005

[littlesoul]

[River looks a little worn down, a little tired but not bad. She's been hiding, keeping away from people after the Event Horizon and trying hard to keep herself as sane as she ever is with all the chaos that has been going through people's minds.

But she's smiling now, which is something.]

Faded into the walls for a while, slept for so long. Sorry. Back now, alive again. She's here if you need her.

Comments

[forsometimenow]

I understand, honey. Your brother helped me do the same- hide away, I mean. I... didn't have an easy time of it on that ship.

[littlesoul]

Scars, everyone has new scars. Not just you.

[forsometimenow]

... I know.

[littlesoul]

She's sorry. She's not saying the right thing, she never says the right thing.

[forsometimenow]

Well. Sometimes the truth is hard. Doesn't mean it's not right.

[littlesoul]

She's not trying to be truthful, just trying to be what you need.

[forsometimenow]

In this case, I don't think there's much of a difference. But you don't need to hear about it, either.

[littlesoul]

She doesn't mind, if it would help.

[forsometimenow]

Long story. But I appreciate that she's willing to listen.

[There's a long pause.]

... I hid when all of the fighting started. Then I kinda broke down when I got off. Feel like I should have done more, that's all. This hit all of my insecurities, my fears... the hallucinations did, too. And, well, I didn't die, so why am I even this worked up about it? That's it in a nutshell.

[littlesoul]

Not everyone is made to fight. Some of them hide, come out when the fighting is done and do what they an to make things better afterward.

Don't blame yourself.

[forsometimenow]

I definitely do that.

[A pause.] I guess... I feel really self-conscious because where I come from, even though I am a doctor, fighting is a necessary survival skill, and it took me a while to become any good at it. In the meantime, I either avoided situations like that or... well, other people had to rescue me. What little ability I do have has gotten so rusty...