Puzzle 003 - Ditacted

[tapshoetomove]

So I've got an important question for you, magic talking journal.

Does Santa still visit places you've been kidnapped to?

Comments

[squartatore]

You mean here?

[fangking]

Tch. If he really is as magic as they say, location shouldn't be an issue.

[shenunigans]

dude he better
i have been asking for that lego playset since dec 26th last year
santa always pulls through though
maybe hell bring me two lego playsets

anything youre holding out for buddy

[nihilo]

Santa is ever-present and all-knowing.

[ftssusstgsetfwe]

...Who?

[encryptedlock]

[confidently] Yep! I remember one year his reindeer got lost here and we had to return them in time so he could continue on his ride. Saw the big man myself.

[tapshoetomove]

Uh-huh! Since this place is all magical, can Santa still get here?

[tapshoetomove]

That's such a relief to here! I was worried he wouldn't be able to make it since this place is magical too.

[tapshoetomove]

A teddy-

[Luke stops, feeling a bit self-conscious. He really wants his stuffed bear back, but ugh that's such a little kid thing to ask for.

What do boys his age usually ask for...]

A train set. I want a train set.

[tapshoetomove]

So he even knows when you've been kidnapped to strange magical places? What if he gets attacked by monster birds?

[tapshoetomove]

Santa Clause!

[Who doesn't know about Santa??]

You know, jolly old bloke dressed in red who delivers presents on Christmas?

[tapshoetomove]

Oh wow, you actually got to meet his reindeer and Santa?! That's amazing! The closest I ever got to meeting him was when I was really little, I saw him putting presents under the tree.

I was afraid of saying anything because I thought I'd get in trouble.

[encryptedlock]

That's probably a good idea. Not that he'd get you in trouble, but they say if someone like that is surprised, they'll use their magic on you and you'll forget it ever happened.

I remembered this time, though. And we do get presents every year, if we're good. I got a car.

[squartatore]

I reckon the magic might make him more likely to show up, actually. Just like how the castle brought us in.

[shenunigans]

look bro
if santa doesnt get all up in your business with his sack full of toys
i will make it my personal mission to find you a teddy and shove it into your tiny little hands
sucks that this place is nabbing up the littlies as well
youd think theyd make christmas happen if thats the case
whatever
whats your name little dude

[fangking]

I don't see why that'd stop the fat fuck from getting here.

[ftssusstgsetfwe]

That sounds wonderful!

I've never heard of that.

[silentrunning]

[Hey have a scrawl in your journal.]

Who's Santa? I mean... tell me more about him? And... Um... What's Christmas?

[nihilo]

Santa has reindeers that spit out bullets, he also wields a mean machete.

[tapshoetomove]

A big jolly old fellow who wears red and delivers gifts to good children on Christmas! And uhm, he travels around the world in a sleigh with reindeer! And he has a toy workshop in the North Pole.

[Luke waits a few more seconds before thinking up a reply to Chell's second question.]

Christmas is a holiday you spend with your family and open presents. And you decorate a tree and eat lots of food and bake lots of cookies and tell Christmas stories. And your relatives are supposed to give you bad gifts like socks and pants.

[There you have it, the meaning of Christmas by a little boy.]

[silentrunning]

[Chell likes the sound of this Santa person. But she's still got more questions. But then, she's Chell. When doesn't she have questions? So she writes back.]

Is it only children he sends gifts to? Would he also send a gift to someone who has never ever had a Christmas, even if they're not a child? I'd like to meet him. He seems very nice. And if he goes everywhere, the likelihood is that he will make it here. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Hmm. A family. I don't have one of those. It sounds nice though.

[And she had seen his reply to someone else, about wanting a teddy. She wasn't sure what a teddy was, but if there was any way she could find one, she wanted to get this little fellow something too. He'd been incredibly nice to her, and someone's being nice is something Chell refuses to ever ever take for granted.

[OOC: Awwwww. Best description of Christmas I ever saw.]

[tapshoetomove]

Well that's a relief! I'd hate to think that Santa wouldn't be able to make it in time for Christmas.

That means I'll have to leave some cookies out for him.

[tapshoetomove]

That's not a very nice thing to say about Santa!

[tapshoetomove]

You'd really do that for me? Gosh, thank you so much!

It's um... [he thinks for a moment. What name did he pick out for himself again?] it's Clark!

[tapshoetomove]

Santa's reindeers don't spit out bullets!

...Do they?

[squartatore]

Cookies? [whoops, that tradition isn't really a thing where she comes from]

[nihilo]

How else does Santa live so long while trespassing millions of homes?

[shenunigans]

sure why not
its no big bud
im just hoping the big man in red makes an appearance
i have some things on my wish list too

sup clark
im dave

[tapshoetomove]

Mhm, Santa likes cookies and milk!

[tapshoetomove]

I hope so too. It'd be awful if he got lost or couldn't get here.

It's nice to meet you, Dave!

[tapshoetomove]

He doesn't trespass, he delivers gifts!

[tapshoetomove]

Really? You mean Santa never brought you presents?

[tapshoetomove]

Oh yeah, I wouldn't want to surprise Santa! I wish I could see him at least once though. You're really lucky you got a chance to see him!

[tapshoetomove]

Well, it's usually kids, but I guess if you haven't had a Christmas before then he'll probably send you some too!

[He frowns at that last part.]

You don't have a family?

[ftssusstgsetfwe]

I guess he couldn't find me...

[nihilo]

For which he trespasses.

[encryptedlock]

Well, I'd say just keep an eye open and be good this holiday season. You never know what's going to happen.

[squartatore]

This is news to me...did he tell you? [maybe somewhere out there is a world in which Santa has much more tangibility than she had thought?]

[shenunigans]

im pretty sure santa magic is the most powerful magic in the whole goddamn world little man
hes gonna make it or he aint getting any cookies thats for sure

nice to meet you too bro

[silentrunning]

[Chell writes back, explaining.]

No... I don't. Well, not that I can remember. I was told my parents abandoned me, but I don't believe that. I'm an Aperture Science test subject.

[Even after these months, that's still how