Chapter Five

[thebestseller]

Parenthood... it's a wondrous thing, isn't it? I'd be happy to dispense my wisdom to anybody with a human baby who's totally clueless about what to do. Passing down knowledge through the ages and all.

First bit of advice- check the diaper. If the diaper's clean, they're probably hungry. If it's neither of those things, maybe they just want some attention.

Comments

dictated;

[rightchoices]

[ He can't help it- he's amused. ]

Some serious words of wisdom I'm hearing there.

[both_neither]

I don't suppose you have anything more specific that that?

[thebestseller]

It's good, time-tested advice, though- if the baby's crying, chances are she's either dirty, hungry, or bored or lonely. One of the first things I learned.

[thebestseller]

Depends on your situation. What's up?

[both_neither]

He's kind of a picky eater. It makes the feeding part of him a little...tricky.

[thebestseller]

Something that worked with my daughter was making it fun. Tortillas instead of bread. Making shishkebabs out of everything. Giving a few different options couldn't hurt, either.

[rightchoices]

Had a kid before this, I'm guessing.

[both_neither]

Oh yeah...like that airplane thing mom's do sometimes.

[thebestseller]

Yeah- a daughter. She's grown by now, though, much as I'd like to wish she wasn't.

[thebestseller]

Exactly. And giving them a few options to choose from lets you shake things up a bit.

[both_neither]

I don't remember lunch being this complicated. [But he sounds amused]

[rightchoices]

Sounds nice.

[ -- he guesses. He had wanted kids- eventually. Clementine was close enough. ]

She here with you?

[thebestseller]

No- she's still back home. Wish I was there with her, but she can take care of herself, too.

... She was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

[thebestseller]

[Castle laughs.]

It's a lot different from a parent's perspective than when you were a kid, eh?

[both_neither]

That's for sure. I'm starting to suspect the real reason for naptime is just so the parents can have time to themselves.

[rightchoices]

[ He pauses for a moment, considering. ]

Is. She's still there, man- no reason to talk in the past tense.

[thebestseller]

True. Very, very true. She's back home waiting for me, and that's definitely something to look forward to.

[thebestseller]

That and visits to friends and family.

[rightchoices]

What's her name? If you don't mind my asking.

[thebestseller]

Alexis. She's the light of my life- I was blessed with the best, most well-behaved kid a parent could ask for.

[rightchoices]

[ He's quiet for a moment, musing. ]

Might have to argue with you on that one.

[both_neither]

Well, that too. Which would be easier to get away with if I didn't have to also do the single dad thing this year.

[thebestseller]

Ah, single fatherhood- that was me, too. Not here in the castle, but back home.

[thebestseller]

Mine's a straight-A student. Or better. And so mature she parents me sometimes. And thinks the worst thing she ever did was jumping the turnstile at the subway once when she was in a hurry. Hard to top that.

[both_neither]

Yeah? How many did you have?

[rightchoices]

[ His.. kept her composure during a zombie apocalypse, and through the loss of her real parents. Sort of. Mostly. Lee doesn't exactly feel like dragging this conversation to those depths, so, so he just chuckles. ]

Yeah, yeah. Just keep an eye out for Clementine - you might be surprised.

[thebestseller]

Just one- a daughter. She's all grown up now and will be off to college soon. How time flies...

[thebestseller]

I certainly will. I am never too proud to admit when I am wrong, after all.

[both_neither]

No kidding. But hey, congratulations.