xix. dictated, action

[heloise]

Lana
How about an early morning ride?

Micheletto
You will help me with my crates. [ Because packing is tough. ]

Stephanie
Tell me if you mean to visit, even if not to see me. He would not find unexpected guests so pleasant.

What does it mean when the castle gave some no glimpse of old age?

[ Lucrezia is on her knees in the church in town, hands counting through her white rosary and reciting her prayers under her breath. She keeps her hood over her head.

It might seem foolish to believe that saying something over and over again gives it greater weight, or that time and voice can buy penance, but she feels she must at least-- try. She isn't praying for her own soul, she wonders if she would ever. But she loses count of how many times she has said the Ave Maria, and stands to go. ]

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[heloise]

[ But it is when she belongs to someone that she is the most free, as with her brother, her father, her lovers. She wields them like blades, though Joshua is a rare case of knowingly walking into her web. Maybe one day she can be brave enough to hear the reason.

Now she just turns, knowing that the grip around her neck will not hurt her, trying to catch a glance of his face. She reaches to brush her fingers against his chin. ]

They were never entirely mine to keep or to lose. [ What is left unsaid: unlike you. ]

[ofhope]

[ The hand that was against her neck now rests upon her shoulder, and Joshua tilts his head a bit to lean into her palm. His smile fades, though, a more somber air about him. It is hard not to be affected when she's so conflicted; so loud.

His only frustration is that he can't heal this type of pain. Sure, his powers can bring a sense of calm with them, but her worries would only return right after. ]

I won't tolerate them if they continue to upset you like this. You don't deserve it. If Stephanie Brown or anyone else has a problem, then they should come to me directly. Or does she think I wouldn't notice or care that you're hurt?

[heloise]

[ It would be so easy, a tip of her chin or even just the barest smile to acknowledge her approval (always unsaid of course), and whatever irritated her would be gone. Just like that. She tried that with Cesare and she thinks it isn't so farfetched to believe he may have done what she wanted him to.

But here they would just come back and what use is that to her? Guilt and an entire castle crying for blood. ]

Perhaps they will.

[ She still hopes so. Once they see, maybe, they will understand and everything would be back to the way it was. She takes a deep breath and smiles weakly instead. One too cheerful would not be believable. ]

Is it time yet for soda?

[ofhope]

[ His own smile returns then, though it's just an echo from earlier, existing to be pleasant and nothing more. His mind is elsewhere, because yet in his thoughts it's a simple solution. Kill the people who are making her unhappy, then she'll be happy, and the problem is solved.

But whatever Riful had done to make sure people stayed dead, she had not shared with Joshua before departing. Just one more tick on the list of reasons he wants to slowly gut her.

The images playing across his eyes have nothing to do with the beautiful maiden in front of him; they're too colored with screams and splashes of red. The smile remains, tone as distant as his gaze while he takes her hand and begins to walk. ]

No.

[ Distant, but firm. ]

The dress...and the tie first. You wanted blue.

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia hasn't yet learned the difference between his smiles yet, the ones that are real and the ones not quite. It must be his eyes, she thinks, they still seem kind even if his smile is meant for things less kindly. Even hers would be colder.

But she can hear when he is drifting away, so she holds his hand tight in case he forgets her. She moves to slip each of her fingers between his so he can't leave her so easily. ]

Yes, blue, the color of your eyes. A little darker than the sky.

[ofhope]

[ Which makes him glance up to the sky, clouded as it is, and wonder absently when spring will actually arrive. Will the castle try to have the residents clean up the snow again? He remembers, and then he doesn't. It's all jumbled, easily mistaken for a dream.

He does, he does get lost in his own head. That one consideration of killing annoying pests couldn't help but lead to why, to how, to why not, to Riful, to how he's in this ostracized position to begin with.

Still, it's not a dream, and it's deciphering that and trying to push back each shrieking banshee in his head one at a time. A slow process, but effective on good days like this. A bad day wouldn't just result in him strolling around town. ]

Will they like me if I wear blue? I just need to wear color?

[heloise]

[ That is where she wants to be, lost in her own lofty fantasies. She was there once, with her crown of pearls, unicorns and tigers in white, gallant princes with golden castles in the sky. Now they are as flimsy as clouds, gone before she can grasp her fingers around them.

Perhaps she envies him his flights of fancy. She squeezes his hand to let him know that she is here when he wants to come back. ]

You would be exceedingly handsome then. How could they resist you?

[ofhope]

[ It forces him to tip his head down, looking to their joined hands and her golden crown of hair. It makes his heart swell, something that doesn't go away just because he sees her face. He can't remember his sister's face, after all.

No, this is not her. This is not her.

His own grip tightens, and he tugs her closer to her side. He'll leave it up to her to look at shop windows and say if she finds something. ]

Yes... People are always judging by looks, aren't they? It was the same then.

[heloise]

Perhaps that was why they judged me wrong.

[ But ah, and there it is. Jackets that look just like his and white shirts too hung on the display. Those might be ties rolled up on the cabinets (or ribbons for bows) and then strips of leather with metal latches on the end. The strange things people wear...

She tugs lightly at his hand and starts walking toward the door with a giggle. She wouldn't snap him out of his thoughts entirely, that would be cruel, as long as he still follows her.

