paradisa | 68; dictated/action

( Frodo )

[Generally speaking, Spike has an excellent ability to put off things that he finds uncomfortable, largely by pretending not to notice them at all. It just so happens that the subjects he's most uncomfortable with are popping up so often lately that he's struggled to keep his record down. (Especially with his new found handicap.) And unfortunately, when the distractions of unexpected nights out at strip clubs and failed car races are over, he's back to the same issues he had a week ago.

Telling a queen about her own downfall isn't something he ever expected to be his responsibility. He can pretend that he only agreed out of spite, but what he knows is a lot more disturbing that he's ready to admit. It's days after he roped Frodo into helping with the research, on that same queen's orders, that he thinks it's about time they got back together.]

Hey. Are you around?

[The tone makes it obvious why he's calling, and that he's not thrilled about it. Hopefully Frodo had an easier time translating history books than he did.]

---

[He's about to close the journal and stand up to make his way to the library, of all places, when he nearly trips over a small dog that gets in the way of his foot. When he catches himself on a table, he glares down.

Ein...]

I thought I told you not to do that. [To which Ein tilts his head and stares innocently. It gets worse when Spike actually looks at the bag he brought home to find the contents spilled across the floor while he wasn't paying attention. (How hard was he concentrating, anyway?)] You know, if you're that hungry, you really need to learn how to use a can opener. [More staring.] What? ... [Ein nudges the journal that's still open on the table, picking up his one-sided conversation.

Smart ass dog.

Like he even cares if anyone hears him talking to himself. Then the dog's stomach rumbles audibly, and Spike sighs.] Yeah, yeah. I'll get it before I leave.

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[If it were up to Spike, he would have been happy to say they came up empty handed. Or he'd like to think he wouldn't put her through that intentionally. But she'll find out somehow if it doesn't come from them. You don't get to be a queen without someone remembering.

He glances at the papers Frodo has stacked, imagining that it must get worse the more you read. -- Funny how she can be mentioned in so many books and he still feels like they're intruding on her privacy.]

She wants to know everything. [He sighs, and collapses in a chair.] Although it might help if you had some good news to open with.

And to end with.

[ It's the ending that matters, what it all comes to. The paper starts out from her birth, because he felt it was more appropriate, and goes on to cover the rest of her life. The long courtship, her three years as Queen, then what comes after written with as little detail as he could manage. ]

She will not take it well. No one would.

[He nods slowly and takes the first piece of paper. Frodo has no idea just how badly she can take things. The fact that she's yet to get the worst of it makes him really wonder how great of an idea it is to do what he's going to suggest.

After he's scanned half a page, he pauses to pull out his cigarettes. All this time he's avoided asking what's probably written on them. Apparently he's still stalling.]

That's why she wanted someone with more tact involved. You must have made a good impression.

[ And now Spike is complimenting him for something that has no bearing on his character, like good impressions ~~and keeping the Ring hidden for so long before~~. All that was just fool's luck. He isn't sure it would do him much good in bringing bad news to a queen or in comforting her after. ]

I would not wish to know if I thought my death would be so horrible.

[ Then again, he isn't sure. No one would tell him. ]

I might lose hope and that would be the end of me.

[Honestly, Spike believes that she already suspects most of what they have to tell her. He doesn't know how confirming it will make her life any easier, but he does understand the compulsion to fill in the blanks when it's all you have left. That's his whole reason for doing this.]

It's hard to argue with a queen.

[ Perhaps she does deserve to know, too. ]

We can spare her her brother's death. And, her daughter's time in captivity. She becomes Queen in the end.

[He listens partially while reading over what's in front of him, significantly distracted by the time he reaches her trial and what she was accused of.

...]

Yeah, she probably won't think to ask once we tell her the rest.

[ Frodo nods slowly, watching the papers in Spike's hand. ]

Why did she ask us to tell her?

[Mainly because a better choice wasn't available. He's guessing.]

Maybe she was hoping for a filter.

[ He nods. ]

I can be one. We can.

[He finally puts down the page he's been transfixed on. Frodo, if you only knew.]

About that...

[ Oh no, that doesn't sound good. He doesn't hide his frown. ]

What do you mean?

[How to say this without getting too awkwardly personal...]

I'm pretty sure she asked to get you involved because she wanted to hear it from you.

[ That's too awkwardly personal, Spike!! Frodo looks stunned for a moment, just staring at the man. What? ]

But-- you must have a better way with words than I do. I have never even met a Queen before her. You must tell her instead!

[Spike telling her she was beheaded after being accused of adultery... She might actually strangle him, and that's if she takes it well.

He takes a deep breath and moves the papers towards Frodo.]

I wish we had a better option.

[ This feels familiar, like the time he tried to offer the Ring to Gandalf then Galadriel. He should have learned from then, now knotting his eyebrows and hanging his head. ]

I wish nothing so horrible has happened to anyone.

[He doesn't have a response to that for a long moment, even though he shares the sentiment.]

You can't change history.

A wise one once said to me: all we can do is decide whatever choices given us in our time.

[ And that was why he chose to go because it seemed the best path he could take, the most he could do with all he has. ]

But she was given no choice.