paradisa | xix. dictated, action

Entry tags:

lucrezia borgia

xix. dictated, action

Lana
How about an early morning ride?

Micheletto
You will help me with my crates. [ Because packing is tough. ]

Stephanie
Tell me if you mean to visit, even if not to see me. He would not find unexpected guests so pleasant.

What does it mean when the castle gave some no glimpse of old age?

[ Lucrezia is on her knees in the church in town, hands counting through her white rosary and reciting her prayers under her breath. She keeps her hood over her head.

It might seem foolish to believe that saying something over and over again gives it greater weight, or that time and voice can buy penance, but she feels she must at least-- try. She isn't praying for her own soul, she wonders if she would ever. But she loses count of how many times she has said the Ave Maria, and stands to go. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What changed, then?

I survived my brother's departure, did I not? I can walk away [ from you ] and be fine.

[She almost can't believe what she's hearing.]

If you wanted to [~~make her take Ezio's side~~] hurt my feelings, you're doing a pretty damn good job of it. Congratulations.

[ She takes a slow inhale. So what if Steph can hear her voice breaking? ]

No, you should offer me your condolence instead. I have lost what I meant to gain.

[She bites back a mean laugh.]

Seriously? By treating me like this? I think you might wanna rethink your approach.

[ Lucrezia can do that, a sneer and a disbelieving sigh. ]

And I never thought you cruel.

That's because I'm not. You're the one disregarding my concern, telling me you don't trust me, and then expecting me to just--go back to how we were. That is cruel. Cruel and selfish. You have no freakin' clue--[how much she's stressed over her, worried about her, gone out of her way to be SURE Ezio didn't do anything stupid, argued for her and her family to others--]

I don't deserve this.

[This is the crap she swore she'd never put up with ever again.]

[ She chokes back her sobs because who cares that she doesn't cry prettily? Her only thought is what if Cesare was wrong but he can't be. He can't be. ]

Do not visit without notice. I do not want you hurt.

[Steph's spent a long time controlling her rashness and hotheadedness. Paradisa's done wonders--she knows better most times, and picks and chooses her battles with more grace than ever.

Right now, though, it's like she can't retract her claws. She's not even trying to scramble up this slippery slope.]

Who's there for me to visit, Lucrezia?

[ If all her retreating still has Stephanie barking for blood, well, she has her own fangs to bare. Your replacement, she could say. Wouldn't that hurt? ]

Nessuno.

[ITALIAN JUST MAKES HER ANGRIER]

Do you have anything else to say?

The Florentine can tell you what that means while he gives you the knife meant for me.

[There it is.]

Okay, for one--Ezio would never, ever do anything like that to you. I'd bet my life on that. [The men in her family? Well...]

Secondly, for you to think that I would--that's more of a knife in the back than anything. Is that what your brother thought? He didn't know me. I was probably "the weird girl that spends too much time with Auditore and my sister." I've made it a point to keep you happy and safe, so why the hell would I do that?

[ She has heard that too often, mostly from Ezio, defending himself as he does. Keeping her happy and safe, he says, as if it was all to his credit. Theirs. ]

And after this, will you not go to him to share all my secrets? Like you did when I told you about the letter. All that you have learned from the Borgia. How convenient.

Is this all a secret? He needed to know about that letter. You know what Cristina meant to him, and I know it, because I was there for that conversation.

I'm not some spy of his. [That would be Lana, thankyouverymuch.] If he wanted to learn these secrets, he wouldn't even dare to ask me. He knows how I feel about you, and he's never made it some big issue like you have. [He's never made her feel like she has to choose.]

Because his quarrel with my father, his intention to harm my family. Small issues, of course, that I deserve to know less than he needed to know about a letter he could use as an excuse for his failed romance.

[This is where she plays dumb.]

He doesn't like the pope. I doubt he's the only person in Italy who feels that way, but Ezio didn't lift a finger against Cesare, did he?

There's not some crazy conspiracy going on here, Lucrezia.

[ There is always a crazy conspiracy when it comes to Italian politics. She at least knows that much. ]

It would not serve him well to deal the first strike. Why do you think he seeks Cesare's ire?