paradisa | ☠ 053

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molotov cocktease

☠ 053

[Molotov is drunk and ornery. That's what happens when you find several of your most favorite weapons missing. All of her weapons are her most favorite. So filters are necessary.]

[(Broken filter) Brock Samson]
What the fuck did you do with my AKs? I am missing a 22 and a 47, plus two Berretta 92s and a Smith & Wesson 4006.

[(Broken filter) Ezio Auditore]
Your hands are still fucking tiny.

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[Laugh]

What's pissed you off tonight?

You and your stupid hands. And my guns are missing.

I had nothing to do with that, you know!

And my hands are fine.

I do not care, I am still mad. And your hands are still tiny. And so is every other part of you, I would bet.

Except your nose.

You are terribly fussy.

And I do not have tiny "anything." Your standards are just skewed terribly by your gigantic husband.

Ezio

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[mostly, he's been sitting back and watching the trainwreck, but somehow this? this is just sort of funny. and he can't help it. he's doped up on caffeine and snack food and secret-gathering. so there's obvious glee in his smart-ass voice when he says, simply:]

I ate 'em.

Fuck off, you.

Why? It's a free journal.

No one… no one was talking to you. Go kill yourself.

Huh, so if no one's talking to me, who's gonna go off themselves?

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1/3

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OK done

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Re: OK done

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What? Why the hell would I touch your dumb guns?

Because you are jealous and stupid and I love them more than you, that is why.

Look, if you want me to fuck you with a Glock or something, just say so.

I want you to give my guns back!

[She is yelling…]

Shut up. I don't have them.

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Broken filter to Brock!!!

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[dude, TMI]

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[Man, they don't make enough fuckin' popcorn in the world for this! And all this time he thought that Tex and him had a fucked up relationship.]

[But Mol, he has...paws]

Who's hands are tiny now?

Ezio's.

[Which comes out more like "Essyos". She's so drunk that she doesn't even notice that her filters have failed.]

...Right. Any reason you're telling us this?

Except for whatever it is you've been drinking.

I am not, I told it to Ezio.

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ACTIONS NAO

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YES GOOD

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That's quite an arsenal you have.

[Her voice sounds almost covetous, red headed assassins and their guns, OTP man, OTP.]

Da, it is the best in Paradisa.

[And then it clicks.]

You're the Molotov I've heard about, well this is a pleasure.

Da, it is a pleasure for you.

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