12th sweater; an alpaca in pink rhinestone cowboy boots

[bezazzled]

[Dictated]

I'm bored. Therefore, I am now accepting jokes to make me laugh. Donate your best one so that I might make someone else laugh in the future! The person who tells me the best joke will get a thing.

Starting... now!

Comments

[psych0p0mps]

umm alright lets see
why did the cluckbeast cross the road

[bezazzled]

If a cluckbeast is a chicken, I was kind of hoping for a joke that's a bit less overdone.

[psych0p0mps]

pfft fine make me think of a real joke :p
how about this

a doctor calls up his patient and he is like
i have some bad news and some really bad news
and the patient says ok give me the bad news first
the doctor says i finished your test results and you have 24 hours to live
the patient flips out and says thats terrible! what could the really bad news be
and the doctor replies well ive been trying to reach you all day! :)

[bezazzled]

[Snort laughter ensues!]

That's terrible! And hilarious! Hilariously terrible? Or terribly hilarious? Either way, good one, Aradia.

[psych0p0mps]

hehe thanks
now its your turn

[kethedammit]

Uhh, okay, so this one time, a duck walks into the store. And he says to the store tender, you got any lemons? And the tender says, naw, I ain't got any lemons. So the duck leaves. Next day, duck comes back, asks, any lemons? Tender says no again. Third day, same thing happens, and the tender says, naw, I ain't got no lemons, and if you come in here again, I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor.

Fourth day, duck comes in and asks, hey, you got any nails?

Tender says no.

Duck says, okay, got any lemons?

[bezazzled]

[That certainly got her giggling!]

I love it! He called him on his bluff! What a smart duck.

[kethedammit]

Thanks! [Mildmay sounds honestly, excitedly pleased.] I'm mostly not so good at jokes. I got stories, though. I mean, if'n you're still bored.

[bezazzled]

Who could say no to a good story? I am all ears, my friend. Look, I am even going to fluff my pillow and settle in. [There are definitely some pillow fluffing sounds coming from her end of the journal.]

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

Gosh, I don't need a thing, but I do love a good joke! Let me think...

[Ahem!] One day, a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken. She asked him to fix it, and he answered, "Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?" No, of course it didn't.

A few minutes later, she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous, so could he please fix it? "Does it say carpenter anywhere on my forehead?" he answered. No, of course it didn't.

A few minutes later, she came back and told him the toilet was backed up, but before she could even ask, he said, "Does it say plumber anywhere on my forehead?" No, of course it didn't!

A couple of days later, the husband went on a business trip, and when he returned, he asked his wife what had happened while he was away. "Well," she said, "Our neighboor down the street came over and fixed our TV, repaired our porch, and unclogged our pipes."

"What did he ask for in payment?" the husband asked.

"He asked for one of two things," the wife told him, "Either I could bake a cake for him, or I could sleep with him."

"And what kind of cake did you bake for him?" The husband asked.

The wife looked at him smugly and said: "Do you see Betty Crocker written anywhere on my forehead?"

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE BETTY CROCKER

[bezazzled]

Jane! I didn't know you had those kind of jokes in you! Don't go telling those to the little kids, eh? Ehhhh?

[Even though Mabel is 12]

:B

[cyan_maid]

[Ssssh, it's okay, Mabel can hear it! And you'd be surprised at the joke lexicon she's got.]

Hoo hoo! I won't, I promise! I trust you'll use this joke's powers for good?

[bezazzled]

You can count on me. I will keep this joke with me for all of time, using it responsibly.

[whistles_the_blues]

Can't come up with your own material? That's tragic.

[bezazzled]

I've got some pretty good jokes in my arsenal. It's just not as fun to tell them to yourself when you're in the mood to hear some really good ones. I mean, you already know the punchline.

[whistles_the_blues]

True enough, I suppose I've just never really been one for jokes.

[bezazzled]

Now that's just sad. Maybe you just haven't heard the right joke.

[whichwayyoulean]

[It's going to be terrible and it's going to be cheesy, this much is fact]

Knock knock.

[bezazzled]

[This better be a good one, Once-ler.]

Whoooooooo's there?

[whichwayyoulean]

[Mabel you are hoping for far too much]

Doris.

[bezazzled]

[A girl can hope]

Doris who?

written

[nukeoleptic]

what do you call a lazy bison??
-a BUFFALOAFER

what did the buffalo say to his kid when he went to college?
-BI son..!!

what do you call it when you give a bison a nickle??
-a buffaloan!!!!





maybe i have too many buffalo jokes

still dictated :')

[bezazzled]

[Better than an "lol", Mabel actually laughs at the jokes and even applauds them.]

No way! I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as telling too many jokes about any one thing. Unless it's a person and they don't like it.

dictated in return c:

[nukeoleptic]

Oh! Oh, I have some more. How do you kill a circus? You go for the juggler! And- what do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin' Catholic!

[ She's laughing so hard. ]

[bezazzled]

These are great! I'm so bookmarking this page of the journal. This is comedy gold! Where'd you hear them all?