paradisa | twenty six ► it all comes tumbling down

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twenty six ► it all comes tumbling down

[dictated]

[The hollow noises of the Event Horizon are clear enough in the background. Muted screams, what have you, as people see things and do things they regret.]

It's me, Lloyd. Does anyone know what's going on? There's something... really wrong with this ship. I've seen people I know, but they aren't saying what they should be saying. And there are people who've lost everything, who can't even tell what's going on, trying to hurt others...

I need a clue. I need something. This needs to stop or else we'll all end up killing each other. I don't want to hurt anyone else.

[He takes in a shaky breath, and then, very quietly:]

... Dad?

-----

[Colette/action]

[Lloyd clings to her hand. It's the only thing that's real, even though he's been seeing things all day.]

Colette. Can you... see him?

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[Allen's had a pretty terrible time, just like everyone else. He's been working non stop in the clinic, trying to do what he can for all the wounded. It's never enough, and on top of everything not but a couple hours ago he watched his teacher get murdered. His teacher while a magnificent bastard, was only trying to tend to the wounded. ]

[But he has to help a friend, right? So he swallows and tries to answer]

I- I don't know...but those people- they aren't real.

Whatever they're saying- it's not them. I know that much.

Yeah. They're not themselves. But I keep seeing people from my world, too.

I don't know if it's because I haven't slept or... something else. I've never had to deal with this.

[He squeezes his eyes shut, though Allen can't see it, and his grip on the journal tightens.]

Dad wouldn't say I'm a selfish murderer, right? You knew him. He's not like that.

No. Kratos would never say something like that.

[He'll say it firmly, comfortingly. As much as he can anyway]

It's this place, it's doing it to all of us. It's...it's been making me see people too, saying stuff they'd never say.

Thought so.

[He lets out a shaky breath.]

If there's some kind of monster making us see these things, I can't find it. We'll just have to wait it out.

[he sniffs a little, shaking his head. They should be looking for a way, but he hasn't. He can't- ]

I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea if there is one or not. I haven't been able to leave the clinic since everything started.

Yeah, I'm... nearby. Colette wants to help the wounded, so we're staying together.

[A pause.]

We're not alone. I mean that. Our friends on the other ship are doing something. I don't know what, but I know they'll help us.

[He chuckles half-heartedly.] I'm always the one doing the rescuing. I don't like waiting.

...I know the feeling. I've never been good at being saved.

[Always take care of himself, never burden on others. Even now, he keeps trying to push himself to do as much as he can. And beating himself up when it's not enough]

[And he does so yet again]

Well, we can use all the help we can get. There's...not many of us medics left. They've either gone mad or...[he swallows- he can't bring himself to say it]

[... He can guess.]

I can stand guard. I'm no good at medical things, but...

[It's not like he's blindly rushing headlong into bullets. He's staying with people, staying with Colette, protecting them. Zelos' sacrifice doesn't mean he's going to hide like a coward.]

We can get through this together.

...Thank you. Truly.

[He truly means that. Who cares if he doesn't have medical knowledge. With medics being picked off...]

[But he knows Lloyd's lost some people too. He saw Colette's entry. So he'll muster up what hope (or at least, fake hope) he can to respond]

We will. We always get through these things.

[Allen is better at that fake hope thing than Lloyd is. Lloyd hates it; it reminds him of Colette when she was hiding her impending death from everyone.

But he's not in a position to fight it.]

... I know I don't talk to you that much, but... you're a good friend, Allen.

[.....Yeah he'll not mention his impending maybe death to you either. ]

Ah- it's all right! I know I'm not the most...social of people.

[... good call.]

Heh, that's fine. I'm just forgetful sometimes. [More like all the time.] Would it be okay if I came to see you? After this is over.

Edited 2013-05-08 23:15 (UTC)

Come see me?

[You can see it, but he's smiling a little]

Of course it'd be okay. You can come see me anytime!

