paradisa | backdated to the 13th

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backdated to the 13th

[ Strange how it is when she tries to make amends that she ends up cutting all ties. It is inevitable anyway, or so she tells herself, at least then it isn't entirely her fault. (Maybe it is)

The mansion feels too far away all of a sudden, then she remembers she had come with a steed before and left it at the stable in her rush and now, halfway through the city, she can't imagine having to walk back or carry on. She barely manages to stop herself from crying into her palms when she remembers the tar, and feels even more frustrated by it. Why did she even come at all?

She remembers the phone only after sobbing like a mess there in the middle of the road for god knows how long. Wiping her hands on her skirt to try and clean them as best as she can, she fishes it out of her pocket to dial the only number she has. She doesn't know when she should start speaking or what if he doesn't hear? ]

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[ That always hurts. She can't be who she was before. Innocence is lost on both of them, didn't he say? ]

You said the parts I lost are good to lose.

For survival, yes. But what's the use if you forget how to really be happy? You lost those parts, but if you still want to be happy, you can just create new ones. Make new memories and feelings.

Worrying too much about pleasing others just...drained you. Like healing. So now you can be free.

[ She lets go of his chin to brush her knuckles along his jawline, trying a small smile even if her eyes still feel swollen. ]

I was happy on Easter, happiest on your birthday, I though I would never know such joy again. So no more trying to please, no more for you too.

[ That was probably his most memorable birthday, no question about it, though he's actually surprised to hear it stuck out in her mind.

But that isn't what he zones in on. No more trying to please them? Despite her plain distress, Joshua can't hide the sharpness to his smile as he gazes ahead at that thought, then back down to her. ]

Except for you? You still have a thousand wishes...

[ She tries to return the smile, muted for once. ]

Only about nine hundred more, I should think.

Are you sure you don't want to make one now?

[ He slows even more, glancing over his shoulder in the direction of the castle where she had come from. ]

[ She chuckles, now tapping his chin. She can guess. ]

Flying, Joshua?

[ He just smiles, not saying anything at first. He had been thinking something different, but it never helps to push that too soon.

The same could be applied to flying, which is why he doesn't push that either, but it is certainly easier on him to bypass the city denizens altogether. ]

It's hard to worry about anything when you fly. Everything else is so tiny.

[ That is one way to put it; everyone else doesn't matter. They are so small. She tries to shift in his arms so she can rest her arm over his shoulder, her palm against the small of his back. ]

Then my wish now is to not worry about anything.

[ On cue, the wings shimmer into eyesight and fan out, her hand on his back close enough for feathers to tickle at fingertips. With his grip around her tight (the tar might be helpful for that), Joshua launches into the air with little warning but plenty of speed, not stopping to give her a breath until they're high enough for the people below to look like ants.

He can go a little higher, hovering just above the clouds where it's even colder, but he knows he can't go beyond that for the barrier. Still, this is high enough. ]

[ Lucrezia squeezes her eyes shut and balls her fists when he launches, though it isn't the possibility of falling that worries her, only the rush of their ascent. She opens her eyes eventually, reaching her hand to brush lightly against feather, and laughs hesitantly first. Her other hand is still clutching his shirt too tightly. ]

Is this how you see us?

[ The feeling of having your stomach leap up into your throat becomes familiar before long, really. ]

It's how I see them. Are you down there with them?

[ She moves her hand to rest on his shoulder so she can peer over at the city below, watching the houses and people like toys. Ants indeed. ]

No, I am here, am I not?

Not entirely. But you will be soon.

[ Squeezing her waist in warning, Joshua darts forward with enough force to cause whiplash if she's not careful, but he keeps the speed low enough to allow her to still look around where she can. It's hard to hear anything but the wind whipping by, and there's certainly the occasional cloud in the way.

She'll find they don't taste like marshmallows. ]

[ She feels her heart lurching up her throat when he rushes forward, and she throws her other arm around his neck to feel safer. She does try not to seem too afraid, but it is still such a waste of wonderful view to hide her face and not look down.

So she keeps her eyes to the ground, picking out familiar places in her mind. The cloud feels like ice. ]

When will I be entirely?

[ Joshua laughs despite, and lightly pinches her side while nudging at the top of her her head. She's missing the real view. ]

When you stop looking down. Look ahead!

[ No, no pinching! She tries not to squirm too much in case his grip slips and what then?

Eventually she does lift her gaze from the ground to look ahead at the horizon, thin and endless, dotted only with clouds here and there. The sky is perfectly blue, the bluest she has ever seen. She draws a gasp but fails to find her words yet. ]

[ The air is cold up here, especially at this speed, but the crystal sight of the sky and the mountains in the distance is beyond worth it. He doesn't notice the frigid air much, anyway.

Joshua keeps her close despite his teasing, slowing as they span over the stretch of field and scattered trees between the city and the mansion. ]

[ He is doing an excellent job at distracting her from the previous event, the wind having dried away her tears and her mind on other things. Like how vast the world is and how small they are.

Eventually she manages a hushed mutter: ] Ever we long for something greater than ourselves.

[ Until they seek to conquer and become greater too. ]

[ He says nothing, letting Lucrezia absorb it in her own way now that her moods have been lifted or at least diverted for the time being. At this speed, the trip's stretched out over a few minutes. Of course, as he slowly descends, the magnitude of the earthquake is far more visible once one looks back down, but he's used to it by now.

Landing on the balcony outside his room, Joshua waits a moment before trying to set her down, in case she's dizzy or simply doesn't want to stand yet. ]

[ Things seem smaller but grander at the same time.

She untangles her arms from him so he can let her down when he wants to. Being here already calms her, somehow standing all alone in the city made her feel terribly lost. Now she can even chuckle at herself, ]

I smell terrible.

[ Joshua sets her down onto her feet, practically needing to peel parts of her dress off him in the process as they untangle. ]

Definitely not like roses. The mess is some of the worst, too. It's a good thing you weren't carrying books, or they would have been ruined.

[ She winces at the gross sound of half-dried sticky tar peeling off of skin, and her dress already feels hard and crusty at some parts. Not her finest moment.

But maybe he can tolerate the smell enough to let her kiss him gently on the lips, holding his side with her cleaner hand. ]

[ He most certainly can! And while kissing, he can even reach past her arm to open up the balcony doors. ]

[ She hears the door open from behind her, taking that as a cue to tug at his shirt and stumble backwards, eventually breaking the kiss. No, she shouldn't push it, not when she is still trying so hard to keep her mind away from what she just lost.

She settles for a last one on his chin. ]

I will take a bath, and then you will make me forget.

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ofhope - 2013-04-17 09:12 (UTC) - Expand

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heloise - 2013-04-17 09:25 (UTC) - Expand

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