63. Good byes

[foolreversed]

[Letters are delivered by ghost or some other magic means throughout the day. On each one the following is written in Adachi's handwriting, although he's made an actual attempt to not be lazy about his grammar for once:]

If you are receiving this letter, then it means the castle finally got tired of me and sent me back.

I just wanted to say I'm glad I had the chance to meet you all. And I think it was time I was honest about who I am.

The fact of the matter is I am a criminal. I am the villain. I am the big bad you face near the end of the video game. I know that may be hard to believe, some of you may even be laughing at the idea, but it's the truth. I won't go into detail about my crimes but I will say I ruined more than a handful of lives. I betrayed and hurt people who still cared about me, people who relied on me as an officer of the law. And in the end I was taken down; defeated by a bunch of angry teenagers who still believed in a future I knew I did not have. At the time the castle brought me here, I was already in police custody, waiting for trial dates to determine my fate, which could range anywhere from several years, life or even a noose around my neck.

And I was fine with that. I'm fine with returning to that. At the end of the day I am the bad guy. I am supposed to be punished for what I did. And I am fine with that. I've been fine with that since those kids beat the snot out of me.

But being here taught me things being back home did not. Through meeting all of you I learned how to care about people other than myself, learned how to change, learned how to actually be happy again and not the empty shell of a man life had turned me into, a man who could only feel anything by watching the torment and struggle of others. And while lots of bad things happened to me because of this castle, I can't find it in me to resent it right now. Because of this place I actually had a second chance.

I'm not sure where else I wanted to go with this but I guess... I don't want any of you to think your time here isn't worth it, or you're not capable of changing for the better. Thinking you're worthless because of your past. There is no future for me anymore, and for some of you you're in the same boat. But I know now that I'm not worthless; it's okay for me to be happy now and then. It's okay for me to have better than what I did back home, even if I've done horrible things. Even if I'm a horrible man. Even if my time here is erased from my mind, I'm not so sure if this feeling will really leave me. It feels hard to imagine such a thing.

Anyway, I won't bore you for much longer. I understand if some of you hate me now for what you just read. I'm sorry. And should the castle ever decide to bring me back someday, none of you are obligated to be nice to me again. I know better than anyone that I'm fucked up, and if the castle takes me from when I was still volatile and hurting others I hope you all stay away for your own safety. But, even if that happens, if you could find it in you to remember me for who I was here rather than what you know now or what you may see, I would be grateful.

I truly mean it when I say thank you. Thank you for looking after me and helping to shape me into who I am now.

Take care of yourselves and stay healthy.

Sincerely,
Tohru Adachi


[for a few other people, additional notes are also included with the letter]


[Mitsuru]

Mitsuru-san.

Thank you for the Evokers.

I'm sorry that I won't get a chance to use them here. But still. Thank you for wanting to give me this chance. Maybe if I'm lucky you'll seek me out back home some way too.

Even now it's funny how I can't find the courage to tell you what I've wanted to since we first met. Maybe I can if we ever see each other again someday. Still, I hope you stay happy and healthy. I mean that.


[Mark]

I'm sorry, Mark.

I know that you've lost people that meant a lot to you while you've been here, and I'm sorry that I'll be going now too.

Still, I want you to know; I remember at one point you were worried about ending up losing yourself like I did. I don't think you will. You're a good kid, and other people around you have seen that, me included. You have so many people that care for you, a lot more than I ever did.

I think so long as you remember what's important you'll turn out okay. I'm the kind of man who thought he lost everything and forgot what was truly important about living. I let reality pull me down until it suffocated me. But I think you're different. Different from other teenagers and different from what I was when I started to snap. I think you'll be okay, and you feel like you might not be, remember that my support is still there even though I'm gone.

Thank you for being the one teenager that gave me a chance.


[last but not least... this one is delivered by a saddened Blacky]

[Colette]

I'm so glad we met.

Every single day... there isn't a day where I'm not happy that I had the chance to meet you.

There is no one else that has had as much of an impact as you have.

Please take care of Blacky. Fluttershy is no longer here to take him and he always did like you.

I'd tell you to take care of yourself but I know all those other jackasses around you will make sure you're safe and in good health.

Thank you, for being my friend.

[it's short and sweet and to the point. Because this one is the hardest of all to write]

Comments

[whichwayyoulean]

[Damnit Adachi you have to stop being so much like him, it's unnerving. The Once-ler will read his letter quietly, only the soft beep of the various machines in the clinic breaking the silence. When he's done, he folds it up carefully and pockets it, next to the seed. It never hurt to have a reminder that there was hope for all of them, however unwilling he was to truly subscribe to that school of thought.

He'll miss you, buddy, however it turns out for you. He's glad at least you found some measure of peace here]

[pint_sized_carnivore]

[When Chie got the letter, she was compelled to just throw it away... But something in her, the part of her who understands Adachi a little better, decided to give the letter a chance. She sat down on her bed to read the letter...]

...

[Her heart sank. This is actually pretty heartfelt and she believes every word. That part of her that hated Adachi seems to have vanished... She sets the letter aside and just lied down her bed in silence]

[luxe_can_kill]

[Mitsuru got the letter while she was having some tea in her room. The name on the envelope caught her attention, so she opened the letter to read it by her fireplace. It actually made her smile a little. She's happy for him, happy that he have grown from the Inaba Fog Murderer to a changed man.

She read the added note for her and sighed. She folded the letter and looked at the window, with her tea in hand]

Goodbye, Tohru. I'll see you again...

[hard_talker]

[when the letter shows up on Mark's desk, in a handwriting that's grown familiar over years of dictation and filtered conversations, he doesn't have to open it to know what it means. his heart drops down into his socks - since, well, he doesn't have his shoes on - and he sighs, softly.]

Fuck.

[it takes him a moment to even open it, as he circles around all the thoughts he always has when someone close leaves - where they're headed, what they're in for, whether they'll make it. all he knows is that Adachi is headed for jail, just like he himself is, when he leaves. he hopes he'll weather it, and come out as strong as he did here, but there's no way of knowing.

no way but believing that he does.

and as he finally opens the letter and reads, leaning on one hand, fingers threaded through his hair, he realizes that his beliefs might be pretty well-founded after all. Adachi wanted that second chance, and he'd had it here ... and maybe he'll have it again.

after all, the best thing he can do for his friends, whether they're still with him or not, is to hope for them]