River Tam (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
littlesoul) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
paradisa2013-03-13 07:42 pm
littlesoul) wrote in paradisa2013-03-13 07:42 pm
001
[She's perched on the highest spot she can find in the lobby, her journal clutched against her chest. This isn't anything like she's used to, nothing feels familiar. Her heart is beating hard in her chest and her hands want to start shaking.
Her mind is racing, filled with the thoughts of so many people around her. The night before, she had achieved some kind of calm, she remembered that, but now, with this new, strange turn of events, she's falling again, lost amidst the sea of thoughts around her.
She scribbles in her journal at a feverish pace, the words small and pushed together as she tries to hold back panic.]
Lost.
Lost, lost, lost, lost.
Fell into the black and landed here. Fell and fell and fell until I hit the ground. I can't remember how to get back, too lost to see clearly.
Can someone pick her up again? Can someone put her back where she belongs?
Too loud.
Can't go high enough, can't find a way out, can't find anything that I want.
Ship, she needs a ship again. She needs the sky.
Her mind is racing, filled with the thoughts of so many people around her. The night before, she had achieved some kind of calm, she remembered that, but now, with this new, strange turn of events, she's falling again, lost amidst the sea of thoughts around her.
She scribbles in her journal at a feverish pace, the words small and pushed together as she tries to hold back panic.]
Lost.
Lost, lost, lost, lost.
Fell into the black and landed here. Fell and fell and fell until I hit the ground. I can't remember how to get back, too lost to see clearly.
Can someone pick her up again? Can someone put her back where she belongs?
Too loud.
Can't go high enough, can't find a way out, can't find anything that I want.
Ship, she needs a ship again. She needs the sky.
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[Then she reconsiders and adds.] Lobby. River is in the lobby.
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River. That's a pretty name. I'll look for you, River. I'm Jennifer.
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She spies Jennifer, watching her for a few beats until she's close enough that River can leap down and land in front of her
She doesn't say anything, just stares, taking in the woman, noting all the differences between her and Kaylee.]
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[Jennifer was startled at the girl's sudden appearance, but quickly settles down, realizing that the close scrutinizing means this can only be River.]
So. Does it feel strange looking at me yet? [She smiles, showing that she's only teasing.]
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Different, not strange. [She wants to reach out, to touch her but she holds back.] You're not her, she's not you. See it in your head, see it in your heart. I know the difference, even if the face is the same.
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Not your fault you're not her. You're you and that's all right.
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I've been appreciating who I am more and more lately. Spending a week as a turtle will do that for a person.
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Turtle?
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Does it ask permission?
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I don't want it to be rude to me.
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It is pretty rude, isn't it? Maybe you'll be lucky and never have it happen to you.
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[Which is a lie, she can't even take care of herself but she can try and it's the offer that counts, isn't it?]
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[Jennifer hesitates, then pulls River into a hug, purely on instinct.]
You take care otherwise, okay? And know that you're never alone here.
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Stay safe.
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[She finally lets go of River's hand and steps back, smiling encouragingly.]
Go explore. I'll talk to you again some time, I'm sure.