[04] Dictated

[brohoof]

So I guess it's high time I came out of the hole I've been living in for the past month or so. S'up, Para. Bet you thought I wasn't around anymore, huh? Sorry to disappoint. But can we all at least agree one one thing? The month of February is by far the worst month to ever have the audacity to become a month. A shitty month in a shitty castle, I shouldn't actually be surprised. Glad it's fuckin' over, though. As if March is any better, though. As if any month is actually good in this shithole.

Am I bitter? You bet your ass I am.

Anyway, doesn't matter. Bitching ain't gonna change a god damn thing, so why bother? That's probably what this castle wants anyway. Me to bitch about my abysmal existence just to feed it's weird angst fetish. I would probably be better off just going back into my self-made exile just so I wouldn't be playing into the castle's hand.

But I'm not going to. You're stuck with me. And so for any new arrivals that have come since I went AWOL, yo. My name's Dirk motherfuckin' Strider.

[Jane]

So he's gone.
I guess that whole ordeal was pretty fuckin' pointless, wasn't it?
Well I mean sure we solved our petty problems and became better people for it, but for what?
From where I'm standing, it seems like the whole thing was for nothing now that he's not here anymore.
Maybe you should just have first fuckin' dibs on the next Jake that decides to show his ass up.
I mean you already gave me dibs on the last one, and we see how god damn well that went.
Start a pattern up in here.
I get one, you get the next and so forth and so on.
Because obviously this place can't keep a goddamn English for more than a few weeks, if previous experience is anything to go on.

Comments

[shenunigans]

[brohoof]

Excuse me while I lay here and soak up the golden rays of your warm welcome.
Never have I received something as touching as this.
Thank you, truly.

[shenunigans]

take your time
theres a hell of a lot to soak in

[brohoof]

We could be here all day, y'know.
But no seriously, what the fuck have you been up to?
I hope your February was better than mine.
If that's actually a thing that is even possible.
Did anyone actually have a good February?

[shenunigans]

sure could
uh
probably too much to go into detail
ive been around
doing things here and there
the usual
[Which is to say he hasn't worn more than boxers for almost a month because he's hardly left his room.]
i had a fanfuckingtastic february

/dictated

[hard_talker]

Dude, exile is right out, they love that shit too. They take it as a giant red flag to turn you into ridiculous shit so everyone else can point and laugh. [he chuckles, dryly]

Y'can be as bitter as you want, man, just ... don't give up, yeah?

/dictated

[brohoof]

I have no intention of giving up. I just needed a break for a while, but I'm back and bitter as ever. Though it is good to know that even in my exile I've met the monthly emotion quota for this place. I wonder, if I just turned off all feeling, would it get tired and kick me out? I have been looking into ways to do that.

Y'know, purely for scientific reasons.

[hard_talker]

Science is a rad thing to pursue, man, I will give you that. ... But I don't think so, we've got people here who'll take naps for months and still be around to wake up. Shit like that.

[brohoof]

Damn it, thwarted again. I'm hardly surprised though.

So yeah, that said. What the hell have you been up to? Been a while since we talked. I keep track of your weekly posts and shit, even if I don't always say anything. Had a lot of my mind, not a lot to actually say.
I'm sure you understand.

[hard_talker]

Me? Oh, doin' what I do best: keepin' an eye on the shit that goes down. And learning how to beat things up with a big heavy stick.

But no, it's cool. I like knowin' people are listening. Means I'm not wastin' all this hot air.

[psych0p0mps]

hello dirk motherfuckin strider
although thats kind of long so ill just call you dirk for short

[brohoof]

Hello, maroon motherfuckin' text person.
Whose name I either can't remember right now, or never got.
That's long too, so I'll just call you maroon for short.

[psych0p0mps]

or you could call me aradia :p

[well i didn't know you were called Dennis!]

[brohoof]

Aradia works too.
But maroon is so very fitting, I'm torn.
Nah I'm kidding though, how's it going, Aradia?

[psych0p0mps]

hehe pretty well cant complain
one friend was sent away but another one returned
nothing really out of the ordinary
im not all old and creaky anymore so thats a plus

[nukeoleptic]

dirk strider?

[brohoof]

Dirk motherfuckin' Strider*.

Yeah it's me, what's up, neon green?

[nukeoleptic]

oh yes excuse me, that was very silly of me to leave that out
dirk motherfuckin' strider!!
hehe
it is nice to finally meet you!

[brohoof]

Alright, so I'm going to make the assumption that you're somebody I'm actually supposed to know.
Or will eventually know.
Which leads me to conclude that you've gotta be from Dave's session, right?
So yeah, nice to meet you too.
What's your name?
Only fair, considering you just learned my full name.
I don't give my middle name out often, you should feel honored.
Even if I did give it to everyone today.
Shhh.

[nukeoleptic]

rofl
yes, i am jade harley
dave and i go way back :p
i have actually heard a lot about you from jake!
or i did, at least, back when we were penpals

Dirk

[cyan_maid]

Jake's gone?
Ugh, I didn't even realize he'd left again! I've been an old lady for the past week...
Of course he would leave, though. Of course.

Oh no you don't, Dirk Strider. Don't you start with that!
I made my decision and it doesn't matter if one hundred Jakes traipse in here right this very minute! I won't have anything to do with romantic kanoodling with any of them!
So, he's not here. That doesn't mean I don't want to change.
It would be pretty foolish to back out of it now.

Still, it's good to hear that you're not going to hide yourself away.
If it's not too weird of me to ask, I was actually wondering about something fun you could come to.

Jane

[brohoof]

Yeah, he is. I didn't notice either, on account of the fact that I was too busy thinking about what kind of move to make after our discussion.
Looks like I was a little fuckin' late there.

Figured you might say somethin' like that. I don't think it'd be foolish to back out of it. It's called getting what you want.
But I'm sorry, I'll quit with the bitter douchebag act.
It just fuckin' sucks, losing him after wading through waist deep rivers of angst and feelings until finally we've reached the shallow end and actually got it resolved.
And then nothing.
It hardly feels the self improvement is actually worth it when there's nothing gained from it.

What have you got in mind? If this is some baking party or something, I'm going to have to politely decline.

Dirk

[cyan_maid]

Well, you wouldn't be the first.
When he first came and went, I...tried to find him myself, to talk to him, because he'd only said something once and then I hadn't seen him again.
But I was too late.
So I do know how it feels.

Well...
What if there's something to gain later?
That's what I try to think about.

Oh geez, I don't think I'll ever be fit for a baking party.
No, it's got nothing to do with cake. Some people around our age were thinking about throwing a movie night in the theater soon.
I don't know how many people you've met here, but it couldn't hurt to get to know them better, could it?

Jane

[brohoof]

I have to call bullshit on this whole thing.
Being elusive is supposed to be my schtick, he isn't allowed to steal it.
He needs to fuckin' come back and return it.

I guess so.
You're more optimistic than I am.

Is this your subtle way of saying that I need to make friends, Jane?

Dirk

[cyan_maid]

He's terrible at it, I agree.

I'm trying to be! You have to try, here.
It can get sad so quickly, but I'm certain that's what the castle wants more than anything.

What? Would you rather I be blunt?