paradisa | [011]; where you invest your love, you invest your life

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elizabeth tudor

[011]; where you invest your love, you invest your life

[ closed ]

I, Elizabeth. Hail, Gloriana, for I am woman, I am queen, I am myself, and much more than that. A woman of many faces. Woman, with Dudley, Raleigh and Seymour. Statesman, before parliament. King, when the cold death wraps about me and I rode to battle, to teach lesser men how to die.

I, Elizabeth, the mortal, so foolishly flawed and human in my folly. These lines upon my face are from sleeplessness, if these grey hairs were silver, we should be rich. My hands tremble from the duty and my words stutter for these many loses. My heart, it has been broken. If I were to be truthful, it has been broken for a very long time. The same as Mary's, the same as Edward's. I am of a bloody house, but we are strong, if only for our broken hearts to build upon. A house built on the ashes of a brutal war, sealed in the right of conquest. Forged again in the flames of a burning armada. Men may have the pieces of my heart where it so shattered long ago, but England, she has my bones, my soul. Perhaps that is why I can never love as other women do, not even when I want to so give myself. It is not so much that I hate them, but I loathe myself for ever forgetting what I am. ~~Now I have lost the only men who have ever understood that, here at least.~~

I, Elizabeth. The divine daughter of Henry the Great, and of Anne Boleyn, the Martyr, with my heart is so broken, and my bones sown into my land so they better feed my people. To God I commend my soul, should he find what it has become in his embrace a thing worth having. I have done things I never thought myself capable, I have faced death and won. I have done what no woman in England has done before, and I only ever wanted, in truth, the best for my subjects.

I, Elizabeth. ~~But we used to smile, did we not? When do we ever smile?~~

[ / closed ]

[ open; dictated]

I am myself again. Forgive me my childishness, the girl I once was. I suppose we were all young at some time, nay?

Which my naivety of youth aside, you are to continue call me Your Majesty, Queen Elizabeth Tudor, the Virgin Queen.

My thanks.

[ Elizabeth clears her throat, determined to speak detachedly from the world around her. She is the forger of Empires, and if she wills this crippling hurt away, so she will be stand tall. She needed that space to keep them away. She was not to be the same as them, not now, not ever. ]

That aside, I have... graver news than that. Like so many before him, Merlin, loyal servant of Kings of England, most especially Arthur Pendragon... and my dear friend, has left this place.

God keep him as best He can. Grant him the peace he deserves.

[ / ]

[ Morgana Pendragon ]

He has left you a note. Whenever you wish to claim it.

[ / Morgana Pendragon ]

[ Her Majesty, Anne Boleyn ]

Your Majesty, I, Elizabeth, King of England in my own right, would seek an audience with you.

[ / Anne Boleyn ]

[ Arya Stark ]

Little Knight, will you speak to me now?

[ / Arya Stark ]

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[ o o p s ~somebody's in trouble~ ]

I would speak with Your Grace whenever you want.

Then will you come to my chambers, as soon as you are able.

[This is not a request. If Elizabeth had children, this would be her mum voice talking right now.]

[ She understands it as a command. Arya briefly debates the merits of lying that her brother needs her. Robb is her king. His word supersedes all others'. ]

Yes, Your Grace.

[ She closes the journal quietly and walks to Elizabeth's room. She takes the time to fix her tunic and comb at her hair before knocking. ]

[Elizabeth would of accepted that, as far as asking Robb to send her next time, and ask what it was he wanted.

As it is, Elizabeth is set about writing something that seems to take up a few sets of parchment, a little cluster of half burned through candles beside her for the extra light. The knock at the door makes her raise her head, she's left the door unlocked.]

Come in.

[ The door opens enough to reveal Arya in dirty breeches, half her hair standing up except for the little patch at the front she had combed down with her fingers. She takes a step inside, but doesn't shut the door. She isn't sure what to expect. Her back remains to the wall. ]

You wanted to see me, Your Grace?

Welcome back, Your Majesty. I think that's the right words for it.

And what a shame, I liked Merlin.

[ Matilda doesn't understand the game of ages in the castle yet. Which makes her determined to learn, to know if it is magic, if it is something else. ]

I am sorry you lost your friend.

[ um ]

Your Majesty.

[Elizabeth kept Arya standing there until she finished her sentence, then set her quill down, blowing softly on the ink to help it dry before she finally looked up. When she did both her eyebrows went up. A grown woman all over again, though she couldn't tell if that was a relief or not to the little Stark.]

