xxiii. dictated

[heloise]

Spike
He came home.

What terrible months we have seen, before even the dog days arrive!

I say we put an end to it, at once. The Castle drinks our joys as greedily as it feeds on our sorrows; we might show it that happiness is what we seek. Happiness beyond bound, which we would gladly offer as payment for our borrowed time, and no more tears.

Summer brings music and merriment to the streets of Rome, gypsies and pilgrims alike dancing together. We can do similarly here.

Comments

[ofhope]

It was confused, and angry.

[heloise]

Who are the villains and who are the victims.

[ofhope]

Human concepts. It's survival of the fittest, that's all.

[heloise]

We took their child.

[ofhope]

They weren't strong enough to defend it.

[heloise]

[ Neither are they, but that's an elephant in the room she isn't ready to admit. ]

You saved us.

[ofhope]

I was just fighting. It's what I do best, and it had been a long time.

[heloise]

You were afraid of becoming weaker. Are you still?

[ofhope]

[ Hey lady! Joshua quickly flips the journal shut at thtat. He does like to keep some things private, you know. B| You want the world to know he was feeling weaker? ]

...Stopping it helped me.

[heloise]

[ Aw, c'mon babe. Lucrezia just chuckles, thoroughly unphased, reaching to play with his chin. ]

You should stop more things; beasts, people.

[ofhope]

They'd be after me again.

[heloise]

You have no reason to fear them.

[ofhope]

You're still ignorant.

Besides, it's inconvenient no matter how you look at it. For once I actually saved them, if they see it that way too, that's more convenient.

[heloise]

[ She won't stand for that, dropping her hand then to wrap around his neck. Not much of a threat, perhaps, but being underestimated is her strength. ]

Is that what you want? Convenience.

[ofhope]

[ Don't care, really. It isn't that he underestimates her, but fearing physical pain is not something he worries about. It's good of her to assert herself, though, he always respects a woman with confidence. ]

I was here for a long time before you arrived, princess. Like I said, you're ignorant. It isn't your fault.

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia frowns. She hates being kept out, ignorant, something to play with rather than an agent in her own right. Cesare did the same, but she knows stomping her foot isn't the best way to get what she wants. She needs to know more, first. ]

I was told it is better to be feared than loved, if one must choose between the two. Is that so?

[ofhope]

[ Joshua's quiet for a long moment, before lightly shrugging his shoulders and reaching up to place his hand over hers, carefully angling it so that her thumbnail is against his jugular.

Now her threat is more efficient, she'll know for the future. ]

I'm a lot more familiar with knowing fear, but they're both loud.

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia bites her lips and snickers at his move, as if he had shown her a magic trick instead, pulling roses out of his veins and showing her the secret. She presses down hard enough to leave a mark but not to draw blood. ]

Equally so?

[ofhope]

I don't know if I could say accurately.

[heloise]

Why not?

[ofhope]

I'm not sure if I'd recognize love.

[heloise]

[ She smiles, trying to seem amused but it's still sad. ]

How fortunate.

[ofhope]

[ Well, it has been quite some time since he's seen his sister, and that's his classification. ]

When they fear me, their noise is unbearable. I had to suffer it for long enough, and then I had to suffer silence for even longer. So right now with you, if this is convenient, then yes I prefer it.

[heloise]

[ She watches her thumb against his skin, considering. ]

Are you asking me if it is?

[ofhope]

You were the one so upset by me even considering it.