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[littlesoul]

[She's perched on the highest spot she can find in the lobby, her journal clutched against her chest. This isn't anything like she's used to, nothing feels familiar. Her heart is beating hard in her chest and her hands want to start shaking.

Her mind is racing, filled with the thoughts of so many people around her. The night before, she had achieved some kind of calm, she remembered that, but now, with this new, strange turn of events, she's falling again, lost amidst the sea of thoughts around her.

She scribbles in her journal at a feverish pace, the words small and pushed together as she tries to hold back panic.]

Lost.

Lost, lost, lost, lost.

Fell into the black and landed here. Fell and fell and fell until I hit the ground. I can't remember how to get back, too lost to see clearly.

Can someone pick her up again? Can someone put her back where she belongs?

Too loud.

Can't go high enough, can't find a way out, can't find anything that I want.

Ship, she needs a ship again. She needs the sky.

Comments

[spongetastic]

I'm sorry, River, but it won't give them back to you. [he says this as gently as he can] You will get it back when you go home.

[littlesoul]

[She's torn between crying and lashing out, and, for a moment, her body is tensing up to do the latter. But something cracks, something tells he that she shouldn't and she feels herself crumble.]

Go in her mind and take away the pieces. Everywhere she goes, someone's inside her, tearing her down and building her up again. Turn her inside out and into something new.

[spongetastic]

[he just holds onto her, knowing that won't do much to keep her from breaking apart but wanting to give her some stability anyway. He rubs her shoulders, focusing on soothing thoughts]

I'm sorry. I wish I could put those pieces back together, but all I can give you are new pieces.

[littlesoul]

[SHe clings tight, trying hard not to start screaming. She knows it won't do anything but she feels herself begin to shake nonetheless.

She doesn't want this, doesn't want things in her head, doesn't want people taking out more than she's already lost.]

new pieces, new pieces wont' fit the way the old ones do. new pieces just add ore, don't fill in the spaces.

[spongetastic]

[this worry and helplessness he's feeling is not good]

I know. I know...

[littlesoul]

[And she's sorry, oh she's so sorry but she can't help it, can't push back the emotions, the breaking. She's trying, she wants to, but she's not capable of it.

She clings tight and cries, wishing for something, for whatever it was that she lost to come back. She wishes for her ship and her crew and for the missing piece in her brain to come back ad she wishes she was a child again and she wishes she never went away at all and she wishes...she wishes...

she wishes her head would stop racing and she would be able to relax.]

Falling again, falling again. Falling into all the places she doesn't need to go.

[spongetastic]

[there's nothing he can think of to do for her. Even shielding her with his mind won't do any good, because she'll have to face all of this eventually. There's nothing he can say, so he'll just keep rubbing her]

[littlesoul]

[Eventually she'll tire, slumping against him and breathing hard. Losing herself is exhausting and she can feel weariness replace panic.]

Nothing stays the same. Sustainable is not a word humans have the capability of emulating within themselves.

[spongetastic]

True. For now, can I take you to your room? You should get some rest.

[littlesoul]

[She nods but doesn't let go, not yet. She's not ready to say goodbye to him, not ready to be alone and have to face the world by herself.]

[spongetastic]

Um. [a soft laugh] Did you want me to carry you?

[littlesoul]

She laughs, not an honest sound but a laugh all the same.] No. Just... <[The words get tangled in her throat and instead she untangles herself from him, getting her her feet carefully and holding out a hand.]

[spongetastic]

[he wouldn't have minded. But since she offered a hand he will take it and use it to guide her up to her room, wherever it is]

[littlesoul]

[She lets herself be guided, looking around and feeling the Need to run. She wants to get to know the castle if she's going to be staying here, wants to run and jump and feel the ground underneath her feet. She holds back though, waits to see where the safe spots are before she goes running]

Stay with me? For a while? She's not going to ask him to stay with her for a long time, just a bit, until she can manage to fall into a fitful sleep. Until....until she can wake up and face the day again.]

[spongetastic]

For a while. [he squeezes her hand gently. He finally finds her room after a while, opening the door for her so she can go inside]

[littlesoul]

{She'll take it and, i an attempt to show her how grateful she is, she lets her eyes fall shut, pushing back all the dark, frightened thoughts and trying instead to make her mind nothing but warmth, comfort and relief.

Entering the room, she studies it, her hands moving to touch the walls, the bed, everything. She turns, looking to Peter.] Mine?

[spongetastic]

Yes, it's yours. I know it doesn't look like home now, but it will. [because the room will change to however River likes it] You should get some rest now.

[littlesoul]

She nods, considering where to go ad decides to slide under the bed. it's dark and quiet and no one will ow she's there besides Peter, which seems like a safe idea.]

Thank you. For everything.

[spongetastic]

You're welcome. Sleep well, River. I'll see you later. [he's going to back out of the room and let her rest now]