Twenty Five Spoons {Accidentally Dictated}

[cyan_maid]

[The journal falls open to the sound of chipper humming and stirring.]

There we go...I'll just leave these out and see who takes the bait! Hoo hoo, just imagine their faces when they take a bite of these and get the completely wrong flavor! [A pause.] Oh gosh, I hope nobody thinks the nut free sign is a prank. That's the most honest thing here!

[There's a bit more stirring, and the humming turns to a tune that's a bit more...fanciful? And then a voice floats in. As it sings, it seems to veer closer to and farther from the journal, like the subject might be indulging the whims of the music.]

♪We've just been introduced,
I do not know you well,
But when the music started something drew me to your side.
So many men and girls
Are in each other's arms
It made me think
We might be
Similarly occupied...

Shall we dance?
On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Shall we dance?
Shall we then say goodnight and mean goodbye?
Or perchance,
When the last little star has left the sky,
Shall we still be together with our arms around each other
And shall you be my new romance?

On the clear understanding that this kind of thing can happen,
Shall we dance,
Shall we dance,
Shall we dance?♪

[The tune continues on, the singer unaware of the still-open journal. Would you like to speak up, or surprise her in the kitchen and take her up on that offer to dance?]

Comments

[theabjectauthor]

No... One year, there was a leak in the roof, and our dancing classes had to be relocated.

[cyan_maid]

Oh, is that why? [She grins.] It's still interesting, though! Life really is funny that way, hoo hoo!

[theabjectauthor]

It is, yes - one never knows what might happen. The trick is not necessarily, as the Boy Scouts of America would say, to be prepared ... but instead to be able to adapt to it with the resources that one has.

[cyan_maid]

[She nods.] Agreed! Very much agreed.

[Oh goodness, what do they talk about now? Her eyes slide over to those tricky sweets she's working on...Oh Jane, no, he's like your ParaDad, you don't really want to prank him, do you?]

[theabjectauthor]

So, before the urge to sing struck you, what were you up to?

[he smiles, looking around the kitchen curiously. PRANK HIM, DO IT.]

There are edible things under the cream I promise, just not jam or sweet things or peanuts.

[cyan_maid]

[...Alright. SHE'LL DO IT.]

Well, I was making some sweets! Would you like to try one?

[She picks up and presents the tray of tricky sweets! They seem to be little tarts with graham cracker crust and filled with cream...]

ohoho

[theabjectauthor]

I will always gladly sample whatever you've concocted. [he takes one, eagerly, and looks it over]

They're lovely. Thank you. [he takes out his handkerchief first, as he doesn't want to get graham crumbs all over the floor when he takes his first bite]

Hoo hoo hoo

[cyan_maid]

[She's grinning, but it very well could be interpreted as a happy grin and not a mischievous one.] Please do! Tell me exactly what you think of it - be honest!

((OOC: Do you want to decide what's under the cream or should I?))

[theabjectauthor]

Well, I was a theatre critic, not a restaurant one, but I shall do my very best. [he takes a bite, and - honestly, it takes him a second to taste past the graham cracker and the deceptive layer of cream on the top. so there's a moment's worth of calm thoughtfulness on his face ... but it slowly melts into the careful, composed look of someone who is trying very, very, VERY hard not to look like they've just been fed something horrid.

he can't hurt her feelings, after all]

[cyan_maid]

[There's no mistaking it now - that grin is very, very mischievous.]

Well?

[theabjectauthor]

[pickles. ugh, really? PICKLES? at first it's the texture that throws him off more - he wasn't expecting a crunch in the middle of a tart, even a sweet one ... but something is off about the sweetness, and he gives up, dropping the rest into his handkerchief and covering his mouth with his hand. he manages to choke down the first mouthful without gagging -- and then sees her face. in between a fit of coughing and some very sour faces, he blinks, then manages a strained laugh. hindsight is indeed, 20-20, and now he remembers their conversations about joke sweets]

Certainly one of the most imaginative trick fillings I've ever eaten. ... And thoroughly disgusting.

