107.3 - magic in the makeup

[hard_talker]

[normally, Monday night broadcasts are a relatively unobtrusive thing, all things considered. those who want to ignore Hard Harry's outbursts and taste in music can simply shut their journals and wait an hour or so ... but tonight, things are a little different.

tonight, at about 9:30 PM, anyone in the lobby will see a teen in an interesting ensemble: a long, neon red wig with a white terrycloth sweatband holding it securely on his head, white sweatpants, and a pink knee-length bathrobe with the sleeves cut off over a black tank top. there's a squeaking sound as he wrestles a folding table out of the elevator ... it's likely coming from the white rain boots he's wearing with designs drawn on in gold Sharpie marker. the cosplay gods were cheap with this one, right down to the plastic dollar-store kids' sword hanging from his hip and the fingerless elbow-length hipster gloves that look like they came off the sale rack at Hot Topic. the only thing of any possible value is the red jeweled pendant hanging around his neck.

he's taking it all in stride, though, grinning as he sets up the table and goes back to the elevator for his boombox and a milk crate full of CDs and cassettes. once he's got his DJ station properly set up, the resident DJ wishes up a roll of cheap red carpeting, a spotlight, and a polaroid camera. preparations complete, he claps his hands and rubs them together gleefully]

Okay, let's get this show on the road.

[instead of the slow, creeping strains of his usual theme, residents are blasted out of their cosplaying bitchfests by a barrage of electric guitar and upbeat horns, and Harry sings along at the top of his lungs for the first few lines, before turning it down just enough to be heard over]

Who DO you wanna be, folks? Guess what, here's Hard Harry with the bad news: Castle Wonderfuck don't care, you're gonna be who THEY want you to be, today! But before I give you my two Caisos' worth, let's get the ol' routine out of the way. Only one newbie so far this week, some guy named Marco. I think we can all agree that the fireworks and the barbecue were the biggies of the week, even if not everyone agrees with yours truly about how rad they were. Those of you who got in on the betting pool might wanna know it's bein' rolled over ... and if you weren't in, now's your shot to get your bets in before all hell breaks loose.

Speakin' of hell breaking loose, Tex is lookin' for patterns in the way shit goes down, so those of you research buffs who keep your noses glued to your journals might wanna put your heads together.

[he pauses to line up his music, and tosses a shout toward the journal:] Hey, Gary! Does Halloween in July here count, or what? What's the ruling? We still rollin'?

Aaaaanyway, when it comes to this whole closet-swapping clusterfuck, I honestly think Crowley put a good start to it, and he made a lotta good points. So if you didn't hear what he had to say, flip back a couple pages and check it out. There's a reason they call us WISEasses. And incidentally, did you know Marie Antoinette had her sheep painted every day to match whatever she was wearin'? Food for thought, folks. ... The only thing I really have to add, personally, is that I know there are a lotta people I could've ended up as. Any one of you sheeplets, for that matter. And there's no way in hell anyone's gonna mistake me for the guy I'm supposed to be. But if they did? He's done a lot for me. I'd consider it an honor.

Now, c'mon, everyone, up off your butts. I don't care how uncomfortable your shoes are, how runny your makeup is, how itchy your head is under that stupid wig, or if that dress really DOES make your a double s look big. We're gonna have a fashion show down in the lobby here, because if there's one surefire way to make Castle Wonderfuck feel dumb, it's to laugh right in its fuckin' face. Bring your best Glamour Shots poses! Me an' Nora'll be down here waitin'.

[and with that, he turns the music back up. COME GET YOUR VOGUE ON, PARADISA.]

Comments

[eat_me_beat_me]

[Nora thinks about flopping down in the seat next to him but, well, her rather dashing outfit doesn't lend well to flopping. She brushes some of of the red hair out of her face and sits down, running her hands down the velvet jacket to flatten out any creases.]

I'm dying with all these layers. Pass me a soda?

[hard_talker]

[he reaches down under the table for the cooler they brought, pulls out a soda, wipes the condensation off on his sweatpants, and passes it over]

Tadaaaaah.

... You make a hotter Felix than Felix, by the way.

[eat_me_beat_me]

[She laughs as she cracks it open]

Just don't tell him that.

[hard_talker]

Eh, he knows I don't swing that way. Even so, good point. Guy's having a tough enough time without me stepping on his poor ego.

[eat_me_beat_me]

I think he'll be alright. He'd got all of us to look out for him, right?

[She smiles. She may not hang out with him as much as she'd like but Felix is still one of her best friends in this place... he's certainly one of the ones she's been friends with the longest.]

[hard_talker]

Whether he likes it or not, yep. ... So, how long you figure we're gonna be stuck like this?

[eat_me_beat_me]

I don't know [she shrugs] Hopefully only a couple'a days. [She looks him over, reaching out to pick a piece of hair off of the bathrobe]

I wonder why mine looks like it could be right out of Felix's closet and yours looks like a 5 year old put it together.

