paradisa | xxiii. dictated

Entry tags:

lucrezia borgia

xxiii. dictated

Spike
He came home.

What terrible months we have seen, before even the dog days arrive!

I say we put an end to it, at once. The Castle drinks our joys as greedily as it feeds on our sorrows; we might show it that happiness is what we seek. Happiness beyond bound, which we would gladly offer as payment for our borrowed time, and no more tears.

Summer brings music and merriment to the streets of Rome, gypsies and pilgrims alike dancing together. We can do similarly here.

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[Katniss is frowning over Lucrezia's message, giving it some thought. She washes herself up for the morning, thinking hard.]

...Like what, precisely?

[ She doesn't concern herself with the how, only the ideals. ]

You mean to say, what music?

Well, I more meant, what kind of happiness did you want to pursue, but that works too.

There are as many kinds as there are people. All of them, I suppose, to each their own.

Well, I have nothing against being happy ... but I'm not exactly sure which happy I should be pursuing at the moment.

[Not with so much going on that they didn't understand.]

Whichever makes you most so. You can have more than one, as many as you should like.

I've never been able to decide on more than one way to be happy. Most days I was content to have Prim happy. [She thought about it.] The only person who ever wanted my happiness for me was Peeta.... and he always made me happy. Even when he was making me miserable - him being alive was enough to make me happy for the rest.

And yet you still asked me about love.

Maybe because ... I wanted to know if it was possible to love again.

If you let yourself.

I won't lie, I'm scared.

[She smirked, slightly.] And there seems to be a lack of interest, which I don't think helps.

Do you want to love again or do you only want to know?

[That question brings her pause - did she honestly think she could love again? Like she had loved Gale, or Peeta? Then again, would Peeta want her to be alone for the rest of her life - she already knew the answer to that one.]

I don't know. [She sighed.] But I owe it to Peeta, to keep my heart open. It was all he ever asked from me, without ever asking.

[ Lucrezia thinks that's the danger with love, that no matter how many times your heart breaks, it still somehow finds a way to do it all over again. ]

And you loved him.

[She is quiet again, before she nods her head, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks]

I only loved one person more, and I lost them both. [Prim and Peeta - the two pillars of her universe. Both gone. Now she stood alone... no, not alone. Just lonely.]

[ A kindred soul, she thinks, but it's cruel to wish that on anyone. ]

Then you must love one more person, if you should choose.

Still not a lot of options. Not here, anyways.

[She sighed, brushing the hair away from her face.]

While I see too many. You might borrow my eyes.

[ Shh, Joshua's totally not reading this thread. ]

Dare I ask what your eyes would see?

[She grinned quietly.]

Too many honest men with kind eyes and soft hands. To choose from.

You must have a lot of suitors, then. [Honest men with kind eyes and soft hands - the soft hands she could do without. But the rest sounded ... like home.]

[ Soft hands are an absolute must. Her dead husband's were hard and he struck her when it pleased him to. ]

No, they are not courting my hand.

[She's never trusted a man who has soft hands - give her artistic hands that can make beautiful things, but have known hard work in their time.]

Oh, well, why do you see them then?

I have no husband to forbid me from doing so.

[She chuckled quietly.]

Well, that's as good a reason as any.

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