xxv λ empty beds

[assassino]

---- Filter to Stephanie Brown and Molotov Cocktease ----

[written.]

I will make this brief. I am trying to be a better man, which I am sure will please both of you.

From this point on, I will no longer seduce:
I. Married women (save particular circumstances)
II. Women younger than sixteen
III. Prostitutes (save social occasions)

Punch me if I stray from these terms.

---------

Comments

filter foreverrrrrr

[secondchances]

Particular circumstances and social occasions, Ezio?

filtered forever

[molotov]

This is an obscenely stupid list. What if I just punch you on my own terms?

[assassino]

I won't tempt women away from their husbands, but they can leave of their own volition. That is better.

[assassino]

How is it stupid? I thought this was better.

[molotov]

You are still going to pursue married women. You are still going after young girls. And what social occasion can you possibly have with a prostitute, Ezio?

[secondchances]

It's a start. Baby steps, I guess.

Are you sure you want to be punched, though?

[assassino]

I am not going to pursue them, I am going to let them come to me. In my time, we [read: men] talk business in brothels, sometimes.

[assassino]

... well, perhaps I meant that part figuratively.

[molotov]

You should not be sleeping with married women at all! Leave them alone! And stop going into brothels. You have no business to discuss in them here.

Instead of some insipid list, why not just try sleeping with intelligent adult women who are available and also who are not selling their own bodies?

[secondchances]

We can go with literally. For your benefit, of course.

[She doesn't think she'd really punch him (at least not hard or in the face!), but she does have her doubts about Ezio sticking to this outline. But it's not like she's going to be asking for reports...]

[assassino]

If they hate their husbands, it is no fault of mine to sleep with them. And who knows, perhaps I will.

[Scowl]

I do sleep with those women. I just do not see fault in the others.

[assassino]

For my benefit. Of course.

[molotov]

It is your fault. If I have some money that you know I stole from someone needy, are you guiltless if you accept half of it? If married women hate their husbands, they should either work on their relationship or leave their marriage. Stop sleeping with them.

So now you understand why you shouldn't sleep with married women. You should not sleep with whores because that is both disgusting and a bad habit, and you shouldn't sleep with young women because that is despicable. What do you have to talk to a sixteen year old girl about? I would rather you sleep with whores than exploit some little girl's affections and leave her used and alone.

[secondchances]

[She clears her throat. She may have her doubts, but she can still be encouraging and supportive!]

Right. Anyway, I'm glad you're making an effort? [Whoops, how did that come out with a question mark at the end?] I know you're, uh, set in your ways.

[assassino]

Every time I ask why I should not sleep with prostitutes or courtesans, you just call them "disgusting" and a "bad habit", you do not explain why. These women have been my allies for over ten years. I could never think of them as disgusting.

[As individuals, sometimes they are disgusting, of course... but as a whole they are not so bad.]

You give them little credit. But fine, so what age is acceptable?

[assassino]

I thought it was the right thing to do.

[secondchances]

It's good! And you did it on your own, too. [Sorta.

She feels like she's praising a kid for cleaning up his room.]

I'm sure you won't disappoint.

[molotov]

They are disgusting because they are having sex with many people, and with questionable levels of safety involved. I refuse to believe that you have never even had crabs, because you come from a time before shampoo and tiny combs, and you are sleeping with women who sleep with countless other men of various hygienes. Besides that, you are paying to eat the same plate of food that hundreds of other men have been nibbling on. Why bother? They are a bad habit because you are throwing your money away on them, and you are also producing countless illegitimate little Auditores, all over the place. You felt bad enough about just the one you know of!

The general rule is half your age plus seven. So twenty-one or twenty-two.

[assassino]

Well, you and I have talked before.

[Pause, because Molotov is giving him shit.]

Should I make changes to these goals?

[secondchances]

Yeah, but I didn't think you'd make yourself an outline.

[A pause on her end, too.]

I'd maybe edit it to no married women at all, no girls under eighteen, and no prostitutes. I mean, if you're still in that "I need to find a nice girl" state of mind...

[assassino]

Women who have diseases are not permitted to work... Florence and Venice regulate prostitution, so while it is not ideal even at the best of times, it is at least better than anywhere else. That and I do not consider it money wasted when I know it is going to support them and their sisters in the bordellos. Besides, they could quit if they wanted. In Venice and Florence, at least.

And there are methods to avoid children. [Not that they've worked well...]

But what does it matter? I said I won't anymore.

[BUT UGH...]

How does that work in Paradisa, then? The age of the body, or the age of the mind? Stephanie is nineteen in body but older in mind... [Not that he's sleeping with her...]

[assassino]

[To be fair, he didn't think it'd be that complicated.]

Things are different in my time, but I recognize that I am mostly alone here... I am trying to make choices that satisfy the women of the future without straying too far from my own city's customs.

[secondchances]

Let's try this from another angle: all the women I've mentioned are off the table. What does that leave you with?

[Let's make the cup half full. Maybe this will be helpful!]

[assassino]

Here? Perhaps three or four women that I know so far, five including you, but we both know you are too good for me.

[molotov]

Oh, because your time is so advanced in their treatment and diagnoses of venereal disease. Or any disease. Have your people even gotten past blaming Satan for diseases yet? You are risking your own health for no reason. And let's just think about how the constant influence of prostitutes in your life is affecting your interactions with women. I will tell you: it is not good. And nyet, no, you said that you might stay away from them except for "social occasions", which I suspect is a loophole you plan to exploit extensively.

This is another loophole you are going after. Would you sleep with me if I were frozen in a little girl's body? Nyet. There is your answer -- age of the body.