[cyan_maid]

Hoo hoo hoo!! I was hoping it would be! [She dissolves into chuckles.] Sorry you had to be a guinea pig, Mr. Snicket!

[theabjectauthor]

[an arch smirk, as he crosses to deposit the contents of his poor hankie in the trash]

It's not becoming to lie, Jane.

[aka: you most certainly are not, madam]

[cyan_maid]

I'm not lying! It just so happens that I can be sorry and a prank can still be funny.

[theabjectauthor]

Well, in that case: I accept your apology. ... [he'll still be looking through the fridge for something to take the nasty pickle-and-graham taste out of his mouth though]

[cyan_maid]

If it makes you feel any better, not all of them have hidden pickles. I'm pretty certain one has bacon underneath. [She makes sure the platter is out in the open, and places two signs near it - "For Everyone" and "No Nuts! :B"]

[theabjectauthor]

Bacon?! Hmm. ... There are some combinations of savory and sweet that could be quite pleasant, but I'm not entirely sure about that one.

[he pauses to think] For example ... The Japanese make a sweet red bean paste that's delicious in rice cakes, but putting American baked beans in a tart could be truly repulsive.

Holy cow I freaking love red bean paste

[cyan_maid]

Sweet red beans? That certainly sounds interesting. I bet you could make some lovely things with it, but I'd have to taste it to be sure.

[She subtly nudges one of the tarts towards the back of the lot. It may or may not have had baked beans in it.]

sadly I've never had it but I want to try

[theabjectauthor]

I'm sure you'd have no trouble wishing for it if you wanted to try some.

[and he smiles a little, because he sees what you just did there, missy]

Oh my gosh, you and me, everything with red bean paste in it. Let's do it.

[cyan_maid]

[She grins sheepishly.] Or there may be some hiding in this kitchen! You never know. I've found all sorts of things in here.

If only it were easier to find around here...

[theabjectauthor]

That's true! I wonder what sort of packaging it comes in ...

[he's curious, now, and starts hunting around in the cupboards]

There aren't any Asian supermarkets in the area? :C

[cyan_maid]

A can, maybe? Beans usually come in cans.

[And now she's helping you look!]

The closest is an hour and a half away! Yay rural New England.

[theabjectauthor]

It's certainly a sensible enough assumption. [rummage rummage rummage. and no, he's not considering how much easier it would be to just wish for some]

:C Come to my neck of the woods sometime, there's one at least 30min away from my house.

[cyan_maid]

[Jane's looking pretty hard, too, and she starts pulling out cans of different kinds of beans. Kidney beans, cannellini beans, black beans - nothing for sweet red beans yet.]

Hmmm...Do you think they would come as whole beans, or as a paste like refried beans do?

[theabjectauthor]

I have always seen it served as a paste.... Perhaps the cans are smaller, as the cans for.deviled ham and the like.

[cyan_maid]

Ahah! Then we're on to something!

[She starts searching deeper in the cabinets, until...]

Oh - oh, is this it? I think I've got it! [She pulls out a can and holds it out for Mr. Snicket to inspect.] What do you think?

[theabjectauthor]

[he gives a pleased little gasp of surprise] Yes, that's it precisely. They even show it in the preparation I was thinking of - see, there, how they've rolled it in a ball of rice?

[cyan_maid]

I do! Though I've never seen anything like that before.

[theabjectauthor]

The Japanese do all sorts of inventive things with rice. It's actually somewhat of an art form there, though I'm hardly skilled in it, myself.

[cyan_maid]

Well, I've never done anything like it myself. Perhaps we could learn together!

[theabjectauthor]

I always used to prefer to find a proper Japanese eatery, such as a hibachi restaurant, with trained expert chefs.... But as we seem to be lacking in Eastern eateries, I suppose that is a learning experience we could jointly undertake, yes.

[cyan_maid]

[She chuckles.] I don't think any of those chefs would look down on us for giving it a shot.