Capture 5 | dictated; | dated to early afternoon

[panicswitched]

Okay so... I've been spending a little time outside my normal activities -- fyi I think it's a little impossible to burn this place down. [ because that's totally comforting, ashley. ]

So I was wondering something. How many of you actually cook? Do a lot of you guys just wish up your meals or raid the cabinets? I'm starting to think I might need to employ a good teacher or bribe someone to do my cooking for me. Or I could just hike out to town every time I want to eat.

Just wondering what the rest of you do. And I'm totally not in the kitchen right now, fyi.

[ she lies. she's totally in the kitchen. but she's not responsible for the charred remains of that plate of fries on the table.

...cough. ]

Comments

[theabjectauthor]

My ward is looking to learn more about the culinary arts, herself. Perhaps I could teach the two of you, together?

[panicswitched]

Sure. I'm all ears. Better than burning everything.

[theabjectauthor]

Is there any particular type of cuisine that interests you? Italian, Indian, Mexican...?

[panicswitched]

Italian's great. [ but hell if she knows how to make it. ]

[theabjectauthor]

It also happens to be very easy, and an excellent choice for beginners. It's quite difficult to cook pasta incorrectly.

[panicswitched]

Sounds like just my kind of thing.

[theabjectauthor]

Well, then, we can start with that. When would you be free to begin?

[panicswitched]

Name your time.

[theabjectauthor]

Would later this afternoon be convenient?

[panicswitched]

That'd be great.

[theabjectauthor]

Alright - I shall see you then, and bring a simple recipe for Penne alla Pesto. [Sunny already knows how to prepare pasta, so it'll just be the two of them ... but he doesn't quite want to tell her that there's a two-year-old more experienced than her in the culinary arts]

[panicswitched]

[ at least she knows she's spent her time in other things. cooking was just never her cup of tea, so to speak. ]

All right. See you then.

if you would rather handwave just let me know

[theabjectauthor]

[at the appointed time, he is waiting patiently in the kitchen, gathering the necessary pans and tools, humming quietly to himself.]

i'm good with whatever!

[panicswitched]

[ she's there not too long afterwards, peering in cautiously. ]

Lesson girl's here.

[theabjectauthor]

Oh! [he turns and smiles] Hello! ... I'm sorry, I just realized that I never properly introduced myself when we spoke over the journal. [he offers a hand] My name is Lemony Snicket.

[panicswitched]

It's chill. [ she doesn't expect names right away anymore. she does, however, politely shake his hand. ] Ashley Magnus. [ if he knows helen magnus, they're definitely related. ] Nice to meet you. And thanks. Y'know. For this. [ she indicates the whole cooking thing before twining her thumbs in the loops of her jeans. ]

[theabjectauthor]

It's a pleasure to meet you, as well, Miss Magnus, and I don't mind in the least. Shall we begin?

[panicswitched]

Just Ashley's fine. Magnus is my mom. [ being called that is really weird. ] Sure. Whenever you want.

[theabjectauthor]

Oh, your mother is here, as well? How very fortunate. .... How much do you already know? I would hate to go into the intricacies of operating a gas stove if you already know how they work....

[panicswitched]

Yep. She's been here longer than me.

[ pause. ] Think I already got that one, so let's skip it?

[theabjectauthor]

This is one of the few places where it is possible for one to not be able to say that about their mothers. [he looks amused as he takes down the big pasta pot]

The most important keys to cooking pasta are to make sure you have enough water, and to add a small amount of either salt or olive oil to it, so that the noodles do not stick together while cooking.

[panicswitched]

[ she's amused, too. ] What can I say? We're far from normal.

[ she nods at that. ] Okay. That makes sense. Sticky pasta is no good.

[theabjectauthor]

Normality is excessively relative, especially in a place such as Paradisa. ... As for portions, I generally find that one cup of dry pasta is a fair-sized serving for one person. Use at least two cups of water for each cup of pasta, as it is quite absorbent, and unless your guests prefer it al dente, a phrase which here means "undercooked and vaguely crunchy", you do not want to cook it in too little water.

[panicswitched]

We weren't exactly normal to begin with and frankly I like it better that way.

[ but! onto the pasta. she'll rattle off what she's got of this. at least she's a quick study? ] One cup pasta equals one person. Two cups water to one cup pasta. And the water gets salt or olive oil but not too much. Got it.

[theabjectauthor]

I don't think I blame you in the least - as long as eccentricities do not harm others, I see nothing but merit in them. They add variety.

As for cooking the pasta, you must heat your water first, and add the pasta itself once it has boiled. Most people take the time while the water is boiling to prepare the sauce.