PARADISA

So, Paradisa, I got to thinking about drink recipes, as I sometimes do when I'm bored and procrastinating on writing. And I decided that the Death Match should have a signature cocktail. Maybe several.

Any ideas?

Bonus points if you manage to reference ponies.

Good citizens of Paradisa, the last few months have been pretty bad and I haven't had the opportunity to do a betting pool. That changes now. My old buddy Gary started this fine tradition, and I decided to carry on in his honor after he left- because some of us just want to make fun of Paradisa in return for all the ways it screws with us.

For newbies and oldbies who need a refresher, here are the rules:

1. Bets are for correctly guessing the first castlewide incident that will happen during the month of May. Exact guesses not necessary- if you get close enough you may still win.
2. I'll take bets for any amount from 1 to 100 Caisos.
3. Bets will be taken any time from now until the first event hits.
4. In the event that more than one person guesses correctly, the pot will be evenly split.
5. If nobody wins for the first event, I'll keep rolling the bets over til someone wins. If nobody wins, everyone gets their money back and we try again next month.

So, what's everybody want to guess? Me, I'm going to play it safe and say we'll have some sort of wacky fun this month.

Edible flowers. Green ones taste like sour apple, blue ones like blue raspberry, snozzbery-colored ones taste like snozzberries.

Lay it on me.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Paradisa. Do you know what today is?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

No foolin'.

Come to the Death Match. Drinks and cake are on me.

[However, anybody coming to the Death March may have at least one of the following happen: 1. They will get drenched with beer (water for underage patrons) as they walk in the door; 2. They will get a pie in the face as they walk in the door; 3. Their stool will have a pie or whoopee cushion on it; 4. The normally benign peanuts and potato chips at the bar will be coated with sriracha.]

Kate Beckett left the castle this morning.

If anyone needs me, I'll be at the Death Match getting shit out of my head drunk.

I'm three days late- but hey, nothing has happened yet. FEBRUARY BETTING POOL TIME. For those of you who are newer to the castle, I'm carrying on the fine tradition started by my buddy Gary of taking bets on the crazy crap that will happen to us during the month. Because sometimes, it helps if you don't take Paradisa too seriously.

1. Bets are for the first castlewide incident that will happen during the month of February.
2. I'll take bets for any amount from 1 to 100 Caisos.
3. Bets will be taken any time from now until the first event hits.
4. In the event that more than one person guesses correctly, the pot will be evenly split.
5. If nobody wins for the first event, I'll keep rolling the bets over til someone wins. If nobody wins by the end of the month, everyone gets their money back and we start fresh.

So, what are your guesses? Something to do with looooove, as February indeed has Valentine's Day? Or will the castle end up making us hate each other? Or will it do neither and finally fill our shoes with pudding?

I'm going to go with tainted chocolates myself. Not necessarily with love potions- maybe some will make your tongue turn green for a week, or make multi-colored pimples pop on your face, or other harmless but wacky fun.

Hey. Hey. Paradisa. It's the... second of the month, so you know what time it is? BETTING POOL TIME. I'll repeat the rules:

1. Bets are for the second castlewide incident that will happen during the month of January- since I was too drunk to get this up yesterday, and no cheating by retroactively guessing lots of alcohol everywhere.
2. I'll take bets for any amount from 1 to 100 Caisos.
3. Bets will be taken any time from now until the second event hits.
4. In the event that more than one person guesses correctly, the pot will be evenly split.
5. If nobody wins for the second event, I'll keep rolling the bets over til someone wins. If nobody wins, everyone gets their money back.

For the record, my money's going to be on a sudden burst of summer-like weather. If we can have Christmas in July, why not July in January, right?

... Also... Kate's still not herself. In case anyone was wondering.

It's the first day of December, Paradisa, so it's time for me to try my hand at the 3rd overall Paradisa Betting Pool. The idea is that you try and guess what kind of crazy thing is going to happen to us this month, and whoever gets closest wins the pot.

I'm just going to use the rules Gary wrote down, since they seem reasonable.

1. Bets are for the first incident that will happen during the month of December.
2. I'll take bets for any amount from 1 to 100 Caisos.
3. Bets will be taken any time from now until the first event hits.
4. In the event that more than one person guesses correctly, the pot will be evenly split.
5. If nobody wins for the first event, I'll keep rolling the bets over til someone wins. In the event that nobody does for the entire month, the slate will be wiped clean, everyone gets their money back, and we can try again in January.

I'll be at the Death March til about 11 o'clock tonight if anyone wants to come by with their bets.

Came back to the castle to find that Gary Sitterson's gone back home.

Would anybody be interested in keeping the betting pool up? I'd handle it in Gary's stead. I feel like it's important to laugh at this place sometimes.

I've got a new job tending bar at the Death Match. Bars are a good place to hear stories, and you know how much I love hearing stories.

[A pause and some pen taps before he adds:]

I'm a pretty good listener, too. If anyone needs that.

As much fun as it was to return to the eighties and be reminded of my college years and the... well, many follies of my youth, it's kinda nice to be back here, too.

... Looking back on it, I'm not quite sure how I thought how I looked was fashionable.