I did, but did you want to see me, is probably the question I ought to ask. [she leaned back in her chair.] Now that I am seeing you, granted, all I want to do is put you in a bath tub and scrub you until you're clean again. But I think your Nymeria would have my arm off if I even tried that.

It is good to be myself. [she laughed dryly.] Such courtesies are not expected so much from you, Master Wilder, believe me.

As did I. [To say the least of it.]

[ Arya lets the door fall quietly shut behind her. She worries her lip. ]

She's not here, my lady. She's with Grey Wind.

[it takes her a moment to remember the voice --]

Ah, peu de miel. I am truly myself again, you must forgive meeting me under other circumstances.

[She doesn't pause, waving it by like it was nothing more than a change of weather.]

How fairs your study?

[Elizabeth laughed quietly, her fingers spreading over her lips to keep it low and to herself.]

Careful telling me that, I will even dirtier my own hands to have you clean before my mother's celebrations.

[Teasing, always teasing. Until it makes up for the hurt of Arya closing her out as she had. It was the most curious sinking feeling. So little in the way of family, and to have Arya turn her away had hurt like most things did not.

Of course, as always, nothing showed, she brought her hand away from her lips again to wave Arya closer.] Come let me look at you, see if there is truly my little niece under all that dirt.

Well hey, maybe after being young for so long I'd thought you'd like to hear that title as much as you could.

[Since man the prospects you were looking at as a youngin seemed do drab ]

Well I guess he'll be happy he can go do his work now.

I'm not going.

[ She has never been interested in celebrations like this. The feasts had been different in Winterfell; Winterfell was different. She would rather spend a night running inside Nymeria's skin, reveling in the feeling of earth under her paws and the thrill of tearing her prey apart.

Arya stops an arms's length from Elizabeth. Her feet shuffle uncomfortably. ]

I will practice my needlework tonight.

It is pleasant to hear once more, that I cannot deny.

[Well damn Zelos, way to hit the nail on the head. There aren't enough words how much she wants the reminders.]

As much happiness as can be provided. [Never mind that she knows the tales, knows the cruelty to befall him and all he is going to lose.]

Wait. Merlin was here?

[he never got to meet the man, but he heard about him from Lancelot's stories]

Understandable. I hate how this place seems bent on making one relive the past.

[Don't worry you're queen forever and ever Elizabeth. Screw being the bastard child of whatever]

Of course. [Yeah, he knows not of the guy's future but it's still better to be home than here.]

You're not going?

[ Elizabeth leaned forward when Arya came closer, head tilting slightly as her smile crept up. ] But I could of sworn that you went the last time, did you not?

[ she sighed, a little dramatically. ] What on earth am I going to do with my only Knight? Off to practise with her needles, but will not defend a Queen?

Indeed, I have had the pleasure of the company of two different Merlin's in my time here.

I never met him, but I heard stories. He sounded like a great man. Sorry to hear he left, your Majesty.

[he's not from her world, but he still has respect for royalty]

It does have a perchance for such things. It... well, it was a lesson in itself.

[ Which is as much as she'll say for the time being. ]

What does it say of us, that sometimes staying here at times... seems better. [a sigh, and more silence from her.] But then, I have won my wars, my crown, as my father and grandfather did... I have no great trials to face, not of that kind at least.

He was a man without an equal, to my opinion, and I have known a great many men when they stand before me asking for my favours. Merlin, he...

[The words fall short. The words will always fall short, of the futures they built together, of the quietness and peace that they found for the few stolen moments over glasses of wine. It's the same as this kind of pain always is, a rush, and then it is gone again.

But his respect, though unseen, makes her smile ever so slightly.] Thank you.

[And he won't pry. Talking about the past is not easy, and she's probably in a down enough mood as it is]

[He chuckles] Really? Then I envy you. When I get home I'll be trying to stop wars, making sure to keep my place in the court, changing the ways we've done things...[a dreary sigh] trials upon trials.

[being such a man of words, August can read a lot into what she's saying. Even in the pauses. He can feel a story there, but it's her story, one she should choose whether or not to share]

Have you lived in this world long, your Majesty?

[As much as she's not in truly happy state of mind, she begins to laugh. Because of all things this amuses her.]

You are as I was, and I am what you will become. [she keeps laughing for a moment longer.] I am a poor lover, for I can give you no true words of comfort to that end.

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[011]; where you invest your love, you invest your life

Queen Elizabeth

Arya Stark

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