[He can hear the smile in his voice, and that's enough.]

Then it's a deal.

Hey, you like Hot Pockets, right?

Hot Pockets?

Mm, of course I do! [WHO WOULDN'T JEEZ]

[He brightens audibly.]

I've got a huge stash at my place. I'll bring them over. What's your favorite kind?

Um...I like the four cheese kind! [you know like one of the few...meatless ones]

[Eeeeyeah.]

Alright! I got a few of those, so I'll bring 'em over.

Great! Thank you, Lloyd!

[Quietly.]

Corrine's talking to me...

Sheena. It's not Corrine. Corrine's gone-- he's Verius now.

Don't you remember?

No, it's Corrine... And he's wearing the bell I bought him...

Sheena, no. It's not real!

I couldn't understand how he could be here, but then I remembered the castle can bring anyone from any time...

[She's only half hearing you, Lloyd.]

[He's starting to panic and not just because of what he's seeing and hearing too.]

Sheena! Your heart is stronger than that! Don't you dare give in!

He's telling me the others were right. And you know Corrine would never lie to me, Lloyd!

[She sees the Zelos from her nightmare, too, dying in Corrine's place instead, but his words aren't as clear...]

Corrine would never say those things to you! [He can guess what they're saying.] If you hurt yourself, everyone who knows you will suffer!

You need to stay safe. Ignore Corrine and the others, and stay with the people in the clinic. Those people are real.

I can't ignore Corrine! I did that before, and I hurt his feelings!

[She pauses.]

People already have suffered, Lloyd. People I know get hurt and die because of me.

It has to stop.

Who told you that?! You made the pact with Volt and your grandfather is fine now! Everyone's waiting for you to come home and be the next chief! You're strong and you're honest, and everyone looks up to you!

Stop blaming yourself for everything! Stop talking like your life doesn't have any meaning unless you lose it! That kind of crap makes me sick!

Volt?

[Her head snaps up as memories--real memories, not the twisted ones she's been seeing flood her mind.]

Corrine was happy for me... I had found friends, even though I was ignoring him...

Then he said he'd protect me, and I laughed... So strong for such a small thing...

[So how can she waste his sacrifice? How could she have made Colette suffer? How could she make her friends suffer?]

Oh gods, Lloyd!

[Lloyd is quiet for a moment.]

Are you okay now?

[Is she okay now?]

Yeah... Yeah, I think I am.

[She sounds awestruck as she continues.]

I can remember everything, and it was so weird. It was like every time I started to remember what was real and important, everything that wasn't just became stronger and stronger making me forg--

Oh no...

[He'll hear a few grunts of pain as she stands up.]

I gotta find Danny!

...Is it all fake? Is it all in our heads?

Yeah. The real people are the people you can touch-- the people who tell you to keep living. Keep going.

Don't give up, okay, Django?

..Hah.. Haha... Hahaha...! Keep going? He's the one who won't leave me alone!

He's not real. I don't know who's bugging you, but he's not real!

He's done this to me before! He sent his phantoms to mock me before!

[and then all that anger teeters into a deep sadness]

He has to be real. He.. This feeling...

Well, everyone is seeing things! It's not just you!

The castle always plays tricks on us. This is no different.

Sometimes people come back during these changes...!

I don't know... I don't know...

Then apologize when it's over! If they really care, they'll understand.

Don't give up before then.

I don't want to be alone...

[him? Colette has been quiet ever since... ever since their group dwindled from three to two. No, she hadn't been seeing him, but she had been seeing demons of her own. She had been wondering if Lloyd too... but that answers her question. She squeezes his hand, and leans closer to him. Closeness against all this... that must be illusion]

Who do you see?

[He squeezes Colette's hand in return. Without asking, he wraps his arms around her, protective. Or maybe he's being protected. He's not sure anymore.]

... Kratos.

[He closes his eyes, rests his chin against her hair.]

But it's not real.

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twenty six ► it all comes tumbling down

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