brain-castle.

[knight_2000]

[Her voice sounds vaguely familiar also, but at the moment he's a bit too overwhelmed by everything to place it. He's not convinced his microprocessor hasn't been compromised in some way]

I'm not good. I am most definitely NOT good. Are you the person who hacked into me? For what purpose? [Because this was all happening in his mind, right?]

[sawyourwolfjunk]

Hacked into? Dude, step out of the Matrix. Oh my god, wait... are you from the Matrix?

[knight_2000]

I'm from California. [Drily] Which you would have known had you hacked into me. So who are you? Are you working for someone?

[sawyourwolfjunk]

The Matrix is everywhere.

I'm Kenzi, and I work for no man.

Yet. I mean, I might have to work for someone soon, since I don't want to have my brains sucked out by the wishing castle.

[knight_2000]

If you insist. [Great. She was crazy]

Oh. Oh no. No no no no no no NO. Kenzi? As in, crazy-insane fairy girl Kenzi? Good grief, now I know there's something wrong here.

I don't want to hear anymore. You're insane.

[sawyourwolfjunk]

... KITT-KATT!? Is that you? Oh my god. Oh my god... where are you? Dude. I didn't know they could fit a car in these rooms. Are you outside? Where outside? Did you get a coffee maker installed yet?

[knight_2000]

Don't call me that. Ever. [More rustling sounds, as he's brought his HAND(!) tentatively to rub at his forehead. The headache is getting worse]

I don't know where I am. If I did, I don't think I'd tell you.

Kenzi. I'm not a car. I'm not a car. I don't know what's happening to me. Are you sure I haven't been hacked into? I can't not be a car. How can I have a coffee maker if I'm not a car? [He might actually sound scared. It's hard to keep his voice steady without his vocal modulator to flatten it out]

[sawyourwolfjunk]

Aww, Kittikins, don't worry. This place does a number on everyone. Though, I don't know about any cars not being cars anymore. I haven't quite gotten around to talking to everyone yet.

[She'd been busy trying to make sure she didn't inadvertently wish for anything]

So... if you're not a car, what are you? A stereo? A boat? A brand-spanking new laptop that I can totally not download porn on?

[knight_2000]

Don't call me that, either. [At least he can count on that little bit of familiarity, even if it's not completely welcome]

[He has no idea what happens if he wishes for something. He doesn't even know about wishing. Except to go home. That would be nice]

Nothing of the sort. I wouldn't allow you to download porn, anyway.

[He can't keep the desperation out of his voice]

I'm a human, Kenzi! A human! I don't even know what to do with myself! I don't know how this happened! I'm lying on a bed and I don't want to move! This can't be real. Someone's hacked into me, and they're using my memories to disorient me. That must be it.

[sawyourwolfjunk]

Whoa whoa, simmer down carface. No one's hacked into you. It's the castle. This place does some weird stuff, from what I've heard. Makes people related and makes you think you're married and junk. Fred and Wes say it's like losses. You forget stuff or lose something when you come here. I don't know what I've forgotten, if anything, but... uh... maybe your loss is your body?

[knight_2000]

Simmer down? Simmer down? When was the last YOU woke up in a body that wasn't yours? I never wanted to lose anything. I was perfectly content being who and what I was!

[sawyourwolfjunk]

For the record, I've totally done the body-swap thing before. Complete with someone else's junk in my pants, okay. So you just... shush.

[She's scowling at the book, finger pointed and everything]

No one has a choice, Kitt-Katt. We're yoinked here and stuck here until it feels like letting us go. You think I want to be here anymore than you do?

[knight_2000]

Oh. But you were still human, at least? I've never been human. Until now. I still don't think I am human. This is a virus. I just need to reverse engineer it.

[He still hasn't noticed the book]

I don't care. You're not really here anyway. And don't call me Shirley that.

[sawyourwolfjunk]

What room are you in, you grumpy carface. I'll come give you a pinch and see if you're real or not.

[knight_2000]

I have no idea. If you're so interested, you find me.

[sawyourwolfjunk]

[She picks up the book and scowls at it]

Go to your door and see what number's on it. You know, for a super-brain AI car dude, you're kinda dense.

[knight_2000]

That would require walking. I told you, I don't want to move!

[He sighs, carefully using the palms of his hands to sit up, slowly, then ease himself up off the bed. Is walking hard? Tires are so much easier. Four wheels, lower to the ground, wider body, entirely better center of gravity than spindly human legs trying to hold a body upright. Somehow, he manages to make it to the door, opening it to peer out at the number, which he announces to her. They already know where he is anyway, right?]

Shut up, Kenzi.

[sawyourwolfjunk]

You can sleep when you're dead, Kittikins.

[Grinning, she carries her book with her as she leaves her room, heading for his with an almost wicked sense of glee]

Such mean words. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, wait, wouldn't that be your mechanic?

[knight_2000]

I'm not sleeping. I've never walked before, Kenzi!

[This does not bode well]

My technician. And no. I've never kissed her. I've never kissed anyone. Do follow along. [He had to admit, it felt kind of good being the one to tell someone to shut up, rather than having it said to him]

[sawyourwolfjunk]

Well, hate to break it to you, carface, but you're going to be sleeping soon. And walking. And eating and all that other nifty human stuff.

[She reaches his room and gives it a sharp knock before just strolling in like she owns it. What? He knew she was coming]

Aww, biddy boo. Are you feeling jealous? [She grinned when she saw him, closing her book and tucking it in her back pocket. Then she went and gave him a tackle-hug]

[knight_2000]

Oh no. [He hadn't thought about any of THAT. Thanks, Kenzi!]

[He'd moved back to the bed, still unsteady on his feet, but he still whirled his head around to stare - no, to GLARE - at her]

Thanks for knocking.

Jealous? How or why on Earth would I be jealous? [He OOMPHED loudly as he fell backwards onto the bed with her on top of him. He was definitely NOT going to hug her back]

[sawyourwolfjunk]

Jealous that you've never gotten to do any lip-locking. Again, pretty dense for a genius, Kitt.

[She's beaming down at him, pleased beyond pleased to see him. Someone she knew (if only briefly) from home meant the world to her right now. And her smile was bright and sparkly and all for him]

So, this is you in people-form, huh? Not bad.

[knight_2000]

Again, why on Earth would I be jealous of something like that? That's something humans do, not cars. [Now who was dense?]

[He, on the other hand, is most most certainly not beaming at her, because. BECAUSE]

Car form was better, I'm sure. [He has no idea what he even looks like in this form]

[sawyourwolfjunk]

Oh, pff. I bet you've found some things worth revving your engine over, huh? C'mon...

[Doesn't matter, she's happy enough for the both of them.]

Hey, don't get me wrong. You're sexy as a car. But gotta say, Kitt-Katt, you're a tasty human morsel too.

You want a tour of the place?