☢ 008 | dictated

[wantsiceland]

You know, even real parents have the option of hiring a babysitter. Food for thought.

So who wants to come play nanny? There have to be some people around here who are morally outraged by the idea of a four-year-old hanging around with a supervillain all day. And if you need more incentive than that, let it be known that we're starting with pickpocketing and working our way up.

[she raises her voice a little]

Isn't that right, kid?

[a cheery reply of "That's right!" comes from off-screen; satisfied, Shego shuts the journal]

Comments

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Pickpocketing is fine by me. Counts as looking after them.

[wantsiceland]

Aw, I knew you weren't all good!

This one isn't half bad at it, either. Must be in the genes.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Never claimed otherwise.

I heard they take after their parents a lot.

[wantsiceland]

And for the most part that just makes it creepier.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Probably. But they're no less yours. For the week, anyway.

[wantsiceland]

[she lowers her voice]

A liiiiittle quieter when you're talking about that "for the week" thing, champ.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

You'd want to keep the truth from them?

[wantsiceland]

You try explaining "you're going to disappear in a few days" to a four-year-old and see how well it goes over.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

[And this is where Bunny sucks at spending time with children]

She's not aware this isn't her real home already?

[wantsiceland]

She seems to think it is, and I'm not saying otherwise. And you're not going to, either.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Fine, if that's what you want him to believe, he won't hear any different from me.

[wantsiceland]

Her.

It's a girl.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Her then, my mistake.

[wantsiceland]

Not like it matters though, am I right?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Of course it matters. She's still a child.

[wantsiceland]

I'm not really her parent; I'm not going to get attached. The people that think of them like that are just setting themselves up to miss them when they disappear.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

You'll get attached anyway. Just by spending time with her. It's human nature. You can tell yourself you won't til you're blue in the face, in the end, it won't make much difference.

[wantsiceland]

I'm not soft and squishy on the inside.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

But you're teaching her your skills. You still have her around.

That says something.

[wantsiceland]

If there was someone to give her over to, I would.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Sounds like a poor excuse to me. The castle's full of people.

[wantsiceland]

And no one wants to take another kid full-time. I've tried.

Are you offering?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

I'm a guardian, not a babysitter. But if you really want to get rid of her, I'll watch her.

[wantsiceland]

Good, I could use a break.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Ripper, you know where my burrow is? [He'll draw a map in the journal, just in case she doesn't. He's only being so helpful because he's banking on her not wanting to really give the kid up]

[wantsiceland]

You want to keep a little kid in a burrow?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

None of the nippers in the castle seem to mind.

[wantsiceland]

... Fine. So how long is this nanny gig going to last?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

You mean you being a parent? A week, from what I've heard.

[wantsiceland]

I mean you being a babysitter.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

I just told you I'm not a babysitter. I'm a guardian.

[wantsiceland]

And yet? You're offering to babysit.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

I'm offering to watch her, there's a difference.

[wantsiceland]

Yeeeah, let's move away from the vocabulary and towards discussion of a time limit.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

So you do want her back at some point?

[wantsiceland]

Would you keep her for the rest of the week if I said no?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

I wouldn't have her abandoned.

[wantsiceland]

Good; then you can keep her. I'm not parent material; she'll be better off.

[unhand]

Seems an appropriate enough way to raise your progeny.

oops I can't HTML

[wantsiceland]

[she lowers her voice a bit]

Fake progeny.

Not that I'm telling her that. I'm not signing myself up for dealing with any existential crises here.

[unhand]

So that's why there're so many of the little ones.

[wantsiceland]

Apparently this is tradition.

[unhand]

Strange tradition. Why would the castle do such a thing?

[wantsiceland]

You haven't been here that long, have you.

[unhand]

Only a week or so.

[wantsiceland]

Uh-huh; that explains it. Soon you're gonna realize there's no use asking why the castle would do anything.