Journal the Eleventh

[theabjectauthor]

Good afternoon, everyone. First of all, I apologize if I am interrupting anything important you may be involved in, in which case you may close your journal and weight it down with something significantly heavy, such as a can of pineapple juice or a stuffed animal with a crucial artifact cleverly hidden within, and carry on about your business.

Those of you who have a moment of free time to spare, I thank you for listening. If we have not already met or spoken, my name is Lemony Snicket, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Several months ago, I proposed a forum and a gathering of sorts for those in residency who enjoy the collection and sharing of knowledge, of many forms and sorts. For those of you interested in a list of exemplary qualities, I would be happy to share my previous announcement with you.

But to save time, and eschew any particularly verbose redundancy - a phrase which here means "avoid being both repetitive and unnecessarily wordy", which is not honestly a valid word, but will do for the sake of clarity and brevity - I would simply like to say that anyone who wishes to volunteer for discussion and other pleasant pastimes may meet me in the library, upon the second floor, this Saturday morning at half past ten. A pleasant brunch will be served, and hopefully we can all become properly acquainted with one another.

In the meantime, you may direct any questions to me over the journal, or in person - I will be spending the remainder of my afternoon in the games room, if anyone would care to join me at cribbage or any other similar recreation.

[he pauses, about to say "with all due respect", then remembers that he is not dictating a letter, simply a message. oops. improper rhetoric simply will not do]

I hope that you are all having a pleasant afternoon, or that circumstances change if you are not.

[and true to his word, anyone who wanders into the Game Room this afternoon will find him sitting at a card table, playing himself at solitaire with a root beer float nearby, and a chair opposite him pulled out, invitingly]

Comments

[written forever]

[thraxios]

[It's an amusing enough message--Gideon's not sure it's escaped verbosity, even if it isn't too redundant--and the subject matter sounds agreeable enough.]

I don't believe I was present when you first voiced this proposal. Is this meeting meant to be a general salon?

[theabjectauthor]

In a manner of speaking, yes. If you would care to peruse my original invitation, it was back in March, on this page... [he writes the page number neatly in the margins]

But you are welcome whether you choose to read the archives or not, of course.

[thraxios]

Thank you.

All virtues aside, I do have an interest in several of the subjects you listed. I'll do my best to attend, Messire Snicket.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

Oh! I remember that list of qualities! Though I don't think I could quote it verbatim.

You'll definitely see me there, Mr. Snicket! I'll be looking forward to it!

[theabjectauthor]

As will I, Jane! How have you been? I haven't spoken with you since the garden party...

[cyan_maid]

I've been okay! The castle gave me a baby for a little while.

action;

[unvarnished]

[August at least has ditched the leather jacket, but he still looks like he just passeed through here on a whim. He approaches Lemony, a faint smile crossing his lips]

Are you who I think you are?

[theabjectauthor]

[the code! Lemony looks up, his expression almost a mirror of August's]

That depends, sir. Have you been good to your mother?

[unvarnished]

The question is, has she been good to me? [yeah he's read all your books, Snicket]

Dictated

[the_effect_she_has]

You ... use an amazing amount of words in a short span of time. [She smirked faintly.] I'll fit the meeting into my schedule.

[theabjectauthor]

I'll be honored to have you joining us, Katniss. How have you been? We haven't spoken in some time.

[the_effect_she_has]

...Complicated. [She rubbed her fingers together, and she can almost feel her daughter's warmth against her fingers.] Wondering about paths I've never taken, will never get to take. What about you, Lemony?

[last_rat_standing]

[Someone is out doing his usual patrol when he spots the man and his cards. He barely even glances down before contributing]

Jack to the queen.

[He wasn't even entirely certain why he had decided to speak. Perhaps it's a sign of how bloody bored he is here with no work beyond guarding a queen who seems to enjoy drinking more than many other forms of entertainment.]

[theabjectauthor]

Oh...! [he blinks in surprise, then lays the card down where suggested]

Thank you, sir. ... [that's a very fine suit he's wearing, as well. though Lemony has always believed that complimenting a person on their clothing is a poor, shallow start to a conversation] I don't believe we've met.

[last_rat_standing]

[Well if he's going to be drawn into conversation at least it's with someone with a decent sense in fashion, himself. He nods a greeting]

Bond. James Bond.

[is_mafia]

I'll be there, Mr. Snicket. I wouldn't miss it.

[theabjectauthor]

Thank you for letting me know, Giotto. I shall make sure to save you a place at the table. Is there anything in particular you enjoy at brunch? I had eggs benedict, an assortment of baked goods, some roasted new potatoes, and mimosas in mind...

[is_mafia]

[A laugh.] All of that is perfectly fine. I'm a pretty simple man when it comes to food.

[bronwe]

Brunch! I will be there whether you like it or not.

[theabjectauthor]

Oh, but I would like it very much! I do always look forward to your stories of your home, Frodo... and I will always welcome suggestions for the menu, if you have them.

[bronwe]

Certainly sandwiches and tea.

[kethedammit]

I got maybe less'n half that, but do you got any stories?

[theabjectauthor]

Young sir, my colleagues and I have a great many stories. That is, in part, the purpose of the entire endeavour.

Which sort of stories are you most fond of?

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

I do recall a rather large checklist. Did you ever get around to adding "magical talents" onto it?

[theabjectauthor]

Not officially, though I most certainly shall. Will you be joining us?