paradisa | 001

[She's perched on the highest spot she can find in the lobby, her journal clutched against her chest. This isn't anything like she's used to, nothing feels familiar. Her heart is beating hard in her chest and her hands want to start shaking.

Her mind is racing, filled with the thoughts of so many people around her. The night before, she had achieved some kind of calm, she remembered that, but now, with this new, strange turn of events, she's falling again, lost amidst the sea of thoughts around her.

She scribbles in her journal at a feverish pace, the words small and pushed together as she tries to hold back panic.]

Lost.

Lost, lost, lost, lost.

Fell into the black and landed here. Fell and fell and fell until I hit the ground. I can't remember how to get back, too lost to see clearly.

Can someone pick her up again? Can someone put her back where she belongs?

Too loud.

Can't go high enough, can't find a way out, can't find anything that I want.

Ship, she needs a ship again. She needs the sky.

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[She waits although, one wouldn't exactly call it patiently. She fidgets with the journal, turning the pages back and forth, watching the words blur and occasionally looking around, keeping an eye out for Katniss.

Upon feeling a new mind enter the fray of the lobby, she tenses a little before relaxing. One more voice in her head doesn't bother her that much and when she realizes that Katniss is going to join her way above the world, she actually smiles.

Moving to one side sot he other girl has room, she waves, not saying anything but obviously looking pleased.]

[Katniss climbed up into the rafters, balancing herself in the space that the girl had cleared out for her. She grinned back, settling herself in and looking around.]

Wish I had thought of this. Perfect vantage point to watch everyone, and be alone.

[Grey eyes considered the other girl, not much older than herself.] I'm Katniss.

[She nods, staring out into the word, into the new place she's supposed to call home. It's too loud in here all the same, too crowded for her taste but the rafters provide safety, they provide a break from the physical and while the mental crowding is still there, it's not as bad when that's the only thing she has to focus on.]

River. She smiles] It's a good place, safe.

I can see that. No one can get you, up high. Not unless they've got good aim. And few people do.

[People seemed to think shooting broadly counting as good shooting. Which, sadly, it did not. She leaned back against the rafter, doing sight-line shots. Then something triggered.] River ... are you River Tam?

She blinks, nodding her head and studies the other girl. She wasn't expecting to be recognized here, not by anyone.]

[Katniss tilted her head, before she pursed her lips.] Do you have a brother named Simon?

[River frowns, shaking her head.] No, maybe. Don't,..know. She shakes her head, blinking.] There's a ghost of a brother somewhere but she's lost his name, lost is face.

[She frowned in turn, before her eyebrows raise together.] Oh ... they took him away from you ... bastards.

[She shook her head, angry for Simon and angry for River, before she lifted her gaze, eyes firm.] If you don't remember him, then you should know this. He loves you. Loves you more than anything in this world or yours.

<[She closes her eyes, feeling the influx of emotion and trying her best to sort it out. However, mixed with her own frustrations, she only finds herself with shaking hands]

My brother loved me. I don't know if this man will. [Opening her eyes again, she studies Katniss.] Wishes can't always be granted.

[She frowned at those shaking hands - she knows them only too well - and she shifts a little closer to the girl. Offering silent support.]

Maybe not. I've never had many that have come true. But I know one thing - the love between siblings never fails. [Not between her and Prim.]

[She appreciates the show of support, her eyes closing as she forces herself to breath, slow calm breaths. She leans a little on Katniss, something she wasn't planing on doing does nonetheless.

She knows that love is power and she had that once, had the love of someone close to her,, someone who was willing to put everything on the line for her, she just...lost the focus. She can see the picture but not the details. She misses those, misses the sharper image.

She moves, looking at Katniss for a long moment before nodding] Never falters until someone forgets. [Because, if they're willing to go into her brain and take out something this dear to her, who says that Simon might not lose who she was? Who says that his memory is off limits to whatever strangeness occupies the world they live in ow?]

[Katniss's eyebrows lift in surprise - she didn't expect that - but she so often doesn't expect warmth and kindness. Yet she keeps being surrounded by it. So she edges closer, so River can feel the warmth.]

[She pressed her lips together at River's comment.] You can take it from someone's mind. You can never take it from their heart. Trust me. I know. They took me away from the man who loved me - but he fought them. He came back. He loved me ... still. And always.

[She nods, unsure of what to say for a minute. She's left with hope, with a promise that things might be better than she thinks. It's a nice feeling, one that she wants to curl up in and blanket herself with. Hope is sometimes hard to come by, it's a commodity and she wants to savor it while she ca.]

Keep trying to fill the hole sad nothing's there. I know the spots are empty but I can't find the right pieces. [She sighs, closing her eyes.] Maybe other people have to fill them.

Maybe. I know other people had to fill Peeta. [She looked over at the other girl, grey eyes quiet, before she tugged on her braid.] You could just ask people to fill you in with the memories that Simon's shared with us. So you know they're true.

[She nods her head.] I'll see them, see them in him when I find him again. I'll know what he knows, if he remembers me.

He remembers you. He remembers the hell out of you, River. [Here, her voice is soft and a little sad.]

[She nods. I know. I'll feel it then.. Won't be the same but it will be something.

Sometimes it's not the same. [She pushed back her dark hair, a faint smile on her face.] But ... sometimes it's better. Because then you really know it's real, and not just in your own head.

[She nods, smiling back.] Put the pieces together in new ways. You'll see the picture differently but know it's real

001

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