Twenty-Sixth House of Westeros ♛ Written ♛ Stone Is a Mountain's Daughter

[songsandstories]

[The sound of her own voice betraying her is enough for her to switch this to writing. Her penmanship is as neat as ever despiter her nerves.]

A peculiar feeling has come over me since waking. I am not sure what it is, but it does not do me well. I cannot name it, and it is no ailment to warrant a maester. I am not ill--

It seems I have a need to say whatever it is in my head. [It has not yet been so bad to reveal any harbored truths.]

I'm afraid I told a young woman her dress looked ugly. How strange.

Comments

[songsandstories]

If that's what it is, yes. [More than Lucrezia would know.]

[heloise]

What will you do?

[songsandstories]

Seek solace either by myself or with others. [Her mother, maybe Gale.]

[heloise]

Others that you can trust with everything?

[songsandstories]

You can trust none with everything.

[heloise]

You have yet to find the right person.

[songsandstories]

I have met enough to know. [She's misplaced her trust in a queen and her son once. As much as she would have liked to trust Tyrion, that was never to be. They made her a Lannister and that went her trust. It's still hard to trust Petyr, but he saved her. Perhaps that's the difference.]

[heloise]

You can trust the ones who own you, or believe they do.

[songsandstories]

You can trust them even less. [Being a captive once, she could never imagine trusting any in King's Landing again. It's their power play, their game.

I never asked to play.]

[heloise]

Perhaps because you do not own them in return.

[songsandstories]

Why would I wish to own any?

[heloise]

Because then you will have some you can trust.

[songsandstories]

I think it not possible. And mayhaps it is better to not trust.

[heloise]

It is no life worth the living when alone.

[songsandstories]

At least I can say I am alive when so many are not.

[heloise]

I would rather not live at all.

[songsandstories]

Then we are different it seems. [She's had to lie and play as well as any other to survive. She doesn't know any other way to be, and trusting makes who she is, who she really is all the more painful.]

[heloise]

So it seems.

[ She can take beatings and betrayal, but heartbreak is more painful than the blackest of bruises. ]

[songsandstories]

[She's lost too much, to had her heartbroken in enough cruel ways. How she's managing is still a wonder.]

At least you are not lonely, Lucrezia. Enjoy it for the both of us.

[heloise]

Are you lonely? We must remedy that immediately.

[songsandstories]

I am always lonely. [It is a question she is forced to answer, and it only hurts all the more to say it.]

[heloise]

Have you no family? You mentioned a father.

[songsandstories]

I do, and he isn't here.

[heloise]

Even so. Were you lonely even with him?

[songsandstories]

The Eyrie is a lonely place, but his presence eased my nerves. [Petyr always has an answer at least. In that, there's at least a calmness that she hasn't had here. But pretending hasn't changed anything save that when she is Alayne she does not have to think of Sansa's life. It's separated, but just as lonely here.]