paradisa | Have a nice trip... or something.

you too :)

[give backhanded concern and so thou shalt receive]

No promises... but then I'm not going to the Dead Zone either.

i noticed
whyd you stay behind though

Because I'm not dumb enough to go.

wow rude :(
you know its not usually as dangerous as everybody makes it out to be

Didn't the last trip bring back that virus thing?

[ugh don't remind her OTL]

...
yes yes it did
and the time before that there was a cave in
and the time before that we got shot at with arrows

And, if for some reason you die out there... it's for good.

ok so its exactly as dangerous as everybody makes it out to be
the point is its worth the risk
but if you dont want to travel thats fine too
i was just curious

Someone has to keep an eye on the place while you all go play at being adventurers.

yeah i know
do you want me to bring you back a souvenir

Heh, they got a gift shop out there?

Yeah, why not.

alright ill keep an eye out

Aw, come on, Church. How are we supposed to have any fun if nobody does anything stupid?

I'm sure there will be plenty of idiots who can manage doing the stupid shit instead. Have fun laughing at them.

Now that I can do. Make sure the castle doesn't blow up while we're gone, okay?

I'll try to keep it all in one piece. Two tops.

I'll hold you to that.

[Hey Church, who's one person you probably didn't expect to hear was going out into the unknown?

This toddler. She smiles at his dictation, replying]

Surthi [Which roughly translates to, "I'll do my best, Church, but everyone's definition of 'stupid' may be different."]

...

What. The. Fuck.

Are you fucking kidding me! Tell me you're fucking kidding me!

Sunny what in the actual fuck are you doing going out into the Dead Zone?!!

Nojok [Which clearly means, "No, Church, I'm not kidding with you. Why would I do that?" She sighs. Oh she should've known he would overreact. Seriously, Church, she's been through worse than an adventure out to the Dead Zone. Although she has a feeling that he won't understand if she tries to tell him that.

Plan B.

She looks around, spotting Lemony nearby. Walking over she tugs on his pant leg to get his attention, pointing at him and at the journal]

Krotoa? [or rather "Mr. Snicket, would you mind helping me speak with my friend?"]

[There is an irate strangled stream of obsenity in the backgound.]

Why the hell are you even out there?

Isn't there a sister or someone supposed to be keeping an eye on you?

Sir? .... I don't believe we've spoken, but my name is Lemony Snicket. I am Sunny and Violet's guardian.... Both girls expressed a desire to come on this trip, and I have agreed to accompany them. I know that Sunny is quite young, but she and Violet have already proven they are quite capable of looking after each other.

You're Sunny's guardian... and you're letting her go into the fucking Dead Zone.

Are you a total fucking idiot?!

What part of "DEAD ZONE" makes you think that taking a god damned two year old out there is even remotely a good idea?

[sorry Lemony, Church is in a bit of a snit right now.]

[Sunny gives Lemony a look that clearly expresses how tired she is of being very underestimated simply because of her age and size.]

Peegee. [Which roughly translates to "There's really no need to swear, Church. We'll be just fine."]

Sunny there's all kinds of crazy shit out there. The First Gens, the sin virus... if something happens...

You know what, fine. Have fun.

...Not like I give a shit anyway.

Sir, while I appreciate your concern for her safety, I would appreciate it even more if you could mind your language while in her presence.

And if you doubt her capability, or her sister's, then I suppose I may as well direct you to the second floor of the library. [he lets out a long, defeated sigh. he tries to get rid of them so no one will have to read them, he really does, but somehow his books are STILL THERE] There is a series of thirteen books - three of which I have not yet written, but somehow still exist here - which chronicle her unfortunate experiences in assisting her siblings in eluding the clutches of an avaricious actor, and, might I add, largely without any useful adult supervision or assistance to speak of.

Right, because letting her go out someplace with crazy ex-residents in power armor, monsters and viruses that drive you insane is just fine... but using naughty words! Well FUCK that's just going to far!

[long exasperated sigh]

Listen jackass.... just make sure she gets back in one piece.

I will, though because it is my duty as her guardian, not because of your belligerence.

[and as emphasis, later on there's a full set of all thirteen books delivered to his door via ghost]

I don't really care why you do it... just that you do.

[Church is tempted to send Lemony a book about the Human-Covenant war and the billions of people who died. The planets reduced to molten slag. There are worse things out there than creeper actors.
Still, he's not going to read the books. If Sunny wants to tell him about what happened she will. He respects her privacy.]

I won't. And I'll keep an eye on York.

[OOC - Seeing as Church helped Wash, I think it's safe to assume filter vagueness includes Wash.]

Good.
I've had enough bullshit dealing with you guys lately.

[OOC - Yeah, Wash is definitely included.]

I appreciate what you've done, Church.

...

I'm just covering shit for the team, that's all.
You guys aren't any good to me all messed up.

[The fact that for some strange reason he kind of likes being helpful has nothing to do with it. You guys being pretty ok people defiantly has nothing to do with it. This is pure self interest.]

I'm sure, Church. [Have amused disbelief, Church.]

[grumble]

Have a nice trip... or something.

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Aradia

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