[dictated] tigers love tuna fish sandwiches

[i_demand_euphoria]

[This morning Calvin awoke in a bed that wasn't his own. Typically this sort of thing wouldn't bother him, but he woke up in this new strange place without his best buddy Hobbes. And that's just not acceptable.

At least he has a nice new shiny diary journal to keep him company though, right?]

As comfortable as this new bed is, it hasn't been cleared for monsters yet like my old one. Does anyone have a baseball bat I can borrow to rectify this egregious error?




... one they don't mind getting slime on.

And has anyone seen a tiger wandering around? He's probably looking for tuna fish sandwiches.

Comments

[deductiongeek]

[Conan didn't even know where to start with this one.]

Why would there be monsters in your bed? Have you see one?

And why would a tiger be wandering around?

[He was still annoyed that he had to take statements like these seriously. If they were true, they still wouldn't be the most ridiculous things he had seen happen in this castle.]

You're new, aren't you.

[i_demand_euphoria]

Where else would the monsters be? And you can't expect Hobbes to just stick around forever. He is a strong and independent tiger and he kinda gets distracted sometimes. Maybe he saw a butterfly.

[Calvin what.] That depends on your definition of new, I suppose.

[deductiongeek]

Knowing this place? Anywhere. But I wouldn't believe that they're really there unless someone has actually seen one.

[A strong and independent... tiger? Butterflies? What?]

Well I haven't heard of any tigers around this place.

Do you know where you are?

[i_demand_euphoria]

That's just what the monsters want you to think. [Don't argue with Calvin on this he knows .]

... a bed.

[deductiongeek]

...I doubt that.

And do you recognize the room the bed is in?

[banshee_rider]

[She wondered. She knew you couldn't wish for weapons, but she also knew that technically a baseball bat was for baseball. Would it still work if one's intentions was to use it as a weapon?] You can try wishing for one. If that doesn't work, let me know and I'll clear the area for you.

Do you usually have to worry about monsters, where you're from?

[i_demand_euphoria]

[Calvin is likely to use a baseball bat for everything other than baseball. So no luck there.]

Yeah they're a pretty big problem.

... and whatever magic wish machine thing this place has is broken because it didn't work. Shoddy workmanship, I should think.

[banshee_rider]

There are some limitations to what you can wish for; no weapons, no living creatures, and nothing too big or complex.

What room are you in? I'll come take a look. [Likely there weren't any monsters. She hadn't heard of beasts from people's worlds coming in with them, but she was new and she'd learned pretty much anything was possible.]

[i_demand_euphoria]

Those are the only things worth wishing for though. [To Calvin they really are.]

I don't know.

[banshee_rider]

You'll find a number on the outside of the door.

What have you been told so far about the situation?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Well, I make it my job to get rid of the monsters under your bed. [Pitch you whiner baby you better not have shown up here]

...Can't say I've seen a tiger anywhere.

[i_demand_euphoria]

What kind of qualifications do you have?

Huh. I wonder where Hobbes went.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

I'm a Guardian, been doing it for centuries.

Is that the name of your tiger friend?

[i_demand_euphoria]

Yeah.

A Guardian of what? Beds?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

A Guardian of Childhood. I look after the children of the world.

[After a pause, because he's never sure how kids will take this:] I'm the Easter Bunny.

[dictated]

[socovert]

I haven't seen a tiger yet; does he have a name?

As for the monsters, I haven't seen any of those around yet either, but that concern is understandable since this place is weird.

[dictated]

[i_demand_euphoria]

His names is Hobbes. You can probably catch him with a snare trap and a tuna fish sandwich-- it's how I caught him originally.

Monsters are tricky like that.

[dictated]

[socovert]

The tuna fish sandwich shouldn't be too hard to put together. I'll let you know if I see him around the grounds here.

Especially the slime-covered ones. Not that I've come across any of those before, here or back home, but the sound like they're the tricky sort.

[dictated]

[i_demand_euphoria]

It shouldn't be too hard for you to catch him, Hobbes likes girls. [Calvin says this like it's the worst possible thing in the world. He's six. It kind of is.]

Yeah, sometimes they disguise themselves as people.

[He knows this. But he... can't seem to recall any one instance where they did. Weird.]

[dictated]

[socovert]

I don't have cooties any more, so if I catch him and return him, I promise he'll be cootie-free. [The concerns of six year olds -- she barely remembers being six herself, but she remembers the concern over cooties back then.]

What kinds of people?

[hard_talker]

[okay, this kid is awesome. Mark chuckles] No bats, but I got golf clubs. You need a hand?

GOLF club, wow, not gold club. what would Calvin do with a gold club

[i_demand_euphoria]

[Of course Calvin is awesome, Mark you have good taste.]

A robot lady broke my door down and did a perimeter check so it's fine. But I wouldn't say no to a golf club for later if I'm going to be in this place for awhile.

pawn it for an awesome wagon? IDK?

[hard_talker]

Sounds like a plan. What's your weapon of choice? Me, I like a nice 9-iron... s'got good weight to it.

why spend money on a nice wagon when he's only going to beat it up

[i_demand_euphoria]

I don't know which one has the really heavy end. [Calvin knows jack all about golf. Besides that they break lamps really easy.]

[hard_talker]

That'd be the drivers. I only really know 'cuz my grandfather used to play, and he taught me. But I can bring you one... [Calvin can probably hear the grin in his voice] ... or you can just wish it up. You tried that, yet?