paradisa | ❀ one finale unicorn statue for my desk

(ooc: backdated to December 24th)

[Harmony is seated in the lobby, actual stationary on her lap, writing actual letters to different people. This year, for Christmas she's opted to be quite personal with her holiday sentiments. Anyone is welcome to visit her, to come spend a bit of time with her while she writes.]

Does anyone know if there's a better way to say that you trust them?

[She sighs, tapping her pen against the open journal, looking for the right words to use.]

Brock Samson,

Merry Christmas, Brock! I wasn't sure what to get you and honestly, I'm usually amazing at getting people gifts, but this year - after all of the weird backlash that came from wishes, I didn't really want to risk it. I mean, who is to say that you wouldn't end up with some crazy, debilitating disease where all your important appendages just fall off. I thought it was smarter to instead go with something from the heart, something that you can hold onto.

Which is why I'm going to give you the absolute best secret about women, I mean, you've come to me with a few problems with your wife and I really appreciated the chance to help you out. I like helping people. I think even though I mess it up sometimes, that it's something I could be really good at. Which is why I'm imparting this information with you.

1) She's not always right, but it's better if she thinks that she is. You'll get your moment to be right, but don't make a big deal about it.

2) Having alone time is just as important as having time together. If she needs space give it to her. If she wants to spend a quiet night alone, then spend a quiet night alone. It'll be okay.

3) Tell her you love her. As often as she'll let you.

That's it. I mean, it's probably not all right, but it's what I would want. I know I'm not a normal girl, but I think that these are simple things and ones that will make a difference. I'm really glad we're friends, Brock. I don't think this castle would be the same without you grumbling about how someone is going to split their head open if they're not careful.

~ Harmony

--

Fred Burkle,

I wanted to do something really special for you for Christmas. We're talking flashing lights and the giant tree, hot chocolate and handmade cookies, and those little tiny candy canes in the cellophane wrappers that they give out at banks and are always broken by the time you get home. All of that. To be honest, you're my second best friend. I really want to say you're my best friend, I do, but I think we both miss Cordy the same amount and we'd both say that she's our best friend. That's just how she was.

It doesn't mean I didn't want to do something on the best friend level for you. Huge. Bright lights, neon lights. Bright neon lights that blink and flash. I think that's the only thing neon lights can do, but anyway, you get the point. I wanted to do something amazing for you, but it's difficult to figure out what to get the smartest and most capable girl I know in the castle. You've done so much for me, that it's hard to even figure out how to even the scales.

Now, the only thing that I've been able to help you with - other than cooking - is that I've taken care of you when you've been unconscious. It's sort of creepy to say that though. So, I am going with the other side of things that I'm good at finding you clothing. Which is why, in the spare room I've taken the past few months to get a few things together for you. Every occasion that could come up, every party possibility, and I am being pretty thorough here, but you now have the perfect outfit for all of those times. All of them.

I even put in a dress for a wedding. Not yours.

Also a dress for a wedding. Yours. I know that you probably will want to pick it out for yourself, so I'm letting you know that I am not going to be offended if you come up to me in a few months and tell me it's time to get you a dress. I'll suggest the one I have already, because that's a waste, but if it's not perfect or if your boobs are bigger by some odd castle hijinks (or a miracle) I'll totally help you.

Fred, I trust you with everything so I want to make sure that you know that I do mean it. I also want you to know that ever since I met up with Cordelia in Los Angeles my life got put on its path and that path brought me to Wolfram and Hart, and to having a friend to have girl talk with at the bar, and it brought me here. Not many people can say that they know they're in the right place, but I know I am. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Merry Christmas, Fred.

~ Harmony

--

Steve Rogers,

This holiday I wanted to make sure you knew how important you are. I tried to think of how to get posters put up. You know, around the city like a bit of propaganda, but then I did some research and I guess they did that during the war. I am not really big on repeating things which is why you're getting a letter. This holiday I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I wanted to get people the perfect gifts, but starting with a letter seemed somewhat classier and you definitely deserve classier things.

Which is why I totally figured out the best present to give to you for the holiday. See, I remembered you telling me that you only recently learned how to dance and the thing is that in this place, there are parties all the time. Lots of them. I mean, I filled a whole room up with outfits for all the possible parties, so I know that there's going to be a time where you're going to need to dance.

If you're going to need to dance, you're going to need to be classy. (Plus, I think Fred will get married here.) Anyway, I have gotten you a very nice suit. It's modern enough, but still classy like the ones you might have seen when you're from. I almost got you a tuxedo, but I think that might be pushing it on the classy.

Anyway, you're a hero, Steve. Not just in the standard sense where you've saved the world and all that, but in the way that you've been there for people. You have, too and I don't think you realize it. Which is why I've decided to write you this letter. See, if it's written down, if it's there on paper, then it's a fact. Not a fact like the internet, because that is full of pages edited by the rest of the world, but I'm being honest here.

Steve Rogers, you are a hero.

You're my hero and the hero to countless others, I'm sure of it. I just wanted you to know it today, for Christmas.

Merry Christmas, to a real hero.

~ Harmony

--

[This letter is written in the journal, after all of the other letters. It's later in the evening, much later and she's had the time to ponder that previous question about trusting something. She's not sure if she actually thinks it will work, but she is willing to give it a try.]

Cair Paradisa ]

It's odd to write to a castle, but people have said they can talk to you, that they've heard you in their head. I've never thought to talk to you. Which is ironic, because I talk to everyone, or at least I try to. So, I'm talking to you now. I'm writing, actually, but it's the same. At least, I hope it's the same.

The thing is, I've been here for a long time now and I've heard about the things that happen back home. I've heard that I betray everyone, that Fred dies, that Cordy dies -- that I get my heart broken. Again. I have tried to do everything I can here to help out, but it's not enough. It's not enough to make up for the things I do to my friends back home. I shouldn't think about that, I know that, because it's not related. The whole time stopping or that time goes back to whatever happens when I get back.

It's just that I don't believe that anymore. It can't stop. It can't be waiting for me, because those things have already happened. They happened and there's nothing that I can do to fix it. I want to help people, I want to do what Cordy taught me, what she showed me about being a better person. Being here, being in the castle, I think I've done that.

A bit. I know I could do more, though and I was thinking about Christmas last year. To be honest, I think about last year a lot. I was really happy in Paris. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm not happy here and I'm not even sure if I can tell anyone that. Maybe I'm trusting you with it. I tried to think of a better word for that, because trusting a castle, trusting the thing that has put you through all the things that made me sad is a difficult thing to admit.

Every year for Christmas, you give us something, something from home. I don't want anything from the home in Los Angeles. I want something from Paris. I want the fake life you would give me if I said I would stay here forever. I want to be happy like I was then. I want to help people that come to that Paris, without even knowing who I was, because who I was isn't who I want to be.

I'm sure it's confusing, because most of the time a lot of people don't understand what I'm saying. I know that every morning I forget. Every morning forget that I'm a vampire and what I want for Christmas is to forget. I want to forget the young vampire girl with the horrible future where everything gets lost. I want to have Paris. I want to fall in love and I want to work at a boutique. The next time the castle comes to Paris, I want to be one of those people that helps them find the nearest bakery, because they know where it is.

It's selfish of me. It is, but my friends, they're stronger than I am. They're going to be fine and they have things here. They have people and I know that I can help. I know that I want to do better, that I want to be better.

That's what I want for Christmas.

You might not be real, you might not be able to give me this, but I thought that it never hurts to ask.

So this is me asking.

Merry Christmas, Cair Paradisa.

I wish I could call you my home.

~ Harmony Kendall.

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