The store is vast but interrupted by tall shelves and headless mannequins standing almost in rows, dressed in suits of many colors. The store attendants are listless, standing about and fussing with how the goods are presented, but there are not many customers beside. And now, to find the tie... ]

[ofhope]

[ He follows the lilt of her laugh more than her guiding hand. If something as simple as this will bring her any joy, however shallow, who is he to dampen it? This had been his suggestion.

Looking at some of nearby blazers without much care, he stays near her, though letting go of her hand.

Because those cuff-links are shiny, and you have to pick up a shiny to really look at it. ]

Maybe...if they are that simple-minded. I guess getting you a dress that would fit into the 20's wouldn't help, then. But I would like it.

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia moves to one shelf to unroll a pink striped ribbon, tie. She turns over her shoulder to watch him with those shiny things. He should get those too. He should have the entire store. ]

If you would like it. [ Then yes.

But first, the tie! There are only a few blue ones that she found. One with diagonal stripes but a shade too light and a satin one that shimmers too much, and then a simple solid blue, a shade too dark.

She brings them over to hold up beside his face one by one, waiting to see his expression to each. ]

Would they be like the dress you gave me before?

[ofhope]

[ He looks up and holds still when he realizes what she's doing. Being forced to shop like this does help ground his thoughts, that's for certain, but does she expect him to pick? Naturally he leans towards the dark blue, but she might expect that, so he nods to the satin. ]

That dress wasn't for them.

[ The way he looks her up and down is unmistakable before he moves on to check out some yellow ties. Some aren't so offensive... ]

I wouldn't know what would satisfy your Stephanie or your Ezio. Maybe they just want you to wear a potato sack.

[heloise]

[ She knows what that looks like, Joshua... She bites back her grin and hands both the dark blue and the satin ones to the attendant anyway, because more is better. ]

Ezio would be satisfied with anything. [ Flippant, because surely the Florentine is infamous by now. ] While Stephanie, nothing.

[ She follows him to the yellow ties and picks up to fiddle with a bright one. ]

I should like it golden.

[ofhope]

They're just human. You can't expect them to make much sense, or try to think outside of their own prejudices...

[ Moving to the other side of the display table, Joshua finds what could be considered gold--a silk striped tie. It's expensive, but what does that matter to him?

After fiddling with his own tie, he slides it off and then pulls the gold tie on, eyes cast down as he crosses the ends and begins looping it through. ]

I don't know, it seems bright.

[heloise]

[ She should say, I'm human too. But she is a Borgia and they are more than that if only by aspiration. They would claw and climb their way up until they are like the caesars of old, the Roman gods.

The loop seems complicated, but she watches carefully to learn. Maybe one day she could surprise him. ]

It should be. I should not like to outshine you in my new dress.

[ofhope]

[ Doing this on his own is irritating, even now he misses Fiore's constant assistance. Joshua never had to worry about clothes or anything, and he barely cares now. But he knows how, especially on his good days, so he tightens it up in no time, smoothing his collar back down and looking for a mirror. ]

I thought that was the woman's job, anyway. You're supposed to shine like the sun. The men are like the moon, just there to reflect more of the woman's glory.

[ Where had he read that? He can't even remember. ]

[heloise]

How gallant.

[ She finds the mirror first, starting to walk toward it and sparing him a glance to follow. A full-length one too, which has her halting for a moment to bask in how large and clear it is. ]

Is it reflecting my hair yet?

[ofhope]

[ It's undeniably cute, watching her check herself out in the mirror. Walking over, he appraises the tie for a moment before looking to her reflection in the mirror, his returned smile now more pointed. ]

Enough to blind the store. But then, the sun takes it's pointers from you.

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia watches him through the mirror, her smile hesitant but bright, and she reaches a hand to hold his arm as if the image might steal her away if she isn't careful. But his comment brings her back and she turns to face the real him with a stilted laugh.

She so isn't blushing, that's just trick of the light! ]

Then you must never worry over outshining me.

[ofhope]

[ He gives an exaggerated 'hm' of thought, as if trying to think of a way to accomplish that while he reaches up to stroke her cheek. In terms of literally outshining, he could with powers, but that would be cheating, and is not exactly the point. ]

Worrying is something I don't do when with you, so we're safe.

[heloise]

[ She leans into his touch, dropping her eyes to the tie so she can fiddle and straighten it, as she does with his suit too. The black only makes the gold shine brighter. ]

I would call you Apollo, the greatest of them.

[ofhope]

Apollo had a sister, didn't he?

[ Of course, as he recalls, Apollo references the sun and Artemis the moon. Still, the smirk is there as he tweaks just under her chin. ]

A huntress.

[heloise]

Diana. With her bow and arrow.

[ The Greeks call her Artemis. The gods have many names and they are all sacred but her most of all. ]

[ofhope]

Maybe not something you want to wear to dancing.

[ He can't help but tease, though the comparison seems apt. He'd called her a huntress once, though now he's less eager to send her after trophies just for the fun of the stories afterward.

Reminding himself of dancing also reminds him of the dress, so he reaches up to begin tugging the tie off. All she wanted was a tie, right... ]

Tie shopping is easy, I think. Are we done here?

[heloise]

Her worshipers wear saffron.

[ Lucrezia could tell him about how Diana captured six golden-horned deers for her chariot once, and thought perhaps she should have kept those antlers and gave it to him for safekeeping instead. She could always take them back.

She nods and goes to take the other two blue ties from the attendant, then look to Joshua. Are we paying or what...? ]