[hard_talker]

Ook ook. .... Probably cuz Felix would find some way to bitch the castle out if it even tried this fuckery with his shit, and Zelos probably thinks it's hysterical. .... Where the hell is he, anyway? I haven't seen him in a few days.

[eat_me_beat_me]

[she snickered] Yeah I think you're right, there.

[a pause] You know, I don't know... I've been wondering about that, myself. Did he hole himself in his room for some reason?

Hard Harry

[last_rat_standing]

[Normally James would be loathe to reply to this circus act that boy considers a radio show but the reference to what could only be Silva needs to be addressed. This "Harry" seems to be one of the largest sources of information in this blasted place so, as much as he hates to admit it, speaking to him is probably a good idea]

His name is not Marco and you'd do well to stay out of his path.

James Bond

[hard_talker]

[if James fucking Bond tells you a guy is trouble, you listen. he sits up a little straighter in his chair and leans over the journal, like talking to it any closer will make it more secretive]

What's he call himself, then? So I know to stay the fuck away... and keep an eye out for him?

Hard Harry forever

[last_rat_standing]

[Good boy. The change in his town gains him a few points in Bond's mind]

He may go by either Raoul Silva or Tiego Rodriguez. He knows I'm here but he's yet to discover the fact that my employer is and we would rather it stay that way as long as possible.

[hard_talker]

[Mark's eyebrows raise. that's not a name he remembers from any of the movies, but, well... Wonderfuck will be Wonderfuck, he guesses. he switches to writing in case the asshole is in hearing distance]

M is here? Funny, you'd think I would've noticed a guy like that.

[last_rat_standing]

[Seriously? Where does this kid get his information? The sigh is audible as he picks up his pen and writes back]

That's because she is trained to not be noticed.

[hard_talker]

[Hollywood, you gotta lotta splainin' to do. Mark makes a face at the page. Huh.]

I'll keep my eyes and ears open. I figured we were due for another garden variety crazyass. At leasr this one doesn't eat people.

[last_rat_standing]

[crazyass... such language. Thankfully he'd done his research and knew what Mark was talking about]

He may not be a demon but he won't hesitate to kill anyone he deems a threat.

[hard_talker]

Copy that. ... You know a guy named York? He's usually the one I tell when we've got psychos in residence. Him and Brock Samson.

[last_rat_standing]

I haven't met York myself but M has. [He smirks] I do know Brock and his wife as well.

[He pauses briefly, eyes scanning the page for other replies to the broadcast]

Don't pry too much. The less you know about him the less of a threat you are. However, if you happen to hear anything from him or about him I'll trust you'll let me know. I don't know if he's learned about death in this place... nor do I know if he cares but regardless he's dangerous and I'd like to keep tabs on him by any means necessary.

[courageous_wit]

[it's not like Mark to get the newcomer's name wrong. Odd]

His name isn't Marco. He was playing the game Marco Polo.

[hard_talker]

I stand corrected.

[Hermione]

I just got a filter from somebody - he told me the dude's real name, and that he's dangerous. Bad news. Whoever the fuck he is, you should probably stay away from him.

[Mark]

[courageous_wit]

Thank you, I'll be all right. I've faced much worse than him.

Hermione

[hard_talker]

I don't doubt it, but I still gotta tell my friends to watch their asses.

Mark

[courageous_wit]

[she chuckles] I'm glad to have you looking out for me.

Hermione

[hard_talker]

Glad t'have people to look out for.

[onlyanapple]

And what colour would your sheep be today, Mark?

[hard_talker]

[he laughs]. Pink, which even I know doesn't go with the bright red wig. Yours?

[onlyanapple]

Pink huh? Fun.

Blonde and purple from the looks.

[hard_talker]

I'm making it work for me. ... Wait, purple...? Don't tell me there are fishnets.

[onlyanapple]

Oh, there most certainly are fishnets, Mark. Enough to make an interesting catch with.

[Lobby action] - let's pretend I didn't derp for like, four days instead of tagging...

[therealrisette]

[Rise just couldn't resist a call like that! Besides, she hasn't seen what Nora and Mark have been wearing yet, and who knows how much longer this'll last? (Hopefully not too much longer... even with the eye drops she's been wishing up, wearing colored contacts for two days straight is starting to get really uncomfortable.)

So it's not long before the perky little pop star makes her grand entrance to the lobby, still looking vaguely like some kind of fluffy catbunny. It's entirely subjective whether it's adorable or creepy how she bounces right up to where Mark and Nora have set up camp.]

Hiii~!

[She gives the two an amused giggle at their costumes. And a wink, of course.]

I think Nora-chan wins, but you both look great!

[It's debatable what she means by "great". "Silly" would probably be just as fitting, but who cares? It's fun!]

[hard_talker]

Great, huh? ... You're bein' generous. ... Are you supposed to be a school mascot or something?

[therealrisette]

I dunno... [She twists around a bit, making a show of checking out her own outfit.]

Aren't we supposed to be dressed up as each other?

[You'd think someone would notice a barely dressed girl in white and pink with cat ears and a tail!]

[silentrunning]

[Chell, uncostumed, is down in the lobby.]

... Who are you supposed to be.